by Kristina B.
Member since:
January 12, 2008

A DIVIDED HEART (100 Word Stories non-challenge)

March 18, 2008 09:21 AM EDT (Updated: March 18, 2008 09:22 AM EDT)
views: 48 | rating: 10/10 (16 votes) | comments: 21
 

He looks at her confused, why does she have to be so difficult.  All he ever asked for is her undivided attention, her passionate promise that she loves no one more than him. 

What do those children give her?  Do they work hard to give her every material thing?  No, they make her perfectly crazy; they run her ragged and leave her too tired to accommodate his needs at the end of the day. 

Why is she crying... again?  His face a stone tablet of resentment. 

Her children... someday they'll be gone, then she'll see, then he will be happy.

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Comments: 21

Jim Ross Mar 18, 2008, 9:48am EDT
Sad situation, Kristina, excellently presented in your 100 worder. Good job.
Kristina B. Mar 18, 2008, 9:55am EDT
Thanks Jim it means a lot.
Barbra L. Mar 18, 2008, 12:56pm EDT
You've excellently written of a situation that is all to commomplace, Kristina. I like the oxymoron and alliteration you chose to use, and could easily envision his stone tablet face; as well as all that had led up to that moment.
Parul S. Mar 18, 2008, 3:50pm EDT
A hubby's voice...who loves her too much to share her...? did i get it right?
Kristina B. Mar 18, 2008, 4:55pm EDT
If he loved her he wouldn't resent her children. He would understand that love is a many faceted emotion, a mother's heart is big enough to accomodate all the people in her life. He would have the ability to see in the not to far off future (they are already middle aged) that their life together will go on for many years hence and all he needs is patience, patience that would leave her feeling she owes him "the sweetest of debts." Alas, tis not to be and they are slowly becoming the silent couple that Tinch has so intuitively described.

Thanks guys

Kristina-witha-K
Alison Pearce Mar 18, 2008, 7:02pm EDT
Very touching and well written drabble
Kate Keeley Mar 18, 2008, 7:34pm EDT
You capture the loneliness of togetherness only too well.
Marge H. Mar 18, 2008, 8:47pm EDT
Sadly, there are men who are that selfish and controlling. Excellent writing.
Kristina B. Mar 18, 2008, 10:14pm EDT
Thanks all........
Curt L. Mar 18, 2008, 10:32pm EDT
Awesome! Gotta be a 10!
Anita R. Mar 18, 2008, 11:05pm EDT
Nice drabble, lots of raw emotion here, and well put together.
Ann R. Mar 18, 2008, 11:47pm EDT
I doubt he'll grow up as fast as they kids will. Very well portrayed predicament.
Ruthe M. Mar 19, 2008, 4:22pm EDT
Wonderful expression of emotion in this drabble, Kristina. It is said, that some men get jealous when children come into the picture. Then there are those, that cannot or find it difficult to bond with step children. It becomes almost a competition.
Kristina B. Mar 20, 2008, 8:47am EDT
That is exactly what it is Ruthe, a competition for my affection. Understandable from a child completely baffling from an adult. Thanks to all.....
Lynn Doiron Mar 20, 2008, 10:37am EDT
Had to had to had to tell you how much this story worked for me. Great personification of both through the pov of one pity-me sorta man. And it's as if he will never learn, never get it, in this short. You made me care about her, turn away in disgust from him -- great write.
Susan B. Mar 20, 2008, 5:11pm EDT
Well written!
Wanda H. Mar 20, 2008, 9:34pm EDT
What he misses when 'all he asks is all of her' he will never know. That is the true sadness of this, that he will never know. She has so much to give and he can't accept his share. So sad.
namaste
Mary Z. Mar 21, 2008, 1:54pm EDT
Too bad he will never get it and is creating his own misery. Terrific drabble, Kristina. Well done!

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