Is it a strange time or just me
wallowing through steps of grief.
Torrid dreams thru sweaty nights
with nothing in mind for relief.
Often something around the house
produces a burst of memory's glare.
Like a rerun of a movie on TV
I keep expecting to see her there.
One day at a time they say
how I can walk through this point.
I've done some painting and decorating
but home starts feeling like a jut joint.
Think I may sell her chair
or other furniture which lurks
to ease this passionate desire
and feelings which still hurts.
Changing blinds and curtains
did not even make the grade
and the selection of music
is like poems we always made.
Is this normal or am I odd
struggling to shed this grief.
So much inside the house
lurks around like corral reef.
So hard to cook for just one
the joy has faded in the rain.
Tears fall at anytime of day
as I relive a scene again.
I've buried lots of time
in working to extreme
yet I still must come home
to those torrid sweaty dreams.
Nights have become fluid
as if midnight were really noon.
My eyes awaken to each act
hoping the end will come soon.
There is no "How To Do Book"
on how to live through the grief
but deep down inside I know
there comes a time of relief.
Del Cano 2008 June
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Comments: 47
Z'
Thanks for sharing.
when you're ready
until the moment has already past
the feelings you feel
are quite normal
but who knows how long they will last
Just hold your head high in the sun
and let the tears fall when they may
you might find that this grief helps
at the end of a long and trying day
I can not assume to advise you
for my methods of coping are strange
but I know that you will get through this
though relief may seem out of range
Thinking of you Spencer I hope you're doing well
Blessings...
I believe each of us deals with grief in our own fashion.
For me, that means letting it out a little at a time until I can bear the pain no longer--then drawing it back inside of me.
Usually the next time my heart aches and the tears flow, it is an easier to bear ache and a slightly more gentle flow of tears.
What I do know is that your mind and body WILL deal with the grief--I wish you an easy transition into sweet memories.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You, her and God ARE a living and loving MAJORITY!!!!
All I can say, from losing my "almost-twin" brother a couple of years ago, is to love the memory. It was, is, and will be a gift--that love. Pity the people who never know such.
And revel in the fact that you were, and are, loved completely.
The music was toughest for me. We shared so many songs, being so close.
Now, it brings a smile, when, then it was tears.
Such is life,
and life is worthy.
Beautiful write, sir. I am proud of you, my friend. Also quoting Liz above.
I love you, (person who I've never met.)
I wish for you, the very best--Beautiful spirit.
Be kind to yourself, and practice, just for a while, that special selfishness, that lets you heal.
Blessed peace
Wilka
And while mine does not compare to yours Spencer, it hurts, and already I am weakened by it.
however, you do that rythe thing well - you expressed grief at its "finest hour" but still gave the impression you see hope for the end.....i hope you get that ending - although not necessarily happy, at least an end. ~j
This reminds me of the fact that most people who lose their mates after being with them for a long period often pass on soon after... perhaps it is this impossible grief that does it? Perhaps there are souls out there who understand, they just aren't living because the grief killed them...
You're normal. I truly feel for you and also understand your need to "just be" and to be alone in the silence at times - we might just all have that in common after a horrible loss. Though we all do grieve and go through the process in different ways (and it takes a different amount of time for us all), you will get through it and though you'll always miss her - those memories will be good.
Gentle Hugs,
Marilyn
God bless you Spencer, my friend.