Sad and Mad and Glad

Well I know I don't get here a lot.  First I have been working getting up at 4:30 a.m and getting home around 6:00 at night.   With 5 kids and  as a small one bedroom house and a husband who works here and there.  Things get hectic.   My mom is my main stay and thankfully helps with the kids.  

I am sad my job is ending September 7th  Not totally sad because it really was the most boring job I have ever been on.  But it still brought in the bacon and helped.   I am sad summer is almost over and I am not ready for fall but it is coming anyway so I better get ready for it.  

I am glad I am going back to school Fall quarter starting September 19th and getting my last AA in forestry.   Then I will have a complete well rounded ability to work in natural rescources and making me more hireable next summer.   I am glad that though my job is ending.  My husband has just been called back to work for the next 2-3 months maybe longer.  

 I am mad very very seething mad at my FIL and MIL and GGMIL.   They have totally gone too far.   Let me explain. 

First we live where we do due to financial hardship.  I have been going to school to make myself more employable.   I got a job this summer and will be able to work even better next year.   It takes time to get your feelers out there.   My husband too has finally started working more and doing better.   A lot of things led us to where we are.  Some were things we messed up on and made mistakes in we learn from them.  Some were due to other people and prejudices and discrimination.    

My husband works only part time, He is on SSDI due to mental disorders.  He cannot be around live around a lot of people.   He cannot work with large groups.  He was diagnoised with Passive-Aggressive disorder and borderline Schitzophrenia.  He does takes meds and he gets along with small groups and takes meds.   He is okay with our church and our circle of friends.  Both my parents have worked with people with mental disorders and been around them and understand my husband and how he feels.   However his parents are mentally abusive over and over again.  Putting him down and telling him he is lazy, there is nothing wrong with him and other things.  My husband is a WONDERFUL dad,  He loves his kids and they adore him.   I have had many people compliment me on what a great dad my husband is.   Because of my husbands disorder he does take meds and he has taken classes and gets help from outside sources to cope.    He is a great husband as well.  

I am telling you this because his parents cannot see it and put him down and deride him.  They try and undermine him but they also try and use him.  Laying guilt trips on him when I am at work by calling and telling him his brother a man of 29 years of age needs help.  Or his sister needs her car fixed.  Or his aunt Janet needs this or they need that. 

How he is the OLDEST son and grandson and responsible to help them when they need it.  He is supposed to drop everything and run at their beck and call.  After all your not working full time anyway they tell him.   First he does work and yes it is part time.  Second he is a house dad and has the kids part time.    Right now we are living at my FIL place which is a dump more or less.  But better than nothing.   He left the place a mess and expects us to clean it up. his 10 years of garbage, plus his other two kids and his nephews crap.   They are collectors and junkers and don't like getting rid of anything.    But we are to clean it up and organize it for them.   Plus care for our 5 kids, work, go to school and take care of our daily needs.  Right.  NOT.  

Well where we live right now it is 2.5 miles to the school bus.  We live rural and in the mountains.  We get snow, lots of snow and ice from about Thanksgiving to Easter.  

We have a driveway half mile long.   it is treacherous in winter.   With our work and school schedules and the school bus time.  We could not get the kids to the bus on time or pick them up always on time even with my parents help.   There were just times we were late and other times the bus was early.    We were driving the kids to and from the bus stop  15 miles per day 5 days a week.  Because our then kindergartener got home at 1;00 and our second grader at 4;00.   They had to be at the bus stop at 7;45 in the morning.  I had to be in class at 7:30. When my husband works he has to be at work by 8:00.   We cannot afford day care.   My mom helped sometimes but she just cannot cope with early morning hours and was not getting enough rest.  My dad as a sub sometimes had to be gone by 7:00 and other times there.  

The kids could not walk 5 miles round trip alone per day.  First they are small.  My oldest will be 11 in September.   They did go to public school for two years and were truant due to weather and our schedules.  It was not working.   We have cougar and bear up here too all year round and moose.  No way was I have my little children walking 5 miles to and from the bus stop.  So finally the school administration and truant officer came out and examined our situation and then wrote a letter recommending until our oldest has her drivers licence and can drive that we HOME SCHOOL our kids.   My dad being a certified teacher was approved to prepare their lessons and my mom to give them.    But my In-laws are bent over this.   They complain "they are not getting a social life."   lets see.  My kids have gone to camp the two oldest for the last two summers.   They see people at church and involved with our church seekers group for kids age 7 -12.   We belong to the Wall-eye club and rock club where we meet other families.  We see their cousins and we have other friends not in our cburch with kids.    This year I plan on enrolling them in 4-H.  

I was getting violen lessons for one of them and plan to find a new teacher for her soon and another for piano lessons.   But they don't like us homeschool.   Another complaint "Your parents have too much influence over your life"   First it is MY life and my parents are there for us if we need them.  In fact there are times I have to BEG my MIL to take my kids for a day so my mom can have a break.   Then Well you go to your parents church.  No I go to the church I choose and found and like the people there so does my husband.  My parents actually did not start attending with us for nearly two years after we went there first. 

Then they were not sure if they wanted to stay and so for about six months the tried other churches finally coming back to where my husband and I first attended.    It is not their church o my church.  It is God's church.   "Well they influence you not to keep Christmas or Easter or Halloween"   Not true.  That is my and my husbands decision not my parents.  In fact we compromise.  

We don't have a tree or teach of santa but we allow decorations and sing some carols and have gifts.  We both agree we do NOT like Halloween, the ghoalishness and all the sweet candy and junk.  So we don't keep it.   Easter we don't keep because we don't like all the candy and Rabbits do not lay chocolate eggs any way Not any I would want to eat EWWWW!.

Well my FIL has been making calls around to my SIL MIL and GGMIL and they got my husband over to Montana this last two weeks on a pretense.  Actually his uncle did need his help and said he would pay him $500.00 and that they would pay the girls to help too.   Well FIL got his nose into it behind our backs.  He called up my husbands grandmother.  My FIL ex MIL but they still get along.   He told her my husband was bringing the girls over.   She went out to her sons house where my husband had gone and told my husband she was taking the girls.   Well as I said my husband is passive aggressive and has some other issues and also has been brought up to believe in respecting his elders.   Though he protested a bit he didn't want to argue.   He had been stung by bees as well so was on benadryl and doped up and not feeling well.    She took the girls and started testing them and saying how they were way below standard in learning.   This after they had  not had school all summer.   She had NO RIGHT to do that.   Second she told the girls they were going to come live with her and daddy could too and that I was a bad mother and should not be running all over the place but should be at home with them.   She told them she was going to enroll them in School in Montana and keep them there.   

Well I got some sort of feeling something was up.,  I called my husband and he said his grandma took the girls and had not brought them back claiming it was not safe for them to be there.  That she had said to him she was going to start them on homeschooling.  He said he told her not to over do it but he guess it would not hurt them to review.   I told him I was coming to get the kids then and I did NOT want her homeschooling them or testing them after no school all summer.   I called her and she at first didn't want me to talk to the kids.   But she put them on.   Then after I talked to them She started harping on what a good dad my husband is and how I need to be home more.    How I have to many kids and how they need to be in Public school for social reasons how they are below average and that they speak poorly.   I told her one of my kids has a diagnoised learning disability.  My six year old does not speak well right now as she is missing three front teeth.   That though they scored low in a couple places on the Standard acheivement test that they mostly scored high.  My 8 year old scored low in spelling but KLevel.  We know this is a weak area for her and working on it.  She is in 3rd grade this year.  Most her scores are 4.8. 5.3, and in social studies 7.0 grade level and Math at 6.9.   Most are around 4th grade level.   My 5th grader scored low in English Mechanics.   Most her scores were 5.9, 6.3. 6.6 and 7.1 in math and 8.2 in Science.   I showed her the scores when I got there and she tried to imply they cheated.   No the take the test with other homeschoolers at a local center.   They actually score higher than most kids their age.  My oldest is not yet 11.    My 6 year old forgot 6 letters of the alphabet gee she has not been doing them all summer.  But she can read and write her name and do 1+1, 2+3  just fine.  My husbands grandma said she should be writing cursive not block letters.  She is just six and she is just out of kindergarten.   So I am ripping mad with them and this is it.   They have gone to far.   I am getting a restraining order against them.  Of course it means we need to somehow find another place to move.  

Mom and dad said they can help out for awhile.  They do have room.   We have our motor home commander hubby, Gerrin and I can sleep in.  The girls can sleep in their spare room and we will save.  They have a huge living room and good sized kitchen and dining room and two bathrooms.  

Actually dad has an idea to build us a place and it can be up by next June and ready for us to move into the main structure is already there.   We just got to put in walls and windows and a bathroom.  It already has electricity and water to it..   It will give us a Kitchen, Bathroom, Living room, and Three bedrooms maybe 4.   So we are going to help do this and so I need all the points I can get for home depot cards.   We have some materials already.   So God will provide away.  But my in laws and hubby agrees have gone to far trying to enroll my kids in another state from me and testing them and trying to tell them I am a bad mother and daddy should leave me and come live there with Grandma and she can take care of them. 

She is an old rip she is on oxygen half the time.  Is 78 years old and one more thing.  The girls said she took a broom handle to my six year old and she is bruised.   I am not letting them EVER go there again without me and it will be a VERY VERY long time before we go there.  

I am sick of their meddling and inferences of me being a bad mother who should stay home or my husband being lazy or no good.   Or trying to tell me I have too many kids.  I can have as many kids as I want it is not their buiness or if I homeschool or what church I go to.    Or if I work and my husband is a house dad.   My husband agrees with me and said my parents have treated him more like a son than his ever have.   He and my brothers are close to except my oldest brother and he is just busy a lot but I think he should relax more and visit.    But I might need him to help me writing up a restraining order after all he is an attorney.   So I will maybe call him after my last day of work.   

I am also not feeling very well got some sort of sinus allergies and upset stomach as well.  Maybe stress.  I don't know.   Well okay I vented and made points to my home depot cards.