Neurocardiogenic Syncope and a return!

Have I ever told you how much I hate big words? I can use them, but I find they are often pretentious (good example there) and just plain annoying. Of course, part of the reason for that is that I often deal with “special needs” people. Labels is the other thing that really drives me nuts. All too often these days we are stuck with a label somebody put on us, and it can make our life a living hell.

I am now among those with a medical label. Now, as with everything else, I couldn’t get a run of the mill, everyday label. No, diabetic, epileptic, or even psychotic (although, there are those who are still pushing for this one) aren’t good enough for me. I have a medical label that is it’s own sentence. I have Neurocardiogenic Syncope with some postural hypo-tension and acute vasodepressor syndrome. Personally, I have gone back to wishing it WAS all in my head. What does all of that mean? I am not a doctor, so I don’t want to even try to explain it, and they supposedly explained it to me. Frankly, I am still wondering if they should be allowed to talk to me that way! I do know that syncope is basically passing out. The word before syncope usually describes what can cause the passing out. I have neurological and cardiological reasons for passing out. Basically, neurological sensors that are supposed to control my heart rate and blood pressure, keeping it steady whenever I move around, stopped working. I think it is easier explained by this paper I found on WebMD by WebMD Medical News released on Dec 15, 1999 (Baltimore). It is on a study for people with fainting spells and driving done by Atul Bhatia, MD, a fellow in cardioelectrophysiology at the University of Wisconsin in Madison and lead author of a paper on syncope and driving.

“Neurocardiogenic syncope occurs when blood flow to the brain is decreased due to reduced blood flow from the heart and falling blood pressure. The exact cause is often unknown and syncope can occur with little forewarning. Therefore, physicians have traditionally discouraged patients with this type of syncope from driving.

The condition can be diagnosed by use of a tilt-table test. During this test, patients lie flat on a table that is put into various positions, and patients are monitored to see whether they experience feelings of faintness or have abnormal changes in blood pressure and heart rate with the changing position of the table.”

Now in my case, they tell me what they suspect causes it. Since I was born premature, they suspect that the sensors never really developed completely, thus gave out long before their “time“. Since the syncope can not be controlled by medication because of the total malfunction of the sensors, then I am no longer able to maintain my job as a machine operator. My employer, the US Census Bureau, is currently trying to determine if I would be able to safely perform any tasks at the grade 6 level on the installation. Even though we have more “sit down” jobs then any other type of job, most do require some mobility, and the problem comes in with the layout of the installation. Most jobs require some type of retrieving and returning of materials in use, or more schooling than I have. Even those jobs have been called into question by my second line supervisor in that I would still have to get around any area to retrieve things, and that is more walking than I need to be doing, and nobody wants me confined to a wheelchair, when I am able to walk. This all adds up to one thing. Of course, it is the same problem we all run into with the government. WAITING. I have applied for disability retirement, and social security disability. Most of us know the process that goes with social security, and what a LONG drawn out hassle that can be. Trying to get disability retirement through a government employer is not much faster. Social Security told me that I will not hear anything further for about 6 months, while my employer has told me it would be at least 3 months before I get any notification, and that is from the date that all my paperwork is submitted.

I would hate to be facing this with no hope, and no family and friends. I am so grateful that I have God in my life to help me through times like these, and he has sent me some of the best friends in the world to listen and share and let me know I am not alone. I have to say that my friends and family have been fairly awesome for the most part, but my Gather friends have been so amazing. Between prayers and poetry, I have been reminded of my strength and faith on a regular basis here. We have some of the most awesome writers, and inspirations I have ever known, and I am just so very glad that I have become a member of this wonderful community!

I recently sent out letters telling many people that I would be absent from Gather for an indefinite amount of time. I admit, I was truly dreading this, because Gather is my people connection a lot of the time. Here I can pray, rejoice, work through my sadness, and just reach people. We only have one car working at the moment, and my son and daughter both have jobs to attend. Needless to say, the two ladies in the house who do not drive, or cannot drive, are often stuck at home most days with nothing more than regular television ( and there are days I REALLY miss cable, LOL) and our pets. Gather is such a blessing to me, especially when schedules keep me from even being able to attend church on Sunday. I can still find devotions (thank you Tara!) and prayer (thank you Heather) and songs & poems (thank you to many) and just plain fellowship (Norma dear!) to help me lift my thoughts to God, sometimes inspiring me to write something in return. I know that this label has caused me trouble already, as does the health issue that goes with it, but I am grateful for one thing, that God led me here. Thanks to God for being able to get back on the internet, and to his angels for their help, and to all the supportive people who sent me wonderful emails wishing me well, and telling me I would be missed if I left for a length of time. I will be typing quite a bit for the next few days still, because I have been asked to type up memories of Pleasant Grove for my grandmother, and get it to all of my aunts and uncles, but after that I will be right back to responding to your articles and pictures with all of the attention and time I have!

Thank you again for your response to my email, and I will be seeing all of my connections as soon as I can get back in the groove!