Rules for Renegades: Learn to Love Networking

Do you love to network? I do now, but I didn't always. I first learned about the value of networking on the set of the ‘70's comedy show Laugh-In, when my elementary school class toured its Burbank studio and watched a taping of the show

Goldie Hawn is dancing around the set in a pink and yellow daisy-patterned bikini. She weaves between four enormous black cameras on wheeled platforms. She passes Arte Johnson in an army costume, Lily Tomlin dressed as the "one ringy dingy" telephone operator, and a dozen guys in bell bottoms and big lapels. She dances under the lights, she dances in the dark places. Everyone is either talking or shouting across the stage to one another, women with clipboards run behind men walking really fast. Everyone is smiling, laughing, having fun. And this is their job.

        "You are soooo lucky," I whisper to Steve Snyder, whose dad arranged this field trip.

        "Yeah. I get to come here all the time," Steve says.

        "So, how did your dad get this job?"

        "He says he knows the right people."

I'm not sure what this means, but I decide then and there to make sure I know the right people so I can get a groovy job too. But how do I meet the right people? Later that evening I ask. "Dad, Steve Snyder's dad works on the set of Laugh-In. It's a great job. Steve said he got it because he knows the right people."

        "I'll bet he does, Tiger Baby."

        "How do I do that-know the right people?"

        "Schmoozing. Talking with people. Charming them. Asking them to help you."

Emotional Equity Is More Valuable

I added the first name to my Rolodex when I was nineteen: Joel Kovner, the CEO of the bank where I worked. Today my Rolodex has more than 6,000 names, and through those people I know over 1,000,000 more. Those 6,000 are friends and colleagues I treasure-the well I go to when I need advice, a sounding board, an introduction, or someone to slap me upside the head before I make a bad business mistake. Of those 6,000 people, there are probably 500 or so who would offer me whatever help I requested. It took me a while, but now I understand why.

Lots of people have a hard time asking for what they want; they don't want to be pesty or they think they don't deserve it. So flip it around. Don't think in terms of connecting with people to get what you want; think about how you can help them.

Everyone thinks about financial equity, but building emotional equity is so much more valuable and satisfying. The more you help people get what they want, the more they'll help you. When you're networking, you're not just looking blindly for people who can give you stuff; you're looking to create another kind of family-people you care about, people who will care about you. Follow your intuition; it'll tell you whom to approach and how. Look for people to connect to, to develop relationships with. In the end, it's those relationships that matter, that will make the journey worthwhile.

Don't approach others with an open hand--that "lean and hungry look" oozes desperation. Have you ever noticed there's a physicality to the gimme? There's a way people look at you when they want something: eager, impatient, expectant. Sometimes they are leaning forward, as if preparing to grab. They're watching for their moment and if they don't get it, their disappointment is reflected all over their face. Relax, kick back in your mind and just try to get to know the person you're talking to. Ask them about their business, their ideal customer, their goals. Ask what they do for fun, find out what they care about. People have fascinating lives, businesses, challenges, triumphs. Seek out these stories and you'll gain valuable insights and maybe even lessons.

>>Learn more at  about Rules for Renegades at mcgrawhillbooks.gather.com