WWJV- Who Would Jesus Vote'fr

After living undisputedly with the Republican party for the past 2 decades, Jesus Christ finds himself stuck in the middle of a bitter custody battle between the GOP and the born again Democratic party.  With over 80% of Americans identifying themselves as Christian, and with the Roman Catholic John F. Kennedy, as the only U.S. president to come from a family with no Protestant affiliations, the Dems have finally realized that any candidate who wants to have a chance to rent out a bedroom for thousands of dollars a night, in their new Pennsylvania Avenue home, must be seen by the American people as a good Christian.  In what may be the most progressive race ever, 2008 could produce our nation’s first African-American, Female, or Mormon commander in chief, but there is no chance that our next president will worship Allah, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Tom Cruise, or any other non-sandal wearing deity.

In the 2000 and 2004 elections, George W. Bush, a born again Methodist, repeatedly invoked the theme of “Christian values” and received strong support from the evangelical faiths, even though the specific values that he represented were never made clear.  His defeated opponents included the Roman Catholic John Kerry, and the Jewish V.P. candidate, Joseph Lieberman.  Now, I would never say that Al Gore’s 2000 defeat was a result of choosing a Jewish running mate, rather than the result of having a personality that could make a coked up Richard Simmons fall asleep, but I will say that in a country that is overwhelmingly Christian, the son of god may be the ultimate swing voter. 

The Christian right, once the backbone of the GOP, is dissatisfied with Republican front runners like the twice divorced, pro choice Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompsan who is soft against gay marriage and Mitt Romney who, while being very religious, is unfortunately the wrong kind of Christian (Mormon) to gain large evangelical support, leaving Christian voters looking for a candidate to represent them. This has opened the door for the Democrats to start wooing this once off limits demographic, despite repulsing the Christian right on issues like Gay marriage, abortion and prayer in school, and it is why the campaign trail is suddenly sounding like a revival meeting. 

Democrat, Barack Obama, has embarked on a “40 days of Faith and Family” tour, during which he has already expressed the hope that he, “can be an instrument of God” and “create a kingdom right here on earth”.  While, Republican candidate, John McCain has stated that the U.S. “was founded primarily on Christian principles” and that he would prefer a president with “a solid grounding in my faith”.  This new discourse, where religion may be discussed as often as healthcare reform, could be a good thing if it focuses candidates on the moral responsibilities of the president.  I tend to doubt, however, that this appeal to values is anything other than lip service to a targeted voting block.  Hopefully, I am wrong.