What age is to young for a girlfriend/boyfriend?

I don't have kids, so my opinion won't mean much. I would like to think I can keep my kids (when I do have them) from dating until they're 20 lol. I started wanting to date at 14, but my parents would not let me. Personally, I think 16 is a good age, but... again I am not a mom, so I don't know what is realistic or not. Good luck...

Well, I don't know if I agree with what Pamela said. If you make them wait, they have a lot more freedom when they turn 16 (being able to drive and all), and they're gonna wanna go out and make up for lost time.

I'd say, just talk to the kid. Ask him what being boyfriend/girlfriend means. Play the "old people" card and say, "Well, when I was your age, we just went on dates and eventually we decided to go steady. What does boyfriend/girlfriend mean now?" And see what he says. My guess it means only spending a lot of time with that person and holding hands.

Make it pretty clear what your expectations are if you do allow him to date, including the supervision thing. Group dates with friends, or house dates where you or her parents can keep an eye on them.

You may not WANT him to date, but a lot of kids his age are. And probably a lot of his classmates are. So if he gets used to following the dating rules now, there'll be less rebellion later.

Besides, even if you say no, he's still going to hold her hand in the hallway and eat lunch with her.

just watch and see

At that age is it a cute thing....but then again the things they know at that age now aren't what I knew back when I was that age! In fact, I didn't know a LOT of things about sex until I was sixteen, pregnant and married...and even then I had a lot to learn.

Thank you all for your advice. Everyone of you have helped. Hey we all learn as we go, they don't come with directions. I know things are differant now, when I was 11 boys had the cooties.

I believe my nieces had boyfriends when they were that age. Just be sure to supervise their alone time together, to make sure they don't 'experiment'. As long as it is just a label they use with each other, it shouldn't hurt anything. And yes, I think your 14 year old is having an unintentional influence on the 11 year old.

Thank you for posting to

I think it matters what they think will happen as a boyfriend/girlfriend. Sometimes it can just be repeated because it is something that they hear a lot.

Just curious how this is going for you? My daughter had a "boyfriend" last year when she was 10... at first I told her she was to young and boyfriends were not appropriate at this age - so she hid it from me for 2 months until my son told me...... So I changed tactic & went along with it all to open the communication doorway.... Through that I found that it was as innocent as can be... They flirted with eachother when at school & walked home in a group from school together, but that was it - at one point my daughter was looking for a friend to bike ride with & all her girlfriends were busy so I sugested she called her guy friends - she called them all except her "boyfriend" because that was to scary for her lol... At that point I realized it was absolutly nothing for me to be worring about. This year, however, she is now 11 and has a different boyfriend. It's pretty cute to watch & this boy is pretty attentive to her... He walks her home from school every day & helps her with her paper rout one day a week. They are like really good friends who are very comfortable with eachother.... That started to worry me just a little as they are only 11.... But I have a very open communication table with my daughter & even though she spends a lot of time with this boy, they are still very innocent.... They have been "going out" for 3 months now and are still scared to "hold hands" ...... Kissing and all that other stuff is still very very unthinkable for them. I think for most 11 year olds.... Saying they are boy friend / girl friend is just them starting to have those special feelings for the opposite sex, but not fully understanding it - it's more like a really good friendship that they feel the need to put a lable on to make them feel a little more grown up..... The only problem that starts to happen is that their other same sex friends start to get annoyed that their friend is constantly talking about their boyfriend/girlfriend. My daughter is currently learning how to balance the time with her girlfriends an time with her boyfriends (she has guy friends other then her boy friend) - in a way I feel they are too young to have to learn how to do this - but in a way, I feel it's just part of that social learning they start in kindergarten...... I'd love to hear how it's going for you.......

...also wanted to mention --- the most important thing is KEEP THE COMMUNICATION open.... My daughter tells me everything & I learned from that first boyfriend experiance not to say "NOT ALLOWED".... But we have had "the talk", and I filled her in on all the risks of sex etc.... She is no where near that right now, but I am confident that when she is, she'll be ready to talk to me about it.. Every day when she gets home from school, we talk about what her and her bf talked about on their walk home & I always ask "did you hold hands" trying to sound like I think it's cute.... Making her feel comfortable to talk to me about it.... Hopefully she stays that comfortable talking to me about all this as the years (and boys) progress.....