The Last Stay at Home Mom???

I think it's noble to stay at home with your kids! Keep up the good work!

Unfortunately you probably are getting to be a minority. Anymore it seems to take 2 incomes to keep a family afloat!

You definately are one of a kind. My wife stays home for the most part but teaches dance class at home on the weekends.

Not working??? I think you need to rephrase that:)

I am stay at home mom as well, and I really don't mind either....the only thing is that being a stay at home mom is a 24 hour job, so when my husband gets to rest after work, I am still going....

No, seriously I think it is becoming more difficult to survive on one income, and without all of my savings and internet earnings, we would not be able to make it.

I am the same. I stay at home, look around and see NO ONE else who does not work.
I have to wrack my brain to find a sitter when needed because everyone else works. Both my sister in laws that live close work full time to support their family.
I finally met and really talked to the neighbor girl who is 14 and seems fairly mature. I might hoodwink her into sitting an evening here and there. :)

Good for you! Your kids will appreciate it...someday! :)

I have the same problem with sitters, we just take the kids with us or we don't go.

Thanks for the comments everyone, I do feel like a minority. I volunteer a lot; the church, school, PTA, and a few other community service things I get hooked into. But nothing I get paid for.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost a year now and I'm definitely in the minority in my neighborhood. It's really hard on us financially, but we wanted Maddie to have the benefit of her mother's care. We give up A LOT.

I'm a stay at home mom and there are times that I think I'm going to have to go to work, then I add how much it would take for daycare and I change my mind. Sometimes I do feel like I'm being taken advantage of because I do not have a job. People who never call to talk will call when they need a favor. Most of the time I don't mind, but then sometimes it makes me angry.

I'm glad you are able to be a stay at home mom. You may be a dying breed, but I hope not. However, not all of us are cut out to be stay at home moms. I tried it and thought I would lose my mind. so i worked part time at times when my husband was ble to be there for our son. we did it for a long time until he started school and then still were fortunate to have one of us home after school. I was very grateful to the moms I leaned on when I needed to and I hope they never felt taken advantage of.

Yes financially it is hard. But your right by the time you pay a sitter and everything it isn't worth it. I'd rather be the one home to kiss them when they get hurt and tell them I love them whenever I want. There are just too many sacrifices I am not willing to make to have more money or better "stuff". So what if my truck is 7 years old and I don't wear designer clothes. I am loved and I feel good about my decision.

It's not that I feel taken advantage of, I just don't like it when they say ~JUST~ in that way that makes me feel insignificant. Like I am not capable of working or not good enough.

I am also a SAHM to my daughter who is 13months old.
Altho, dh recently got laid off of his good paying job, and just took a new one which pays a lot less, so I might have to find a part time job a few nights a week and maybe part time on the weekend for extra cash to pay bills.
He is also going to school online to finish his college degree so that will be hard, but neither of us wants to send our daughter to a sitter, I think she is so much happier because of the fact that she is home with me all day.
She is def. attached to me.

There def isn't anything better imo than staying home and raising my daughter, and I would much rather make a few sacrifices to my own life like wearing the same cloths and driving the same old car than to have to leave my daughter in the care of a stranger who will not give her the attention she deserves.

I am sorry that you are feeling that way.
Many people don't understand what it takes and how hard it actually is staying home with the children.
You are a wonderful person and a wonderful mommy! Don't ever let the fact that you stay home make you feel any different!

I admire people that can do it..... it is a very important job ....and I'm sure it is the best option for most kids

You're doing the right thing. Raising your' children is the most important job there is.

I think the economy has made it difficult NOT to work - however, our family goes without lots of unneccessary things (big screen tv, SUVs, etc.) so we can enjoy the LUXURY of me being home - I do teach dance out of my home, and sell Mary Kay just so we can pay bills.

I've been a stay at home mom since 1989. I had been a working Mom for many years so I have been on both sides of the fence.

When you go to work, at least you get to stop at 5 and you get a paycheck. Being home, It's a 24 hour job. What you do often is not tangible like a pile of finished papers.

After what I went through with my older two being kidnapped, it was hard to let any of my children out of my sight. My heart goes out to people whose children die in day care. You can't be everywhere. Some people have to work. I was ill and couldn't work, but you know I thrift to make ends meet. You just do with less!

When people ask I just say I am a Domestic Engineer!

The debate to stay at home or work is really difficult. I have a job that allows me to work from home. In Japan and China, they are allowing women to work part-time, keep up their employment skills, take longer leaves and retaining a stronger motivated work force. America, unfortunately, seems to look at high income as a status symbol. I personally know somebody who gave up her great career to raise two well rounded children. She is unable to get her own credit card. She has to completely rely on her husband and his income. They might also get divorced soon which really puts a damper on her usual lifestyle. If you have a great spouse, staying at home can be a great option. I grew up when everybody's mom stayed at home, and my backyard was always like a daycare, except my mom was not paid to watch my friends.

I forgot to add, some days/weeks I really want to get a part time job JUST to get out of the house more. I have children who are 10, 4, 3, and 11 months... I can not afford to get a sitter to do any volunteer work, and it is hard to find anyone willing to watch 3 who are all younger then school age.
I have to remind myself that if I were to get some low pressure and low stress job, it may not even pay for all of my childcare at this point. LOL.

I have told hubby a few times that in 6 years when they are all in school, we will be needing a second vehicle. I most likely will get some part time job at that point, but will stick to low pressure retail or food service in case I have some kid emergency or something, as hubby's job is not the type where he can leave to pick up the kids if they are sick at school or whatever.

It is nice that you are a stay at home mom. But you are allowing the neighbors to use you, like you have nothing better to do. Stop, reevaluate your priorities.
You may find that they are using you for a doormat.

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No, you're not the last stay at home mom. I have friends who are and I did when my daughter was younger. You should not feel inadequate at all because you have a much harder job than someone who goes to work. You are forming young minds. It is important to give your children a good base to work from for when they get older. You may want to let others know that your time is just as important as theirs is. I don't mind doing a favor once in a while for someone but I wouldn't let them take advantage of me. You are in actually doing the equivalent of two full time jobs when you stay at home, as Dr. Phil has stated more than once on his show. Good for you.

Read the book Opting out. You are not alone. I always stayed home with my kids and when you have a teen, staying home can be one of the BEST things you can do. I think teens can be more difficult and need more supervision than the young ones at times.

I think all kids need a stay at home mom who can be there when they need her. I wish that everything wasn't so expensive and that just the basic necessities didn't require two incomes. It is really hard making it in today's world. Just another reason I love those gather gift cards to buy Christmas presents with!!

thanks everyone. I was just feeling insignificant. The was people treat stay at homes moms like they have nothing to contribute to the world so we just stay home. I have a college degree I could work, I CHOOSE not to. Guess I was just feeling down thanks for all the GREAT comments.

And I know it is not possible for some to stay home and I would never put them or their choices down. Some people would just go NUTS staying home (and for a while there I thougt I was going to be one of them). But I hung in there and found I loved it. The painting, the hugs, the games, and being there for all the tears and triumphs.

Thanks for making me feel better. :)

I'm right there with you, Denise. I too am a total and complete 24/7 stay-at-home-mom. I often wonder if there's something wrong with me that I'm not out in the world doing something else, something that people think is more worthwhile, but I figure this is the best place I could be. My children get to spend time with their mommy playing and working puzzles and coloring and painting. I think too many children don't get to do those things. Others may not think that what we are doing is all that important but I think it's the most important thing we could be doing!! I try to remember that when I am feeling insignificant and down.

If you can afford it, go for it. That's what I always wanted to do, but I was the breadwinner when my kids were young so my husband could attend school.

I don't think you're a dying breed at all. I think it's great that you want to and can afford to stay at home with your kids!

You know Denise, I think you have the best job of all,and the hardest. I had a career before I had my first child, and then there were 12 years between the first and the last and I stayed home with all of them until the youngest was 6 and in school and her father was there to see her off, and a neighbor watched her until I got home for an hour or so, but my oldest was then 18 so she was never alone, and then I got a job and had a great career for another 23 years, and then retired at 63, so here I am alone and a stay at home "grandma" with a 19 year old that needs me because he has been injured emotionally, so I have that job again, and I am appreciated again, and isn't that what it is all about. Don't worry about just being a stay at home Mom, you are important to everyone, seems obvious doesn't it, but you know, maybe you should not be so available, perhaps a couple of bucks thrown your way would make you feel a bit better, unless you know the neighbor just can't afford it, but I think having to make your schedule kind of fit someone else's is kind of a lot on you, Got to think a bit about you , you know, you are doing all the necessary hard work here, and I think more women are really trying to stay home if they can fincially afford it. Good luck.

Good for you Denise. My Sister, Mary, has been a stay-at-home Mom. She has
4 girls, the oldest going on 17. Her husband has a good job and she has had
the opportunity to do this. God bless, rpw

I just wrote an article on the factors to consider. I was planning to work outside the home but life had other plans, including: a high risk pregnancy (bed rest), an adopted special needs child (mother died of cancer), two in-laws who got sick and died within years of each other (lots of care required by us in helping them) and so on.

As the famous saying goes: "You can have it all but not necessarily at the same time" - or something like that.

I wrote an article at AC about weighing the costs and benefits of working versus non-working outside the home, including those elusive factors, like quality of life, personality, values, etc.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/106610/jcorn.html

This explains why I stayed home.

See comment above but here's some food for thought:
If you consider all the people you know who've retired, how many of their coworkers are hanging out with them NOW? Who is going to be there at their bedside to hold their hand when they leave this earth? Who remembers them after they retire?

But, more importantly, I think each of us has to decide what is important to us in life. For some people, that is working and they truly care about their careers outside the home, even if their co-workers don't remember them after they retire. They may still feel their time at work was rewarding.

For others, it is simply our family that is the priority and we can't - or don't- want to balance both. I don't judge others because I think most people do try to find the best solution and some have no choice. They can't make it without two working parents, even if they cut their budget to the bone and one parent works two jobs.

I tried beinga stay at home mom, but I am not cut out for it. I enjoy working part-time, even though it is not about money. However, I o homeschool my youngest, and I enjoy the freedonm to be able to do that.

For years, I faced criticsm for how much I worked outside the home, but when I was a single parent, I had no choice. I missed a lot of my older two childrens' growing up years.

When I stayed at home exclusively, I did get asked to watch other kids al ot, but I felt I wwas paying back favors from others during the years I desparately needed the help or justa break.

being a stay-at-home mom IS a full-time job ... for your own children, let alone being there for other people's children ....

It is one of the most important jobs in the WORLD, if you think about it .... after all, these small children will be running the world one day .... and they will be using the things they learned as children ... to make extremely important decisions, as adults ...

keep up the good work ... and remember ...... NOBODY is JUST a stay-at-home mom .... but EVERY stay-at-home mom is a HERO to somebody ....

It is sad that stay at home moms are looked upon as "not working" and as being people with plenty of time on their hands. Stay at home moms work and their time is valuable!!! Don't let anyone try to guilt you into thinking otherwise. Until a few weeks ago, I would have thought you were a dying breed. But, I saw a program on one of the news magazines about women leaving the "work force" to be stay at home moms because they feel it is important job! I'm not trying to slam women who do work outside of the home. Each persons situation is different. I just wish stay at home moms were treated with more respect and consideration!

I'm a stay at home mom too and I LOVE it!

SAHM's do seem to be a dying breed... My wife claims to be a SAHM, but it seems like she is out of the house as much as I am. Between running the kids to school, checking in on my aging grandmother and other volunteering that she does, I think I have it pretty cush in comparison... ;-P

Jane C. thanks for all that you said and thanks Tina, I't just nice to know their are others out there like me.

My wife is a stay at home dad and sinse cancer I have been a stay at home day.. But I think stay at home mothers are becoming rare these days... soon my wife will have to get work.. I will find that day turly sad.. Only because a child needs their mother.. dad is ok for a boo boo or a hug.. but moms seem to make it better that much faster!

I am a SAHM not only because I wanted to be home but because we would have been unable to afford daycare. And with my husbands odd hours, I can't even get a part time job because I have no one to watch my girls. Both are in school now, one all day and the other for 2 1/2 hours a day. And I believe I am the only one in my area that is a SAHM also. At least there are none at their school that I know of. Don't know too many of the folks that live around here though. Which makes it harder.

i am a SAHM - and we made the choice, to do this - accept a life lived on only one income, etc. it is SO worth it.

that said, your neighbors would drive me crazy. i would not be happy with all the freeloading! cripes! there are two other SAHM moms in our neighborhood, so that is a good thing!

I'm also a SAHM. My goal is to have both a work at home job and be here for my daughter.It's just a matter of balancing it. We struggle at times financially because of it so I try to do as much as I can to help at least bring in a little money to pay for some groceries,diapers, or whatever else we need. Most times it's best for your child. So, be proud of your choice and don't feel guilty because of it.

I am a stay at home mom as well. I think I am the only one in my area. That I know of that is a legal resident. All three of my kids are in school.

I don't know about you...but I do alot of work as a stay at home mom. I just never get paid or thanked for my efforts or work I do.

Denise, thank you for being one of my Gather connections.

As a Christmas present to you, I will leave this Christmas greeting on all of your photos and articles. It might take me a while, as you have been pretty active, but I will get through them all, and I hope you will get a little point (or Gather cash) boost in time for Christmas.

I wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season with lots of love, joy and family time.

I am a SAHM during my maternity leave & I'm loving it! Lucky you that you can stay at home to raise your children. They will truly benefit from you being there, I am sure! :)

There is no better or more wonderful or more rewarding job than a mother who cares for her own children at home. I think this world would be a better place if priorities were shifted and folks lived with less fancy things and spent time with their children - Our house was always filled with our friends - we didn't have a fancy house but it was always clean and we had lots of food and both of my parents (older parents) always listened to my friends - I was blessed to have a mother who was always there for us. Today she's been gone for three years and I can tell you that she was the best mother in the whole world because we were always well-cared for by our own mother. Salud

Yes, we are a dying breed!

I don't think all together we are a dying breed, there are a lot of "closet mama's" lol...many women who stay at home are fearful of actually admitting they stay at home to save themselves from the judgement we recieve...I say I am a proud mommy proud to stay at home, and proud to serve my Lord as well as my husband and my children....serve in a totally different sense than wait on hand and foot...lol...

I am kind of in the same predicament you find yourself in...I think I too am the only SAHM left in my town...although I have a few friends 15 minutes away....and everyone around me thinks that I have the time to do this and do that...um...hello....I do have things I need to take care of...it gets annoying at times...but I try my best to be there for others as long as it doesn't interrupt the care of my family...
Something it took me awhile to learn is that it's okay to say no...don't let other people take advantage of you....there's a difference between taking advantage and you helping them out...and it's okay if not everyone likes you....I know that stay at home mom's need friends the worst...but God will provide! He always does!!

Plus we can always get on Gather if we are in need of a helpful listening ear, right!! lol...