by Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~.
Member since:
November 12, 2007

Pain behind those eyes - "single word challenge"

November 27, 2007 10:22 PM EST (Updated: December 01, 2007 06:32 PM EST)
views: 76 | comments: 37

Seeing her,
Eyes such a daze.
Not knowing where her thoughts were,
All just a phase.

If only she would speak,
We would understand.
She is weak,
We lend a hand.

Nothing brings it out,
She is still lost.
What if we shout?,
So many roads she crossed.

Eyeglasses won't even show,
The pain behind those eyes.
She waits for the next blow,
And keeps looking at the skies.

                               S. Renee Hutchinson
 

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Comments: 37

Kathy W. Nov 27, 2007, 10:58pm EST
Wow...that last stanza... Kicks it!
Wilka
Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Nov 27, 2007, 11:26pm EST
Thanks both of you for your comments
Stacie N. Nov 28, 2007, 12:53am EST
It's a rough one to read because it is so real.
Brian D. Nov 28, 2007, 3:23pm EST
Very profound
Alison Pearce Nov 28, 2007, 6:06pm EST
Sad but beautifully written
Sheila Deeth Nov 28, 2007, 6:08pm EST
Very real. Very powerful read. The last stanza makes me go back and read again, and so sad to think how many times it's true.
Lydia aka Freedom's Daughter Nov 29, 2007, 12:38pm EST
Well written piece S. Renee.
Jan S. Dec 1, 2007, 1:29am EST
Very sad and a profound expression of a terrible condition. Very well written!
TK Rosevear Dec 1, 2007, 1:41am EST
:( a beautiful poem about a horrible injustice to children...
Elsie Duggan Dec 1, 2007, 1:56am EST
The poem is wonderful, the subject is not, but needs to be said and corrected, and eyeglasses won't do it, sad to say
Amy P. Dec 1, 2007, 2:49am EST
What a sad poem.
Becky S. Dec 1, 2007, 4:27am EST
very sad but well written. The last stanza really DOES kick it. Keep up the good work! hugs :0)
Betty DeRamus Dec 1, 2007, 5:29am EST
wow, so very sad and yet states so much truth.
Emma L. Dec 1, 2007, 5:30am EST
Powerful poem... on such a horrible situation
Lydia (part of the solution) Shelley Dec 1, 2007, 5:57am EST
wow
Anne N. Dec 1, 2007, 6:04am EST
I can feel your pain in your poem, my deepest sympathy to you, The poem is excellent, a winner
Barbara S. Dec 1, 2007, 6:15am EST
You put alot of feeling into this...good job.
Danielle P. Dec 1, 2007, 7:09am EST
Very sad, but beautifully written.
Beverly T. Dec 1, 2007, 8:42am EST
This expresses the pain so well. Nice work!

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A. Foster T. Dec 1, 2007, 8:56am EST
I'm not much of a poetry aficionado, but I do like to right. I found this very touching and the words brought images to my head. A ten from me Thanks for inviting me to read it.
Amie
P.S. If you had a second, I'd love it if you stop by and give mine a vote. The one with the most 10's move on and the winner gets their book published. Thanks!

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Christopher K. Dec 1, 2007, 9:22am EST
Very Nice-Well Done!
Spencer T. Dec 1, 2007, 9:26am EST
Strikingly vivid yet, sad.
Sharon B. Dec 1, 2007, 9:54am EST
very profound poem. Great job!
Ricky Fico Dec 1, 2007, 12:01pm EST
Profoundly insightful and speaks of a certain reality that exists in this world and if we individually and collectively build bridges and further awareness we can make a huge difference... I thank you for sharing this wonderfully crafted poem!
Michael L. Dec 1, 2007, 2:40pm EST
how sad, but very well written. Thank you
Deeanna M. Dec 1, 2007, 2:59pm EST
so sad yet so beautiful
Shirl T. Dec 1, 2007, 3:24pm EST
very true and well written beautiful
Tracey W. Dec 2, 2007, 10:04am EST
That is truly beautiful Baby James. So sad, but so lovely. Good work.
Kathy W. Dec 2, 2007, 3:17pm EST
BJF: Congrats on your win...a definite heart-felt love-melt poem. And I so, soverymuch loved that last stanza...it really kicked me in the heart when I read it.
Keep writing, keep posting and sharing.
Wilka
Alison Pearce Dec 2, 2007, 3:35pm EST
Congratulations on winning second place on Poetry Please
becky soccer mom x1 p. Dec 2, 2007, 4:58pm EST
very sad
Cindy P. Dec 2, 2007, 10:31pm EST
very sad
Ruthe M. Dec 3, 2007, 9:25am EST
How sad; but beautifully written. Congratulations!
Sheila Deeth Dec 3, 2007, 8:35pm EST
Congratulations! Excellent poem - well deserved award.
Christina F. Dec 4, 2007, 3:26pm EST
Very well done!

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Nick Howes Feb 1, 2009, 10:44am EST
Here's a 10 and a click towards your next cash-out.

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