One thing we must admit: English of non-native English speakers isn't as good they wish it to be (Myself included as I have the same problem). Non-native English speakers sometimes need work on one or two or sometimes more sides of their language, it's normal as it isn't their native language. Here are some points that you could use if you are a non-native English speaker:
1-The usual advice of 'keep a dictionary and thesaurus near you' doesn't do anymore. It isn't only about looking words up in the dictionary, but it's about rereading the paragraph where you found the difficult words about three times and having a glimpse of those words every now and again.
2-'Read, read and read' is said repeatedly in 'how to improve your English' articles, and it works really good with vocabulary. But it's different when it comes to searching for better writing styles other than that six year-old kid's style (A lot of people have this kids’ style and don’t notice it). It'll be more about reading for style than reading for fun. I have asked about suggestions to improve English style and I have been told that the best way is to read books to learn about the authors' styles and writing notes of how these authors express their thoughts.
After writing some notes out of some certain novels (Actually, it was only one novel) I found out that the thing is about both sophisticated structure and good vocabulary (Or at least better vocabulary than what I'm already using). I am not positive that I have improved, but here is a sample of a before and after notes:
Before--> When Nicholas grabbed the goblet of blood, the goblins' gasps went louder and felled the dark cave. (Too poor, I suppose)
After-->When Nicholas seized the goblet of blood between his sore hands, the echoes of goblins' gasps filled the dark cave.
I am not saying it's a major change, but it's an improvement even if a slight one.
3- Long sentences aren't as good as they might sound. The longer your sentences be, the vulnerable you are to make mistakes. Top tip: use many sentences.
4-Poor punctuation isn't a nudge for readers to read some more. Good punctuation makes your article more interesting to read and at least it doesn't make readers misread your sentences (I am not sure I am using good punctuation myself).
5-'Don't be a copy-cat' or copy styles of a certain author because, sooner or later, people will notice it while reading your story, it'll become obvious for the eye to realize two different styles in one article- one is the real author's and the other is yours when you failed in copying his style.


Comments: 14
You spoke of child-like writing, and of short sentences over long ones. According to MS Word, most of my fiction is written at 5th grade reading level. Very easy reading, but not the very choppy, five-word sentences of 2nd or 3rd grade reading level.
Your second version of the sentence is very much improved because you use an action verb (echoed) to have the sound do something. Idiomaticaly, you would say "got louder" rather than "went louder" but "echoes filled the cave" carries so much more the sense of the experience of being there. That is what good writing does--it fills the senses.
Thanks for your Advices..
De, I couldn't agree more! For sure it needs work, but it's fun too. Thanks everyone!!
And I truly agree with you when you say that the English language is combined of many, many cultures and why I admire it!!
Thanks again. I know the style of the sentence isn't perfect, but I am trying to improve though.
What the titles of the two grammar books you mentioned?