by Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom'
Member since:
April 25, 2007

WEAVE the Relationship...Poetry Please

February 02, 2008 03:07 AM EST
views: 159 | rating: 10/10 (42 votes) | comments: 61
 

Her soft hands weaving my tight braid

As growing the relationship more strong

Unfold layers, one untouched one unbraid

A nameless mantra I heard in her song

 

A drop of oil intermingled with her fingers

Played thousand cosmic rhythms in my mind

My innocent questions, her dynamic answers

Weaving the moments, she remained kind
link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 61

Very nicely done Bhawana. I enjoyed reading this.
William Dotani Feb 2, 2008, 3:30am EST
Very beautiful image your words paint. I especially like this line, 'My innocent questions, her dynamic answers.' This shows you have kept such words in your heart.
Brenda (square peg in a round hole) H. Feb 2, 2008, 3:31am EST
Very, very nice Bhawana. It reminded me of the days when I always had my hair braided.
Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Feb 2, 2008, 3:32am EST
Beautiful poetry...so gentle, so heartwarming, so lovely.
Fred Hose Feb 2, 2008, 3:37am EST
I can't comment on this Bhawana. I don't know why. I think that it's the tears in my eyes. I'll go and sit under a tree.
I'd like to say a little prayer. Excuse me dear.
Spencer T. Feb 2, 2008, 3:57am EST
I knew you had in you
but held it up your sleeve
Such sensitivity let loose
in this poetry you so weaved.

Good stuff, love it.
Emma L. Feb 2, 2008, 4:09am EST
Beautifully done
Lawrence U. Feb 2, 2008, 4:24am EST
Lovely poem, Bhawana! The "cosmic rhythms" capture the moment very well indeed.
J W. Feb 2, 2008, 4:58am EST
good poem
Betty DeRamus Feb 2, 2008, 5:41am EST
beautifully done,
Beverly T. Feb 2, 2008, 6:29am EST
I love the contrasts you've played out in this poetry.

Soft hands/ tight braid
strong relationship/ a soothing mantra
innocent questions/ dynamic answers

It's music!
Photobucket
Aesop for Today, February 1
Deb J. Feb 2, 2008, 7:50am EST
That's real nice sweet girl!! Thinking of you...Hope you have a nice Saturday and weekend! Love ya!
Photobucket
Neal Wass Feb 2, 2008, 9:27am EST
This took me back to when my mother fixed my hair. She had three little girls and very little time. I remember the brush finding knots in my tresses and mother saying, you have to stand a little pain if you want to be beautiful.
Cheryl W. Feb 2, 2008, 10:48am EST
Bhawana...this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
TK Rosevear Feb 2, 2008, 2:03pm EST
Like Fred, this hit my soul deeply - love to you Bhawana ;)
lynn a. Feb 2, 2008, 2:06pm EST
Buzzy, This is beautiful. It's so full of love. It is so powerful it is almost overwhelming.
Kay M. Feb 2, 2008, 3:50pm EST
This is very moving Bhawana.
sheila h. Feb 2, 2008, 4:53pm EST
Peaceful ,joyful..like a prayer..
the sharing..the love
this is beautiful
a beautiful memory poem that could only have sprung from the heart and mind of one so loved by caring hands..
sheila h. Feb 2, 2008, 4:54pm EST
Your heart sings to you..
Marge H. Feb 2, 2008, 6:03pm EST
Like Fred, this brought tears to my eyes. So very exquisite.
Donald M. Feb 2, 2008, 6:04pm EST
Wonderful, Sounds like a memory hidden deep inside. Funny how such simple things can bring so much pleasure.
Alison Pearce Feb 2, 2008, 9:19pm EST
Beautiful my friend, missing you so much!
donna h. Feb 2, 2008, 10:53pm EST
Bhawana, beautiful
Phyllis R. Feb 3, 2008, 12:21am EST
Beautiful, just beautiful!!

These words "My innocent questions, her dynamic answers" brought back so many wonderful memories from spending so much time with my grandmother as I was growing up....as I read them over and over I saw her face so vividly! Thanks for sharing a beautiful heartfelt poem!!
Vern R. Feb 3, 2008, 1:45am EST
Nice work.
Kristen W. Feb 3, 2008, 9:21am EST
I love these lines the best: A drop of oil intermingled with her fingers

Played thousand cosmic rhythms in my mind. But it's a beautiful poem that transferred me to time and place in my mind. A great job!
Tracey W. Feb 3, 2008, 9:59am EST
Lovely Bhawana, like a cherished memory.
Tom C. Feb 3, 2008, 2:20pm EST
Bhawana - this is such an intimate moment you share, of what could pass as just a chore for some, but you have extracted the essence of human connection and distilled the nectar of a loving relationship. So often the routine is a canvas for our frankest and most revealing moments. Thank you for sharing this important memory.
TK Rosevear Feb 3, 2008, 2:22pm EST
A win won by one who weaves beauty ;)
sheila h. Feb 3, 2008, 2:27pm EST
YaY!
Bhawana ....this is fantastic! Congratulations on this win!
Granny Janny H. Feb 3, 2008, 2:30pm EST
Well done and congratulations! I love TKs comment! It says it all.
K.L.B Da'Vir Feb 3, 2008, 2:31pm EST
I have read this seven times and still cant decide on the meaning. I read it, look at the picture and cannot get past the imagery and intimacy of the poem. Good Job! Congrats
Cherished memories now shared by all of us. Thank you Bhawana for your unique perspective.

Congratulations on the recognition of 1st in The Poetry Please standings for this prompt.
DragonSoul !. Feb 3, 2008, 3:32pm EST
As a man with long hair, this poem brought me back to days when I would let my little nieces braid my hair. They had so much fun "styling" my hair that I just couldn't tell them to stop. Great poem and congratulations on winning this weeks Poetry Please challenge.
lynn a. Feb 3, 2008, 4:25pm EST
Buzzy, I was reading this again, and I just have to tell you that sometimes I do have regrets that I can't go back to raise my daughter. In these older years I have come to believe the quiet moments, the moments of just being and doing an ordinary task, such as braiding hair, coloring on the table, dusting together, those were the moments to shape the bond, to share the love, to acknowledge her worth, to provide a sense of peace and comfort and belonging. I see you got this. I am glad for you.
Marge H. Feb 3, 2008, 5:15pm EST
Congratulations Bhawana!
Kathy W. Feb 3, 2008, 7:12pm EST
BBBB: This piece moved me down to the ground. I remember my mom, brushing her four daughters hair every night. That was our little good night ceremony. It was only about 10 minutes, but all my sisters and I remember it (she just passed this month) with great longing and love. We called it "plaiting" instead of braiding...but it is woven into my memory tighter than the band that held the braid.
My daughters will tell you the same story some day, of how their momma brushed and plaited their hair. With love, and with lectures! LOL.
Blessed be. Lovely poem.
Wilka
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Feb 3, 2008, 8:22pm EST
Thanks everyone. Your encouraging words are precious...
Elaine H. Feb 3, 2008, 8:26pm EST
really beautiful Bhawana!
Mariana T. Feb 3, 2008, 9:53pm EST
Bhawana - oh this is really touching and beautiful and has so much feeling - I can remember mama braiding my hair into two braids for most of my life until I slept with gum in my hair and well - that's an article in itself - thank you and I love the picture - silhouette of the girl's hair braided by her mother...lovely tribute. Salud.
Elsie Duggan Feb 3, 2008, 10:19pm EST
Bhawana, I am so happy you won for this poem, it tells so much of your relationship with your mother, as a child, and the bond was woven then, and will never be broken, not by anything, God Bless you , take care.
flit . Feb 3, 2008, 10:23pm EST
this is wonderful; your win is very well deserved.
Neal Wass Feb 3, 2008, 10:39pm EST
Congratulations........you really did a wonderful job.
Sheila Deeth Feb 4, 2008, 12:52pm EST
Wow! Congratulations Bhawana! Beautiful poem, and very well deserved win. Great job.
amarpreet k. Feb 5, 2008, 7:48am EST
Bhawana , the picture itself portrays the deepest feeling of your heart
making braids and such small things that bring her close to us durign our tender years and remain with us as long as we exist ...
Jim Ross Feb 5, 2008, 2:32pm EST
Remembrance of the highest, most significant order, Bhawana. Beautiful poem.
William M. Feb 5, 2008, 3:02pm EST
Very good, Bhawana.
t b. Feb 6, 2008, 12:20am EST
What lovely reactions this poem stirred Bhawana.
Thank you.
William Dotani Feb 6, 2008, 4:21am EST
I just came by to look at a few comments. I'm just surfing around and playing ketchup tonight. This past weekend was quite stressful.
sheila h. Feb 6, 2008, 12:22pm EST
stopping again to read the calm beauty of this
be well,my friend!
xo

maple syrup sap is starting to flow from the trees!.
Erin P. Feb 6, 2008, 7:16pm EST
This really was a wonderful piece. Absolutely loved it!
Kamran Qureshi Feb 7, 2008, 5:38am EST
:) - This one is in memory of your mother I guess. It's beautiful. Best Regards
necee t. Feb 7, 2008, 8:19pm EST
how beautiful, Bhawana... lovely memories.... Blessings to you...

Glitter Graphics

Congratulations Glitter Graphics
Renu Gera R. Feb 8, 2008, 2:19pm EST
I loved it Bhawana!

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16865, "Oz"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.