by Umar, Abu Nurain
Member since:
February 25, 2007

Dad's Ring

January 12, 2008 09:47 PM EST
views: 65 | rating: 9.8/10 (23 votes) | comments: 38

 

Dad's ring:

death makes heirlooms

from everyday effects.

Possessions crammed with his aura;

a fingertip caresses gold and gems

as his dad, reveling, had done

seeing sons as men now

hands prepared for

Dad's ring.

link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 38

Spencer T. Jan 12, 2008, 9:52pm EST
Beautiful, sir. Can relate to it. I received a watch from my dad after he passed na discovered it had been passed down from a great grand father. Only a new band made it look modern but highly appreciated.
P.W. Dowdy Jan 12, 2008, 10:17pm EST
I am won over by the strength here. Thank you.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 12, 2008, 10:27pm EST
Spencer: I know what you mean. Somehow those things seemed imbued with something of their owner's being.

Thank You PW. I didn't think of it that way but I see it now.
Alison H. Jan 13, 2008, 12:06am EST
That is very poignant, Umar. I like it very much.
James Folk Jan 13, 2008, 12:23am EST
My Dad gave me a ring long before he died, and it always takes me back to him, especially now that he's gone. Thanks for the poem; it made me think of him again.
flit . Jan 13, 2008, 12:23am EST
I am really liking this form
Jim Ross Jan 13, 2008, 12:55am EST
Dad's gift of the ruby ring rides my left pinkie, Umar, and it is a rare moment when it's not there. You've caught this rite of passage at the precise moment when the past and future merge in a flush of emotion that lasts a lifetime. Beautiful.
Kamran Qureshi Jan 13, 2008, 1:44am EST
Hey Umar:) - Sad but true...I guess all of us can relate to it. Very well captured in rictamter.
Marianne M. Jan 13, 2008, 11:56am EST
Umar!
This is beautiful! My husband was given his father's ring at the funeral. It's a moment I will always remember and cherish. You have expressed the keen sadness we all felt that day. And now my husband is never without it. It's his last tangible link with the man he dearly loved.
John F Walter Jan 13, 2008, 12:04pm EST
This is the most moving use of the rictameter I ´ve seen on Gather yet.
Barbary Chaapel Jan 13, 2008, 2:14pm EST
This is very touching, Umar. We have a railroader's pocket watch hanging in our bedroom. I can even remember that it is stopped at 10 AM and always wonder about that. So you see, you've succeeded in bringing memory's light to your readers.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:20pm EST
Thanks Michelle, Marianne, and Alison! I'm glad you like it.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:22pm EST
James: happy to oblige. I'm glad I brought something of your dad to mind.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:22pm EST
Jim: You know I started to use ruby in the description. Having read your comment, I now wish I had!
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:23pm EST
John: That's quite high praise and I thank you.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:24pm EST
Kamran and Reena: I'm pleased that I pleased you!
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:26pm EST
Marianne: Relics are powerful. They can convey something of the person who left it to us, sometimes just when we need it.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 13, 2008, 3:27pm EST
Barbary: Just imagine what that watch has witnessed. Thanks for sharing this!
James Ciriaco Jan 14, 2008, 12:01pm EST
The doubled caress is a graceful touch, Umar. It enacts what the heirloom is: a sort of temporal fetish that juxtaposes disparate moments and lives. It is part of the magic of poetry-- as of the fetish and thence the heirloom-- that you can make the father's touch and the son's exist at once for your reader. Form and theme are in harmony here; your verse, and the ring that you've taken as your subject, both briefly conquer time.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 14, 2008, 12:21pm EST
Thank you James for your words of praise. You are spot on about the temporal fetish.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 14, 2008, 1:33pm EST
Lyla: Well, I'm not sure about that and I hope he has better things to do than breathe on my neck!
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 16, 2008, 11:27pm EST
Thank you Liz. Simplicity is sometimes a difficult thing to convey. Your comments are uplifting.
Rima S. Jan 17, 2008, 4:56pm EST
well..you've done it again Umar..Your poem is simple yet deep and straight to the point..well written!!
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 17, 2008, 9:04pm EST
Thanks Rima!

Amy! Welcome! Good to see you again. Hope all is well with family and school!
John Harris Beck Jan 20, 2008, 10:46pm EST
Nice how this form closes the circle on its own subject.
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 21, 2008, 10:37am EST
Yes. I love its circularity.
Edward Nudelman Jan 21, 2008, 8:08pm EST
equisite poem Umar, as the relic is brought forth into meaning, so the memory in the passing and the passing down. Lovely flow, "seeing sons as men now." Terrific
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 21, 2008, 8:18pm EST
Thank you Ed. Glad you shared this!
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Jan 23, 2008, 2:16pm EST
lovely Umar...
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 23, 2008, 6:35pm EST
Thanks Bhawana
K.L.B Da'Vir Jan 25, 2008, 12:17pm EST
Not knowing my father this poem saddened me but in a good way...Thank you Umar...great poem
Umar, Abu Nurain Jan 25, 2008, 1:43pm EST
K..L.B.:

Thank you. Perhaps if or when you're a dad, you can experience it from the other end.

Peace.
Marge H. Feb 5, 2008, 4:19pm EST
An amazing and complete story of life and love told within the constraints of the rictameter. An incredible job!
Umar, Abu Nurain Feb 5, 2008, 7:13pm EST
Thank you Marge for your comment and your acceptance of my offer!
t b. Feb 5, 2008, 11:39pm EST
I understand this piece, as I am the one in our family who relishes things from loved ones passed. I have taken to keeping the perfume of the women on my dressing table. Breathing in the scent from time to time, places them not only dear to my heart but also near.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Feb 7, 2008, 6:09pm EST
Revisited and reread....one of the finest sentiments...
Mustafa Demiri Sep 20, 2009, 12:18am EDT
How my heart would rise and sing,
the day my son can wear my ring....

Beautiful, Umar... I think of myself in both roles when I read this... the son that I was, and the father that I am. Very well done, my friend.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16865, "Oz"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.