by Susan B.
Member since:
February 13, 2007

Envy (Single Word Challenge)

October 14, 2007 03:14 PM EDT (Updated: October 14, 2007 03:20 PM EDT)
views: 74 | comments: 24
 

Welcome all Poetry Please members and anyone who should find this poem.

"Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort, be insupportable."

Samuel Johnson

 

Envy (Double Etheree)


Stick
Figure
Pencil thin
Eats anything
Doesn't exercise
High metabolism
Doesn't even like chocolate
Chews the fat metaphorically
He looks thirty though he's fifty-five
Embodiment of Ma Goose's Jack Sprat
Embodiment of Sprat's plate licking wife
Never lost during chemotherapy
Can't walk now on unbalanced legs
Sluggish metabolism
Quit soda, gained ten pounds
Counts all calories
Born with big hips
Tries to laugh
It all
Off

2007 © Sue Barton

This is posted in response to Tracey W.'s challenge at Poetry Please prompt for 10/14/07 - Envy.

 

If you enjoyed this poem, you might like to read some more. To see a complete listing of the poems I have posted on Gather, follow this link.

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Comments: 24

Tracey W. Oct 14, 2007, 3:41pm EDT
Sue, this is spectacular. You really went for it!
Terry M. Oct 14, 2007, 4:47pm EDT
This is my type of poetry! I will write one of these myself.
Kimberly Ripley Oct 14, 2007, 5:39pm EDT
This is incredibly creative. I love it! I definitely fall into the second category.
Jerry S. Oct 14, 2007, 6:16pm EDT
Thanks for positng.
Jo C. Oct 14, 2007, 6:23pm EDT
I'm glad I had a a chance to read this. I can truly relate, not having a fast metabolism.
Alison Pearce Oct 14, 2007, 6:39pm EDT
Great style Susan and I can so relate!
Carole S. Oct 14, 2007, 6:40pm EDT
I am not familiar with this form , but I am sure it is very well done. Weight I think is on the mind of 80 percent of us women. I am 61 and it is a constant battle for me. When I lose it always wants to creep back....even when walking every day.
Susan B. Oct 14, 2007, 6:50pm EDT
Carole - there's a link to a description of the style on the word Etheree. quickly it is 1 syllable added to each line 1-10 and the double etheree then goes back from 10-1
perfectly wonderful susan
Angie O. Oct 14, 2007, 8:08pm EDT
Good job Susan.
Vivian P. Oct 14, 2007, 9:09pm EDT
very good
Michelle R. Oct 14, 2007, 9:21pm EDT
Very nice piece of work.
Otelia S. Oct 14, 2007, 10:26pm EDT
Interesting read
Jamie ~grant me the serenity..~ G. Oct 14, 2007, 11:17pm EDT
I fall into that second category too.
Well done on the writing. :D
Tom C. Oct 15, 2007, 12:08am EDT
Nice Job, Susan - high metabolism is definitely something to envy! I also wrote one called Envy, but for some reason it hasn't been posted here. You can read it on my site if you are interested.
Elsie Duggan Oct 15, 2007, 12:47am EDT
This is wonderful Susan, Gosh it will be hard to come up with something even close to that, you did a great job with this word challange, and I love how you presented it, excellent.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Oct 15, 2007, 2:10am EDT
Susan you are very cute...and this one is just mind blowing...

God bless you
Sheila Deeth Oct 15, 2007, 4:45pm EDT
Great poem. Love the shape and sound of it.
TK Rosevear Oct 16, 2007, 2:55am EDT
Definitely well formed for all shapes and sizes, Susan :)
You have been a busy one haven't you????
Love it
Granny Janny H. Oct 16, 2007, 5:50pm EDT
Brilliant!
Corinna Parr Oct 16, 2007, 10:15pm EDT
You matched the form perfectly with the content. Wonderfully done!
Bundy P Oct 17, 2007, 1:15pm EDT
Fabulous!
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Oct 19, 2007, 10:13pm EDT
revsited and must say..this is very nice..

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