What I Learned From Carter William K.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM CARTER WILLIAM K

Carter William K was three months old when he died. Not three months old by the world’s measure that begins numbering our days from the time we are pushed from the protective surroundings of our mother’s womb into the chaos of a hospital delivery room, but three months old according to the way God numbers our days. The God who said, “I knit you together in your mother’s womb,” and “I knew you before the creation of the world.” He was three months old according to the God who knows that true life begins at the moment of conception, that life, all life, no matter how young or old, how long or short, was planned in advance by Him.

So what can a tiny baby born before he was able to survive apart from the life support of his grieving mother teach me? What did he have to offer to a world that is deceived enough to call him “fetal tissue” or “the product of conception”? In my heart, there is much that he taught me, and much that I still hope to learn.

Carter taught me to keep fighting no matter what. Keep fighting for life. Even when the fight doesn’t turn out the way we want, it will still be God’s victory in the end. Carter did not pass from life in his mother’s womb into death. He passed into life. Eternal life. Life with the Father and the Son; a life that we can only anticipate, Carter is enjoying today. So I will keep fighting for life, for what is good and true and right. Carter’s fight for life was not in vain, and neither are the battles we face here on earth. Even if we can’t see the purpose or the victory now, we will see it in the end. And if we know Jesus as our Savior, we will see Carter once again, victorious in his fight for life.

Carter proved to me that the ability to love a person goes far beyond their ability to do anything of value for others. A person’s value to society has nothing to do with their value as a human being created in the image of God. Oh, I knew this already, but not so profoundly, so personally. Love for this little, helpless baby goes deep, touching every part of who I am. He had nothing to offer me or anyone else, except that he WAS! That is how God loves us. We can’t do anything for Him, not really, but He loves us with everything that He is. Loving Carter reminded me of that great love, in the small measure that I am able to love in comparison to the way God loves.

Watching Carter on the ultra sound reminded me again that life inside the womb is still life, no more or less than my life or the life of anyone else. He moved, he stretched his arms and legs, he waved his tiny hand as if to say “hello out there”, or maybe “goodbye, I’ll see you later.” Seeing him after his death was heart wrenching, and yet, comforting. He was a baby, perfect in every way. His fragile little hands were folded across his chest, tiny fingernails barely noticeable, but there. His tiny feet were perfectly formed with ten little toes. His face was so sweet with a cute button nose and eyes and ears. No, he was not a blob of tissue, as some would have us believe. He was a baby, my grandson, the first child of my daughter and her husband.

Life, every life is a precious gift from God. Carter was here for such a very short time, but he is in heaven for eternity. We will see him and know him someday. We will just have to wait. But instead of waiting for his birth, he will be waiting for ours. For those of us who know the Lord, he will be waiting to meet us in heaven when God calls us home. Until then, as I grieve for the loss of this little one, I will cherish the lessons I learned from his life and his death, and I will keep my heart open to whatever else God wants to teach me during this time. And while I look forward with great anticipation to seeing Jesus face to face when my life on earth ends, I will also look forward to seeing Carter alive and greeting me, “Welcome home, Grandma!”