Mr. Henderson is a *expletive*

Mr. Henderson. Ah, that name provokes disturbing and ear-splitting memories. Well-known for swearing at little kids and kicking old ladies, Mr. Henderson is himself a senior citizen living on the outskirts of HummingBird City on a three acre plus property. He lives in a large, brand new home, which is marred and charred as the result of countless missiles coming down for Henderson’s backyard.

Henderson blames each missile (at least two a week) on ‘those beep kids’, when, in fact, those who are responsible are in their twenties and thirties, and of course, each missile is unintentionally aimed for his yard. Henderson claims otherwise and has, seventy-eight times to be exact, sued in court. Each time he has lost.

Henderson is an older man with thin grey and white hairs poking out of his skull. He likes to wear plaid shirts with khaki pants. Henderson is obsessed with his garden, which is ruined at least two times weekly. Although he claims to be piously religious, sources say otherwise.

Henderson’s mother attested to the fact that he is himself an extremely prejudiced and mean-spirited man. According to her, Henderson threw rocks at windows and people alike with the same force and exertion. He called other kids dirty names and stole their lunch money. Henderson is still a mean man.

Every time any innocent ignorant person walks by Henderson’s home, he will look out the window, give them the finger, shout some profanities and then glare at them. his neighbors know by now well enough to steer clear of the man.

The only reason this biography is being written and that Henderson is even publicly known is because, for some strange supernatural reason, during Sabre-X’s plot, more than three-quarters of the missiles he used deterred from their intended target and landed in Henderson’s yard. Naturally, he swore and cursed, but to no avail.

Henderson has a coarse, rough voice that is wrecked by a wracking cough. He has a thin frame and his skin is always terribly sunburned.

No matter what you nice people think, Henderson is not a force to be reckoned with. He will never change and nothing will move him. Nobody even knows anything about him except what is in this biography. So why even bother?

Why are you reading this boring little piece of paper anyway? It’s in Times New Roman font, 10 pt., or point as people say. Although it really means ‘pixels tall’. Anyway, there’s no point to be reading this. If you’re a normal person, you shouldn’t even be interested. What? What’s so funny? Did I type something funny? Is that why you’re laughing? You’re not laughing? Oh. Anyway, it’s probably a good idea to avoid Mr. Henderson.

And missiles, for that matter. Have a nice day!