Blonde hurting all over
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd" replied the doctor "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says to her "Your not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde" she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken." replies the doctor.
HEAVENLY BLONDE JOKES
A Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."
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Comments: 49
Here's some points for you Betty.....
I used to be blonde
I was blonde for 14 years.
It looked great with my tan.
Odd in the winter time.
But they stopped making the lightening agent that gently lifted the color out of my hair.
Then my hair got too light---as I was always stripping but never adding color back.
In '05 my daughter got married.
It was a very stressful time for me, for all of us.
Bittersweet in fact.
About a month before the wedding,
the stress was getting to me.
I looked in the mirror one day and said
NO
I went out and bought my own natural color--
light golden brown.
I put it on, and after 14 years, I became my self again (at least visually)
Now I use the color a few times a year, not many.
I swim a lot year round so the color fades.
And usually my natural hair hangs in waves and ringlets, unless I blow dry it straighter.
I mention this because the edges of the ringlets, for some reason show as golden, almost blonde sometimes.
I like it.
And I wrote this babble here not because it is particularly interesting, but rather,
to give you some of the points you long for.
I can't speak for their cash payouts, but I ordered my first Gather gift card recently, quietly hoping it would come before Christmas, so I could use it for a gift.
IT CAME IN JUST A FEW DAYS!!
I have an all new respect for gather and the workings here.
And I wish you every happiness this Christmas Betty.
Also I learned that a dishwater blond went all blond for 14 years for reasons not told.
I also learned that some people get points that are useable from peoples posts. interesting. I've also learned there is an exclusive club where you can earn 3000 points a month and get money from Gather. Would be nice but why 3000 a MONTH, why not $50 for 3000 points period?
Mother begs teachers: "Please find a way to pass my daughter."
Teacher: "Okay, I'll give her one more test. It will be comprised of one question. If she gets the answer right, she passes. If she misses it, she fails. It's a simple question and she's twelve-years-old, so she ought to be able to get it right." To the daughter: "Are you ready?"
Daughter: "Yes, I'm ready."
Teacher: "Okay, what's two plus two?"
Daughter, after considerable thought: "Four?"
Mother, leaping to her feet in dismay: "Oh, please, give her another chance!"
Marta
I'm visualizing your fellow welders sitting around telling blonde jokes.
Two brunettes and a blonde are sitting in the OB's office. The first brunette turns to the second and asks "do you know the sex of your baby?". The second says "We have a tradition in our family. If the man's on top, then it'll be a boy. If the woman's on top, it'll be a girl. So we're going to have a boy!". The first brunette grins and says "I guess I'm having a girl!".
The blonde gets all flustered and worriedly says "oh my God - I'm going to have puppies!"
nyuk nyuk nyuk
The first one yells, "Hey! How do I get to the other side???"
The second yells: "You ARE on the other side!"
Check out my semi-finalist chapter in the Borders/Court TV Search for the Next Great Crime Novelist competition. THE HARD BOUNCE – CHAPTER 2
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