I have a very dear friend. We are so different in many ways but we are so alike in many ways as well. We have different religions. These religions are very different. We were raised differently. She has only one brother and they are 14 years apart. I come from a large family. She was raised in the city all her life. I was raised in the country all my life. She is 6 years older than I am. The differences are many but we are so very close.
We do not argue about our believes and differences. We do not ignore them either. We discuss them openly and with respect to each other, we learn and grow together. I have learned so much from her and she says she has learned a lot from me. She is probably my best - female friend.
We have agreed to disagree and yet we discuss our differing opinions. They seem to draw us closer together instead of farther apart. I gain more respect for her the better I get to know her. I still do not agree with her believes but that does not matter to me or to her. I value her opinion.
On Gather, some people think that if they do not agree with someone, they have to "dislike" them. I don't understand this way of thinking but we are all different. There are very few things that I debate on gather because everyone seems to get upset if you don't think the way they do. You have to agree with them or you are "Wrong".
If we all agreed with everyone else, there would be no need for elections, different religions or even different styles of clothes. I personally value my individuality. I value the fact that I can have my opinion and can share it. I value my freedom.
Recently I was told that I was "narrow minded with tunnel vision" by a gather member. They did not like the fact that I offered my opinion and it was against their opinions. For some reason, I have been bothered by this comment very much this evening. I don't know why. Things do not usually bother me like this. Even though I am bothered by it, I still respect the persons right to be able to say whatever they want. Their opinions are still important. I feel no hard feelings toward this person.
Life is full of ups and downs. I guess I am just feeling down so things bother me more tonight. Do you ever get bothered by other peoples opinion of you when it is negative?
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Comments: 23
I dont think there is one among us who hasnt been attacked. Its usually the nice ones that this happens to. Look, at this way, maybe the person who said, this to you, wasnt raised any better... But you were....
A few years ago, on a Sunday, two nicely dressed gentlemen who are dedicated Jehovah's Witnesses appeared at my garden gate. I was caught off-guard and had no opportunity to collect my garden gear and the dog and dash inside the house to escape. (The usual reaction of many folks.) They introduced themselves, gave me a few lovely compliments on my garden and began to share their points on faith to me.
Within moments, (and when it was my turn to talk) I explained to them that they and I do not share the same views, opinions or beliefs about how to worship or express our faith (or lack thereof). But our conversation did meet a common ground ~ respect.
Hal and Micah continue to visit me about every 6-to-8 weeks; always on a Sunday. We talk about my garden. We talk about the Bible. And we talk about respect and friendship. We've become friends that have very different opinions about a very fundamental part of every-day life. And it works.
I've taken a few hits from a fellow gather member, too, Connie. The source of those inflictions have always from the same person. This person has a cunning ability to cut to the bone with words. This person is bright and expresses him/her self intelligently ~ until the opposition of opinion happens. One of these days, his/her knife is going slip and he/she will be the wounded one. In the meantime, put a band-aid on your injured pride, Connie. You'll heal. When this person goes down, it's going to be a terrible fall. Ironically, it will be those of us with respect enough for our fellow man to help him/her get up.
You're a better person for it.
Nah, I usually channel all my energy into finding out what is wrong with them. ;)
My husband and I are completely different, from different cultures etc., and there are so many things we don't agree on. We have learned to respect each other's opinions, and when we discuss there always comes a point, where one of us steps back and let it go. There is no way we can agree on everything, but with respect for each other people who disagree can come a long way.
I hope writing this down helps you feel a bit better about the comment.
Don't let it zap any more of your energy - you are an amazing woman and a terrific Gather friend! (Who is entitled to respect for every opinion. Sad that not everyone can appreciate different point of views for what they are.)
Thank you for your opinions and your thoughts on this matter. I am going to go ahead and leave this article up for another day or two in case someone else is feeling "down" as a result of someone else.
Thank you for lifing my Spirits and thoughts today. You are truely amazing people!
It's exactly the "you don't agree with me so you're wrong" attitude that I simply don't get.
There have been a few people that I really wanted to take back to 2nd grade (I think it was) where the children are taught the difference between fact and opinion.
Just because something is so very true for you, even so true that it is an absorbing passion, it does not mean it will be true for everyone in the world.
I can listen to someone's differing opinion, understand it, yet not agree.
As in the nature of people, many here have very different opnions, does that mean If I do not agree with someone that I have to disconnect from them? No, that would be shallow on my part.
When people often don't agree with each other words are used both to defend & in defense. Often as in your case these words can hurt.
I do wish here people would think & then type a comment...
Why is it that I can forget a positive comment within minutes, but a negative one can make me lose sleep? I hate that! I find myself trying to explain myself over and over again in my head or if it was a conversation, analyzing it to see where I went wrong.
Sometimes I realize that with places like Gather, it is impossible for them to know all of the factors going on in a situation or that the words just don't come out right. That helps:)
Thanks for you imput.
Elaine,
I guess there are more of us in this boat than I thought.
Vikki,
I totally agree. It is when my opinion has differed from someone else that I have learned the most. I have found that keeping an open mind is the key though.
Kim,
I am sorry if someone has been cruel with you too.
Karen,
We were taught at home and at school that opinions are valuable and much needed for society and home life to exist in a normal manner.