UNHOLY RUMINATIONS
Ylanne Sorrows
26 September 2009, 28 September 2009
Lights up on a solitary figure, GOD, standing in an empty void spangled with distant stars with its back to the audience. After a long silence, GOD faces the audience, and looks someone in the eye. When it speaks, it is as though in an intimate conversation.
GOD
My name is Ya.
(beat)
I am God. I am one.
(beat)
The monotheists got that right, if nothing else.
(pause)
I wish I never existed.
(beat)
But that opens up a whole host of paradoxes and impossibilities.
(pause)
If only, if only.
(beat)
I know everything, but I have no control over my own creation.
(beat)
Free will.
(beat)
Stupid idea. Can’t say it was the best one I’ve ever had.
(pause)
The religious folks, they think they’ve got it right—they preach hatred from the pulpit and murder millions in my Name. They make up all these stories about who I am and what I’ve done and what I want—as if they could know—when they know nothing at all.
(beat)
How can they claim these things?
(beat)
I want nothing more to do with this, but how can I abandon these people whom I created, these people whom I love?
(long pause)
I hate this.
(beat)
It never ends.
(beat)
I have cried endless eons, my tears the salt of the sea.
(beat)
Earth was heaven til man came to taint it, and Earth can never be heaven again.
(long pause)
(GOD looks up, unmoving for some time before crossing to the other side of the stage, all in silence.)
Sometimes, I feel cursed.
(beat)
I never began. I have always been.
(beat)
Strange verb, that, but hey, I didn’t create language—man did. You did.
(pause)
I created you because I wanted to love and to be loved. Hard to do alone. Being one and being infinite—it is a solitary existence. I had hoped – but no. No. I knew, I knew everything, and I did it anyway. More paradoxes.
(Pause, while GOD sighs.)
You live wrong.
(beat)
You murder, you lie, you cheat, you steal, you even do it in my name, and under the false pretense that I want you to stand on a corner and shout “God hates fags!” or blow yourself up so I’ll reward you with eternal life.
(pause)
Lies.
(beat)
Human lies.
(beat)
Man’s lies.
(long pause)
(GOD wanders offstage into the audience, walking up one of the aisles, in silence. When GOD speaks, it addresses one audience member in particular, as though in conversation.)
Religion is like you. You are a microcosm of religion. You have every potential to be good, to do good, to live right. . . but you have every potential to be evil, to do evil, to live wrong. To cause pain and suffering. . . or to offer hope and to love one another. . . love me. . . the way I love you.
(pause)
You know, I’ve heard it said by some atheists that if I just appeared in some visible, tangible manifestation like BOOM! CRASH! Yo, God’s in da HOUSE! and everyone of every religion (or lack thereof) knew I was real and I exist and I’m very present, then suddenly everything everywhere would be made right and you would have world peace, and war and poverty and disease and corruption and crime and evil and fighting would be gone forever and ever.
(beat)
Yeah right.
(beat)
I know better.
(beat, GOD laughs bitterly)
I am God, after all.
(long pause, GOD returns to the stage at the same pace he left it, and then indicates one star in particular, cupping lovingly in its hands. GOD speaks abruptly, interrupting a moment of silent conversation between GOD and the star, but without looking at the audience.)
You see this star here?
(beat)
You see it real clear?
(beat)
Good. Watch this — poof. Gone. Dead. That star’s life is over now. It was coming to an end anyhow. Would have been only another million years.
(long pause, GOD stands in silence for some time, perhaps in respect for the dead star. After a while, GOD sits down center stage, facing the audience.)
You know something?
(pause)
I’ve thought about this, long and hard — believe me, I have eternity — and I think all of existence would have been better off without me.
(beat)
Nonexistence.
(beat)
If I didn’t exist, this world certainly wouldn’t. Or you. Or hatred. Or human immunodeficiency virus. Or deoxyribonucleic acid. No life. No death. No war, no good, no evil.
(beat, GOD looks at the floor)
Better.
(beat)
No sorrow. No pain. No shame.
(pause)
But some things are best left unspoken.
Blackout.
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Comments: 43
of bones and love
10 4 u
I am amazed at the talent you write with. It's enough to read and take it in and feel...
Thank you for posting to Gather Writing Essentials, Monday,
Marilyn
Thank you for your kind comments! The ending, as I conceived it, would not be some huge, earthshaking theological or ethical discovery or conclusion. . . The title itself is "ruminations", or thoughts, and rarely do one's thoughts conclude very nicely. . . I hope on your re-read of the final segment, you may perhaps appreciate that better. :)
It's been a lot of years since I wrote a play, but shouldn't there have been something about the lighting when GOD walks out into the audience? Either the house lights come up or He's followed with a spot?
Sir Francis Bacon wrote that some books are to be tasted ,others chewed, while some are to be swallowed and digested. This play falls into the latter category.
We come to the Almighty with our wish list, seldom thinking how we might address His. This play throws us back on ourselves in this respect. This great provider...what tiny gift can we offer Him in gratitude? What piece of ourselves, Ylanne? This work's operative point, I think.
Ah, that we could return Love to God ,and then to our fellow humans! There's the rub for private self examination.
Thank you for posting this. A worthy sharing!
Intriguing perception of God.
This line, "I think all of existence would have been better off without me," hit me. It sounds very human... very depleted, hurt, and deceived. You know, like a person who is depressed though they are loved by many. Very sad.
You have an interesting way of seeing things. Thanks for sharing.
However, raised as a Protestant, I grew up on both the Old and New Testament writings.
So often in the Old Testament, God asked, "How long must I suffer these people?"
He also declares that he is a jealous and consuming God. Meaning ,that he would not abide man "harlot-ing" with various & sundry idols forever.
When Noah was commanded to build the Ark, clearly God had reached a point of dire frustration with all of creation.
He later described the multitude traveling with Moses from Egypt to The Promise Land as a "stiff-necked people."
So objectively,I see the line not so much as a negative critique of God anymore than I see those of his descriptions of himself in a given instance.
All writing should be placed in context to be meaningful. Even writings about God, as the play justly does.
When I look at the fact that I can be one of those stiff-necks, it grieves me that I could push such a wonderful being to feel such sorrow, such a disappointment in me.
I especially liked the ending.
Is the non-existence of things like pain, shame and sorrow worth the non-existence of things such as beauty, love and joy?
Nor release til you have known pain
You cannot know freedom less you have been a slave
Nor can you have beauty til you've looked in the mirror