by Briane P.
Member since:
January 12, 2007

Why Wouldn't You Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby?

November 06, 2007 09:47 AM EST
views: 73 | comments: 38

Sweetie and I a year ago had our twin boys, and at the first ultrasound when they could tell the babies' sex, the tech asked us if we wanted to know what the babies were.  We told her "of course" because if you have to buy two of everything, you don't want to get a bunch of useless stuff.

 Now I've got a friend whose wife is pregnant and I asked if they know yet if it's a boy or a girl.  He said "no" and added that they probably would not want to know because they want it to be a surprise.

 So here's what I'm thinking:  Isn't it a surprise no matter when you find out?  Whether they tell you at an ultrasound, or in the delivery room, or when you enroll your kid in third grade, it's a surprise to you.  (Well, maybe not that last one.) 

 

I can't imagine not wanting to know as soon as possible.  But what do you think?

 

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Comments: 38

John L. Nov 6, 2007, 9:55am EST
The general rule I found was that if they could pee on you while you were changing their diapers....they were boys.
Kimberly Ripley Nov 6, 2007, 9:59am EST
I had mixed feelings when I was carrying my children. Of course with the first three we had no such options. The last two I found out due to medical complications, and certainly was no less surprised and happy.
Lune Wolfsong Nov 6, 2007, 10:01am EST
I always wanted to know. As you said, it's a surprise whenever you find out. My middle child was uncooperative though, and didn't show them in the ultrasounds, we didn't find out until the day he was born.
Lynn R. Nov 6, 2007, 10:03am EST
I came from the old school when they wouldn't tell you the sex of the babies. We didn't know either of ours until 'the day'. After thinking about this over the years when they started letting you know, I kind of have to agree with your friend. I loved when the doctor said "It's a girl" (both times). I know everyone has to know as early as possible nowadays but if I had it to do over, I still think I'd wait for the doctor to announce it. :)
Μόףףý ● ķ ~ Nov 6, 2007, 10:04am EST
I think it takes all the fun out of it to know in advance....nothing is natural anymore.
Carla B. Nov 6, 2007, 10:11am EST
I'm with you on this one. I wanted to know right away with my child. He almost didn't cooperate with the ultrasound technician, but then when she was about to give up, he did. I was happy.

It made it a lot easier to get everything ready for him. I have two nieces, the youngest one is only 15 months older than my son. My sister wanted to know what we were having so she would know what all she could send to us. Since we live so far apart, it would have been a huge waste of postage to send a bunch of little girl things that we wouldn't have been able to use.
LaRue B. Nov 6, 2007, 10:18am EST
I'm from the old school, like before you could find those things out. It still seems a little invasive to know too much. I love the element of surprise. I don't want to know what's in my present until the wrapping come off.
However, I can see some of the benefits of knowing, like decorating the nursery and buying clothing. I believe in doing things in the generic until I'm sure.
John M. Nov 6, 2007, 10:20am EST
It's a conspiracy of the kid clothes industry. Why not just make things gender neutral at the smallest sizes. Why is there this pressure to pinkify infants if they are female and blueify them if they are male? There are many other colors in the rainbow, many of which make fine choices for outfits.
Μόףףý ● ķ ~ Nov 6, 2007, 10:28am EST
John, that's why they make a lot of things in light minty green and yellow..they're gender neutral - or you can choose from primary colors.
John M. Nov 6, 2007, 10:38am EST
Well then why do people keep saying they need to know the sex of the baby in order to buy clothes for it? People really seem to have a high need to buy correctly sexed clothes for the babies in thier lives. Because we are able to know the sex, we are to believe that we should know the sex--almost that we are obligated to do so. But it's really a made up issue, I think.
Briane P. Nov 6, 2007, 10:38am EST
I think the word "Blueify" is my new word of the day!
JoAnne D. Nov 6, 2007, 10:41am EST
I'm a bit undecided on this one but I think if they know I want to know. It would make decorating the nursery and buying the layette a lot easier.
John M. Nov 6, 2007, 10:44am EST
Can I call you that from now on Melinda? ;)
Michelle W. Nov 6, 2007, 11:02am EST
I didn't want to know the sex of my kids until they were born. I got girls both times. All I really cared about was having healthy happy babies. Of course back in the 80s it was easier to find neutral baby items. Now it seems you either buy girl or boy stuff.
Kathy D. Nov 6, 2007, 11:04am EST
We wanted to know, but we didn't tell anyone the sex until the baby shower.
Kori J. Nov 6, 2007, 11:09am EST
With my first two, I had NO idea whatsoever, and didn't have ultrasounds; one was a girl, and while I can't say I was surprised (because I had felt like she was a girl all long), it was neat to have that little moment of anticipation. With the next one, I had no idea at all that he was a boy, and was also pleasantly surprised. With Sam, I also had no idea, but with Owen, we knew he was a boy. Not necessarily by choice; I had some early bleeding and they monitered me very, very carefull, so during one of the ultrasounds, he was showing off and it was obvious to ALL of us that he had a penis! So-if I ever have another one, if it is obvious what it is, I wouldn't mind knowing, but I wouldn't go out of my way to find out. It never was THAT important for me.
Brian T. Nov 6, 2007, 11:23am EST
I wouldn't want to know the sex of my baby, the only thing I would want to know if the kid was healthy. Other than that I would prefer not to know.
nancy h. Nov 6, 2007, 11:42am EST
I knew in the middle of all three pregnancies without ultrasound. It was just a feeling I had. And if I didn't already "know" in advance I think I'd just as soon be surprised. The newborn doesn't care what color s/he is wearing anyway.
Heather W. Nov 6, 2007, 12:01pm EST
I didn't want to know when I was pregnant. I thought it would be much more fun to be surprised. I just wanted a healthy baby.
Tab B. Nov 6, 2007, 1:00pm EST
We didn't want to find out with our first two. But we chose to with the rest of them. So glad we did find out. Makes it easier for shopping and preparing. Especially when the ultrasound show better images than they once did and are not so iffy about it.
Tab B. Nov 6, 2007, 1:01pm EST
The surprise is good enough just in finding out we're expecting, so it's only an additional surprise when we know what the sex is!
lol....Me, personally, I wouldn't want to know until I gave birth. But since that ain't never going to happen, it's not something I need to worry about lol
Marie L. Nov 6, 2007, 2:55pm EST
We have friends who haven't wanted to find out and that's fine but for myself I couldn't have handled waiting that long to know :-) I have no patience!
Nancy S. Nov 6, 2007, 3:28pm EST
I didn't have a choice and it wouldn't have mattered anyway. My son was told they were having a boy & it was a girl.
Jerri H. Nov 6, 2007, 4:47pm EST
I would want to know :) And I did :)
Aubrey :) Nov 6, 2007, 5:31pm EST
I found out what mine where but I know some that waited like my sister.
Aubrey :) Nov 6, 2007, 5:32pm EST
I can't imagine waiting but it would be a big surprise if you did. Think about it. Your excited that you finally get to see your baby and then you find out it's a boy or girl that has to be a even more exciting thing.
donna h. Nov 6, 2007, 8:52pm EST
I want to be surprised
whitney w. Nov 6, 2007, 11:25pm EST
i agree. its a surprise any time you find out the gender. why not find out sooner?
Briane: This is one where I cannot help you, except through imagination and/or he said/she said.

Imagination? Whatever comes, comes -- that is what was meant to be, but I suspect the parents already FEEL it, don't they? Or not?

he said/she said: most of those I know have said they just what health. one young woman on Gather currently pregnant wants a girl.

To each and all, may they have it exactly as they desire!!! Just keep on having them; I LOVE them!
. . .and yours are beautiful! Resembles Mom or Dad? or a mixture of both?
Heidianna "Coriander" T. Nov 9, 2007, 6:22am EST
I would want to know asap! But, I'm curious like that. Maybe they want to have the ultimate BIG surprise, an even more dramatic entry of their child!
Susan Budig Nov 9, 2007, 2:35pm EST
I didn't want to know. I love that anticipation that goes along with pregnancy. I loved being able to feel all that kicking and just sit in reverie contemplating the potential of the baby-to-be. Once the gender is known, regardless of what the pc crowd says, one starts to put parameters on who that baby will be.

I like the ambiguity and wonder of the unknown. It's such a rare experience that I wanted to relish it when I could.
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Nov 10, 2007, 12:37pm EST
I've had three kids. I never knew with any of my three what they were going to be. The reason why people lik eto be surprised is sometimes the doctors are wrong......The could say you are having a girl and than turns out to be a boy. I have seen it happen. Now how would you like to spend all kinds of money on pink and purple stuff then when the baby was born to end up having a boy instead? Lets just say......it is a big oops! But a big let down if you were expecting the opposite.
Danielle P. Nov 14, 2007, 3:12pm EST
I wanted to know for planning purposes. I did not find out with my first. They didn't offer me an ultrasound and I did find out with my last two. Girl first and two boys after. I'm glad I found out.
Rebecca Winters Feb 29, 2008, 9:55am EST
Some people have an objection to the ultrasound and feel that it might be harmful. This is one reason why someone would choose not to know.

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