Something to ponder

NO....I want them to do everything possible to keep me going. But then again, I'm young and stupid so it may change when I get older.

This is difficult, since my mother-in-law had one, and the assisted living place didn't have a copy, so she was brought back. Hung on, in a horrible state (Alzheimer's and less than 20% kidney function) for 10 days. I think I'll want one, and be specific. Don't leave your kids or spouse guessing. That was the worst part.

I don't think I would want a DNR because after they revived me I would still have the terminal illness to deal with and I wouldn't want to go through all the pain and suffering again.

I have to think about this because I have no clue. If there were a chance to save me, I'd want them to take it, but I wouldn't want to live like a vegetable or in a coma. This is something to ponder.

Yes, I would do that. I had surgery earlier this year and signed a temporary DNR order. I don't want to vegetate or make my family wait for that. My parents both have living wills that specify that, and I am grateful to them for making their wishes clear so that we don't have to.

I would want a do not resuscitate order. My father's two greatest fears were being put in a nursing home and living as a vegetable hooked up to a machine. This was long before such things as DNR orders. Fortunately it was also a military hospital. He made me swear on the pain of him coming back and haunting me the rest of my days that I would never let it happen. I made the promise, and when the time came, I kept it.

When he had his final stroke the doctors told me he was brain dead. This was just a few days before Christmas. They had him on one of the "machines" to keep his body alive, though they couldn't tell me why they wanted to if he was brain dead. I ordered the machine removed. They did so and my dad passed on. I do not feel the slightest bit of guilt nor do I feel as if I did something wrong.

My daughter knows that if I am in that situation, unless they can assure her there is a better than even chance I will come out of whatever it is and be able to lead a decent life, she is to let me go. Life as an unconscious vegetable isn't life. It's existence.

You guys are posting some very good things to think about. Appreciate your comments and Kathleen thanks for the don't leave people hanging thing. FYI my dad did not want one. He signed the papers while in the hospital not too. He had lung cancer.

I don't want to be resuscitated, I wouldn't want to put my family through it... especially if terminally ill. I feel it would be cruel to them and to me. It would give them a false hope if I were brought back and then they would suffer the emotions of watching me die anyway. My grandmother died with terminal cancer in 1980. She had melonoma and did not know any of her family when she was dying. They brought her back and she started crying saying "I want my mommy.... just let me go!" We all wept.... I am crying again as I recall it...

When we were in the ER, a nurse gave me this tidbit...NOT ADVICE! She said she had a family member in ICU, and it's hard to get them out of there. ICU is a place where they do EVERYTHING for you. My mom-in-law did NOT want dialysis and if we put her in ICU, they would want to do that to her. That little nugget of knowledge helped make our decision.

This is a difficult thing. It would depend on the situation and what it is I was dying of.

Hope this helps, Lora. It's fresh, she died in Mya nd my husband stilll struggles with our decision. Our pastor said, we were "letting" her die. I agree. It's never easy.

I've worked with the terminally ill and no way when it's time I'm a going

This is a great line of conversation, and very interesting. I would also point out that any of your wishes after death have to be in writing. And many also depend on the people who will be making decisions for you. I have signed an organ donor card and told my family that I want my organs donated if something should happen to me. This is a very difficult situation for my mom, since she'd be the one making that decision right now. In Judaism, the body is supposed to be whole and go into the ground the same way it came into the world. I don't know if she would carry out my wishes or not, but at least I know I've told her what I want.

DNR for me please and sorry to hear about your father, Lora.

When my Mother was in the process of leaving, I filled out a DNR for her as her guardian. It was a good thing tha I did because it stopped them from doing a lot of unnecessary things including at one point they wanted to force feed her through a stomach tube. The truth is that she could eat but just wanted to go. I tried to let her have as much dignity as possible and follow her wishes.

I do wish that everyone would do this paperwork and also burial wishes in advance. It was very hard on me to make decisions for her.

Great question Lora. I have to agree with most, DNR if there's nothing more they can do to insure the quality of my life. I don't want to have my family suffer over and over again. It's difficult enough to watch a loved one go downhill that has a terminal illness and it's much easier and guilt free to know what your family member wanted and abide by their wishes. So, yep, I will have one when the time comes. ;)

DNR for me.

thanks for the condolences on my dad

Lora - I am so very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.

I believe in miracles and Divine Healing. I believe in God's will...so regardless of a DNR or not - if He is calling me home I don't believe that it would matter.

I am not sure if I would want one or not. Proberly not. I am so sorry about your father.

Sorry about your Dad. My father signed paperwork so he was in my hands medically. My sister was unaware and probably still is. Since I was living near him and taking care of him, I became his health care surrogate. When I told her to fly out he was dying, all involved would ask who I was but I sat back as she took over. I had the bottom line but he began to die amidst discussions of him going into hospice. She tried to delay the decision for 2 weeks or more. It was a two day decision and I had already made it, I was trying to steer her towards it. When he first arrived to the hospital after he had a massive stroke on both sides of the frontal lobes, I made the decision to not let them put a feeding tube in. He had an IV. He had leukemia, liver failure and diabetes. He was in my care 24/7 and had signed a dnr years before.. He really was gone once he had the stroke. There was nothing that they could do. He was bleeding out his skin. He died about 48 hours after the stroke.He had just had his 80 birthday and had come into my care as he was dying. It was just a matter of time. I was fortunate that he went peacefully as I held his hand and told him I loved him.

Sometimes the doctors are wrong. Sometimes miracles happen. For me, I'm 53 and I don't want my family to suffer watching me on machines delaying my death. Give me a shot, and if it doesn't work out, see you in eternity.

very good question, I haven't decided, i guess I will wait until I am terminally ill and see how I feel about the issue at that time.

If I were terminally ill, or under any other circumstance, I would not want to be kept alive by a machine, with no quality of life. It's a different story if I need oxygen, atleast I'm still mobile, but to lie in the hospital ALIVE but not living would be torture for me!!

Yes, give me the dNR. Now, when it comes to my husband or sister or parents, it's a different story...

not sure

My fahter died in 98 and he had left no wishes in his will and so it was up to my mom, sister and I. He had a stroke but was still alert and movement on one side but had paralysis in his throat and so we made the deicision for a feeding tube but after the surgery, he never really came out , really went into a coma(we think he had another stroke even though doc says it was from frist stroke) and died 10 days later. I guess we should not have agreed to the feeding tube but at the time he was alert and they were doing therapy for his leg and arm. They actually asked though if we wanted dialysis on him after the surgery and we asked if that would do anything for him being in the coma and he said no, then we said, No, no dialysis.

It depends on the illness.

Good question Lora. I could write so much about it because I am a pastor and I made the DNR decision for both my parents. I know I made the right decisions but it is a sad responsibility. I told my sons my wishes for a DNR and the circumstances when to do DNR. I'm sorry about your dad and it does hurt doesn't it?

I'm sorry for your loss, Lora. It is hard, even though I have both of my parents, I've watched my husband lose both of his. I'd like to go quick, but, I think I'd want one, just to keep my boys from guessing.