This week I read a book, Leisureville, by Andy Blechman that raises an issue that will engage the majority on Gather. The focus of the book is The Villages, arguably the premiere “over 55” community in America. By premier I don’t mean most expensive. Lots of people can afford to live there, and they do. The place is huge. Land area is more than Manhattan. There are over thirty golf courses. This should give you an idea.
I am interested in The Villages, in part, because I live in a small nearby Florida town. But, I know many of you are not near 55. Why would you care about The Villages? Blechman thinks you will be interested because you might want to retire later to this Senior Disneyland. There are literally thousands of clubs and other things for you to do. More likely though, the author thinks there is something about the manicured, gated Villages that you will not like. He thinks you will not like it one bit.
That something is a firmly enforced rule that children (let’s assume grandchildren for example) may only visit for thirty days during any year. To be fair, most of the residents the author interviewed while writing the book did not seem bothered by the rule. The Villages also has many, many other rules, but those don’t seem to bother most who live there either. Many think living there is like being on permanent vacation.
I want to know what you think. It seems to me that if you want to live where there are no children, then that should be up to you if you can make it happen. I do see some special circumstances be that could be problematic. What if your single mom daughter is in auto accident and has to be hospitalized for a rather long time. Can her child come and live with the grandparents. Only for thirty days,
I cherry picked this one aspect of the book. It is very informative and entertaining. I think you would enjoy reading it. Don’t forget to tell me what you think?
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Comments: 25
I do believe the line should be drawn clearer on what kind of places children should be allowed. I don't want to see them at rock concerts or R rated movies. I don't want to see them in restaurants after 8 PM.
I raised my kids and I am now free to choose how much time I spend with children. (If you guessed "very little", you'd be correct. ) But I wouldn't want to tell my neighbors they can't have their grandkids or kids or young friends over as much as they can stand.
Sales people at The Villages sometimes point out that grandparents are used as free baby sitting too often. And this is true. Come to think of it, a friend of mine has two grandkids full time. Mom just split.
MJ - think I like your rules.
Anyway, I had no idea about the grandchildren rule, that's just odd to me. I did notice though, when I was there that there were not many small children running around. I'm assuming this odd rule is why.
I'll have to check out the book. I'm 26, so I've got a good while before I need to start thinking about a retirement place(although according to the scientists, the way global warming is going, central Florida will be like the center of the Earth by the time I hit 65, it's already pretty close as it is).
There are allowances made for extenuating circumstances. One woman did need to have her teenaged grandson move in for several months. Her request was honored with limitations such as no teen parties, or excessive noise.
I think it's a question of choice for retirees. We chose to live on the lake, in a neighborhood which is very kid-friendly, but our kids rarely visit. I'd say choose your retirement place according to your priorities.
Karen
I don't have children, but I may have to move into a seniors building in the next couple of years and I don't want to be where there are not children around.
I don't have grandkids, but children are a natural part of my landscape.
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When you family loses the freedom to come see about you when they wish, or must count the days you can see their offspring, all kinds of alarms go off in my brain. Though I have seen many older folks drained of their life savings through "the children" meaning their own offspring, and the grandchildren, who are tired of being used, I see just as many who love their families around whenever they have the time. And as you said, God forbid some tragedy, there are times when you just have to go home.
Many older adults fear not belonging to section of society that views old age, or retirement as the first ladder rung to approaching death. They need to congregate with those of their own age, with the same interests, and the same problems. But that is what we do all of our lives. Married folks have friends who are couples. Working folks have friends at work. The young congregrate in the clubs, we here on Gather get together for our own individual needs, but we all share what Gather has to offer.
I would question the basic human rights of anyone who chooses to live here. To agree to not see your grandchildren except for thirty days out of a year is pretty isolating. What could go on while your children and theirs are not around? Plenty. I have seen and read about it many times. All is good viewing from the outside. But inside?
There was a time when your parents got older, the thought of them living on their own, not coming into the arms of their children was shocking, and unheard of. It reminds me of an old Walter Brennan song I heard as a teenager, "Who will take Grandma". Who does and will must now be thoroughly checked out. Not because older adults are not smart enough to know what to do. Because society potrays the elderly in one of two ways: those whose children see them getting on and becoming needy, can't get around, forget their meds on occasion, have a health condition, whatever, or on the flip side, the commercials that bombard us with pictures of attractive seniors riding horses on the beach, and living their own lives. How warped is that? Did they not always do that?
I would want to know costs, fees, who is overseeing the wonders of an adult amusement park they can live in. No one oversees to much who enters a gambling facility for instance.Oh! That is an addiction. Old age is a "State of life" that must be catered to, monitored, and studied, and how many times does money in someway enter that picture. It is for sure the kids don't get it. But then again, many kids only seek that nowadays. What will I get is on their minds the minute even a tiny affliction presents itself. So the idea of a community that is constructed just for you and your peers is appealing, and would make the older person feel safe. But should they not in this country feel that way anyway. Here in Saint Louis we have a township that has repeatedly gotten away with keeping those of mixed race marriages out of their areas. It is true. These situations of isolation of particular life states are becoming more and more prevalent as time goes on.
If it were my parent, (s) I would really ask them respectfully, to read every bit ifo there is, and check it out. To think my parent went somewhere to feel comfortable out of fear of being controlled by their own would make me sick and angry at myself. Some kids do not want their parents. So surrounded by peers, and staff that is trained well could well sway their thinking. It is a great article, and much food for thought. By the way, many elderly went through the Great Wars, the Depression, and such just fine. They may walk a little slower, but I would bet with information just a button away now, their minds run as fast as anyone elses. EllenB
So yes, I have thought of moving to one of these villages.
But then, would they let me blast my rock n roll at times?
BTW - did you know that Disney World could build their own nuclear power plant if they wanted to?
I would follow my age proven adage -- It is mostly easier to get forgiveness that to get permission.
Rest easy
Have you ever wished that parents would think one minute before bringing their brats to a nice restaurant, where they proceed to act like heathens?
A second reason for wanting to live there is the person who has no interest in raising their grandchildren. I am one of those people. I gave my children plenty of energy. I pretty much insist that their children are THEIRS. I realize that many grandparents don't have this luxury, but for those who do, they are entitled to live in a child-free environment, if that is their wish.
proceeding for the actual review till the I'll be back
Thank you dear promoter of ideas friend Elmo !!!