4 JOKES

Census Taker
An elderly man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.

"What are you selling young man?" he asked.

"I'm not selling anything," the young man said. I'm a census taker."

"A what?" the older man asked.

"A census taker... We are trying to find out how many people are in this country."

"Well," the man answered. "You're wasting your time with me, I have no idea."
=================================================================
 Joke About children

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
=============================================
Government Joke

A man bought a ticket and won the State lottery. He went to the State Capital to claim his prize and the clerk verified his ticket number.

The winner said, "I want my $20 million."

The clerk replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The man began to get upset and said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the clerk tried to explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The redneck, furious with the clerk, screamed out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

==============================================
 marriage Joke

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.

The husband responded, "When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions."

At which point the wife took up the tale, "And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision."