Well, it is 1:40 here and in an hour I am due in the psychiatrists office. Then I have a 3pm appointment with the therapist. I really need to get all this off my chest. I don't feel comfortable with her or trust her.
I promised myself that I would let it out and I don't know if I can. I am going to make the best effort that I can. I need to let this crap go. Granny will be the focus of this months session. There is alot that goes with her and alot that I took care of for her.
Maybe I will be able to go into more detail when I come home. Right now I am still a bit dazed no that isn't it... I don't know what it is. I am sure that I need more time to work all this out in my head first. I can't even journalize about it. I did write dates with specifics down so that I would remember. I always do that though. I wish that I could write more when I am happy then when I am hurt.
Talk to you all later.
Karen
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Comments: 22
I changed psychiatrists a year ago; the one I had been seeing wasn't helping me with my panic attacks. I was averaging one per day and on the verge of hospitalization/
The psychiatrist I have now is wonderful. Trust me when I tell you that it makes all of the difference in the world when you find the right "shrink." The same thing with the therapist. I hope you can find the right treatment team because it can make a huge difference in how you feel and how fast you recover from your illness.
You will be in my thoughts. Ping me if I can do anything for you.
I cannot wait to hear the results of the Session!
Blessings ~
Your Friend,
René
You mentioned that you don't know why you can't journal as much when you are happy. I think it's because journaling is all about working out the pain, emotions, hurt, anger, etc. When you are happy, you don't feel the need to stop and write, or at least I don't. Good luck my friend. Keep writing, and I will keep reading.
Thanks for your comments and votes. I haven't written my piece yet I am still sorting out details. It was a decent session all in all. I have to say that I have been going to therapy since 1991. I have been seeing a psychiatrist since about 1992-1993. The psychiatrist that I see now I have been seeing since 1999. The therapist has a big turn around rate in there profession so I have only been seeing her since 2007.
I have Bipolar I, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Seasonal Affective Disorder. You only get to see a psychiatrist for 15 minutes an appointment. I only have to see the Therapist every 6 weeks and I can go for a half and hour. I am stable. I haven't been in the hospital in 9 years. That is really good for someone who is Bipolar.
I am on SSI and I get medicaid. So there are some restrictions on who with, and how you get to go through this process. I have been toughing it out for a long time and will continue to do so. I know the risks and I am not willing to take them. I am what they call in the psychiatric community as "compliant" meaning that I do exactly as they tell me. I keep a schedule like I had while I was in the hospital. Meds are always taken at the same time everyday. I journalize as much as possible and sometimes I take on more than I should. I am trying not to take on other peoples situations. Since I like to help others this is hard for me.
Right now there is someone sitting in my computer room trying to get me to let her live here. I just kicked Granny out on the 21 of July. It is the 30th of July. That would be counter productive to the crap I am going through. This girl has her own baggage I have told her no and all the reasons why. Somehow I figure she will ask again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH