So, my very best friend was in prison for 4 1/2 years for possession of narcotics. (I am not into that sort of thing) But he's had a really rough life. So I've been writing to him for the last four years helping him out when he was depressed, encouraging words....that sort of thing. Well, his release date was July 10 2008 (yesterday)......even my parents had been sending him Christmas and Birthday cards for the last 4 years. I got him someone to go to his NA and AA meetings with, someone that was willing to give him a ride to his meetings ( he doesn't have his license back yet). I got people from way back in the day to send him e-mails via my myspace page, I'm talking like 30 people. The e-mails were just supposed to be for support when he got out, you know, to let him know that he's not alone. People at my work are getting soooo sick of hearing his name cus I was on a countdown starting about one month ago.
Well, he called me as soon as he got home yesterday and told me he loved me and he thanked me over and over again for helping him through all his shit. I told him that I had today off and he said he may take me up on the offer to take him out today to get his hair cut and go pick up some clothes from his father's house. (I told him I would do anything in my power to help him out with whatever he needed.) So, he calls me today at 2:30 in the afternoon and tells me that he's been talking to the guys in the sober house that he's living in and they told him it wasn't a good idea to see me. They said it was because I'm married and it wasn't right for me to have been writing to him. They were all like "What would you do if it was your wife writing to some guy in prison??" While I can understand how that looks, my husband was fine with it. We have a respect thing. I asked him if it was ok before I wrote him a letter and I asked him if it was ok if I saw him when he got out and if I had him come to the apartment. My husband said it was fine.......he's my best friend.
So, anywho, he ended the call with "If we run into each other a year or so from now and I have my shit together, that'd be great but for right now, I think it's better this way for all of us." What the hell is that??????????????????
You know, I realize that he has to do things for himself right now to get his life on track but seriously, I put my whole heart into our friendship and stuck by him through thick and thin. And honestly, he's NEVER had his shit together for as long as I've known him and that's never changed anything. How is he gonna do that to me??
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You need to do what would make you happy.
Don't be sorry, I appreciate honesty more than anything. But that's one of the reasons I posted this article. I was hoping that it would help me see things from others' point of view. I may just not be thinking clearly about it right now.
I honestly think that I am being a little selfish myself right now and that's a really new feeling to me. I think that's why I don't know how to deal with it.
I just hope he knows that he can still count on me if he needs to.
I think I should say thank you??? It is a true pic.
But my husband and I trust each other.
Susan:
It can be hard at times for a man and a woman to be friends but we grew up together. Hung out with the same group of people, went to the same schools.....we've always been friends and yeah, we do love each other but we're not in love.