MsTish! Confessions of sin.........

As much as I teach and activate healing in individuals, I have to confess my sins today. Since July 2008 I was decieved by the devil into believing that my childhood love, still loved me. When i was 15 he stopped talking to me for no reason and at 34 I allowed him to come back into my life and basically do the same thing. He gave me a sense of security when my husband left me and the boys. And he made me feel love....But I only realized that it was all sin and adultrey, when i asked him to leave and he left. I felt so empty inside after he left, that i went and found him and tried to get him to come back home and he physically pushed me off him and bad mouthed me several times. And he told me that he was never coming back. For the year we were together he had 1 job and that was at long john silvers, and it lasted a week and then he quit with excuses of not being able to handle it. We lived in hotels everywhere! And i paid the rent on all of them with my disability checks. He never once helped me with my boys financially. I bought clothes for his daughter and treated her as my own but i guess me and my boys were not important enough to him to help us. Everyone that was in my corner left my corner as time went on and i stayed with him in sin. After filing for divorce from my husband for abuse i was looking forward to becoming his wife but he kept doing nothing and it made me tired of him to the point that i told him to get out and when he raised his voice at me, i picked up the scissors on my desk and told him to leave and not to talk to me like i was a man or nobody. I let things  be as they were for 3 days and then i went and found him and he treated me like he never had feelings for me. I have learned gather friends that when your in sin, sin is what you get, and happiness is far from sin. When a snake is attacking.....it's quiet and it blends in with silence. Sitting back and thinking about things I know that he was only with me to use me to make him famous and get his music heard and his kids fed....all off me. Gather friends I never knew people could be sooooooooo mean and evil hearted towards a good person. After he left, after a year of not working, he went immediately and got a job.......He also asked me where was my faith?????.....Before leaving him the last time we talked i gave him 10.00 and told him to be blessed. He asked me why was i giving him the money and my response was that i needed our father to bless me and my sons......I have not seen him since...I pray that our father send the comforter to me to give peace and total understanding and strength..MsTish! will be single until our father send the right one....Gather friends if you have any advice on this please comment.....