Gather Friends 2009 Resolutions Part 2

I've been sitting here deciphering resolutions of my Gather friends. I'm just the translator, so say what you will about my accuracy and steady aim to at least spell correctly. I think I'll start with Kay M because I was startled. Her resolution was to have a contest to see who can have the longest icicle hanging from her nose in just one hour on a special, but not Tuesday because she gets her hair done on that day. As far as I know, officials in her Ohio town have not commented yet, but it is on the PTA meetings agenda. I just couldn't finish the rest. I would have had to sit down, if I wasn't sitting and with concerned face wandered, if she had thought about frostbite. Listen, I just translate, but the nose is important, especially to some ladies who always seem to pad their nose, in plain view, in a restaurant. I just couldn't eat the soup after seeing this. Phobia or trauma. Well, back to topic.

Wilma, who we all know has that daredevil streak. Going on Oregon beaches, wrestling an octopus and winning eight citations: I think that means something good. Well, Wilma wants to find the quickest way by car to duck in and out of duck Oregon on her westward-ho adventures. I don't think this means or maybe slightly infers anything sinister. The fact is that Oregon is just too warm in Winter for Wilma who has taken a correspondence course from Marge on the fast growing hobby of making snow angels.

Sheila H's resolution was quite a chore to put together. There was something about radio waves, Burt Reynolds and Playgirl magazine. The words Mylar and balloon seemed central and when I saw Dinah Shore I knew for sure she wanted to be in a local musical play because they had plans to visit New Mexico. Sheila could give Bill Richardson tips on something. I don't know. Maybe she's a reincarnation of Cleopatra. I certainly hope she doesn't handle snakes on Sunday, but who knows. I don't.

Everyone knows Cristina S, or I think you should. Her resolution is an idea that might get her on the TV station with Oprah. Cristina has visited many off road and on road spots as a tourist. Actually she wears a big badge on her shirt that says, 'I'm a tourist.' She seems to think this gets her lower fare with local cab drivers, unless of course the driver speak no English. Well, Cristina noticed none of these places sold corn dogs on a stick. She wants to start selling corn dogs to the locals and other tourists to show what's truly valued by good rock solid American taste buds.

To few of you know Rita B. She is the aviation genius of one section of Idaho and that ain't small potatoes. She patrols the skies in her Fifth Dimension balloon, has a network of bulls wearing cell phones because she is vigilant in watching that Hockey fans have their own skates when they cross the border. Her resolution is also a business idea. To help the Green Movement, she wants to convince school districts to scrap their school buses and instead hire her (Rita) to take the kiddies to and from school.

Kathryn E, you might expect she is a woman just because a man is more likely to be named Sue, or Bob. Kathryn of course loves her camera to the point that some believe she learned about the camera from the time she spent taking Japanese tourists to Photo developing Kiosks when she was practicing good public relations as a teenager. Kathryn E, like most Habs Hockey fans in Utah, is daily concerned with her hair and how other women react to how her hair looks. (I hope most of the ladies realize men often look elsewhere). Well, Kathryn E has catalogued a long history of ladies having bad hair days in the city in Utah where she lives. She wants to take these photographs and make a coffee table book full of all of her friends. I'm a male, so I don't understand why women would like to see a book with photographs of them having a bad hair day. I'll never understand women.