Anxiety and the New Job

I have suffered from anxiety disorder and depression for many years. I am not currently taking any meds for either. Although, for the past several months I have been dealing with it fairly well. I stay away from situations that I know will be a trigger and sometimes I dive right into situations and use breathing techniques or other methods to deal with it.

But now, I am at my wits end. Three weeks ago I started a new job as a care giver in an assisted living community. I haven't had a "real" job outside of the home for about 5 years. The new job has been a constant struggle for me. I also have sleep apnea and at night along with that, I have anxiety about going to work. So, needless to say, I am not sleeping well at all. I have been having mild panic attacks at work especially during a slow period.

I really don't like the job but we need the money so bad and I need to do my part. I wish I could find something to do at home to earn money. I think maybe I am a little agoraphobic. I tend to shy away from situations where there will be a lot of people.

I feel off balance and that scares me. I constantly worry about my health, don't have health insurance and I have an umbilical hernia which needs repaired. At times I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I've also been crying a lot. Money is tight and I worry about that. I have also been nauseous and....well I'm just a mess!

My husband says quit the job but I don't like to be a quitter and I feel like I would be letting everyone down and I would feel ashamed that I failed again. I never used to be this way and I would give anything to just feel normal again. I have been having suicidal thoughts but, thats what they are, just thoughts. I guess I just needed to vent and maybe hear from someone like me who understands. Thanks for listening.

Comments: 12

Chuck M. Dec 3, 2007, 1:11pm EST

Hang in there! Things will get better. That really is rough working a job you don't like. I would look for something that would be more along the lines of what you enjoy. Maybe working in a bookstore...something like that. Stick it out and don't let things bother you. If you find a job you like, you might find that you actually enjoy going to work. :)

reply to this comment

Chuck M. Dec 3, 2007, 1:12pm EST

PS...don't quit your current job until you found a new one.

reply to this comment

Ashley B. Dec 3, 2007, 1:26pm EST

I understand the anxiety and job thing, dreading to go to work, etc. I'd be actively looking for a job right now. Don't leave one job until you have another one lined up because it's awfully hard to explain gaps in working sometimes.

I only lasted 7 months at my old job because I just couldn't take the working environment anymore. I was to the point of getting physically sick and throwing up frequently. It was bad, and that is when I realized I had to move on.

As far as health insurance, I'd look into different insurance companies. Some may have low cost insurance or even temporary insurance. I currently have State Farm and will eventually be switching to Geisinger.

reply to this comment

J F. Dec 3, 2007, 1:39pm EST

I feel for you. I don't think being a caregiver is going to help your situation. That can be stressful on you as well. (Unless you can really get into care giving and it gives you great satisfaction in helping others and takes your mind off of your problems.) Take it one day at a time. I find that helps.

reply to this comment

Deb G. Dec 3, 2007, 11:36pm EST

Thank you all for the comments. I really appreciate feedback. I am still looking for other work and hoping that my college degree will come in handy in some way. I just hate this out of balance feeling, the feeling of being out of control.

Bridget, I will read your articles. I would like to connect with you and we can chat.

reply to this comment

Larry J. Dec 4, 2007, 1:09am EST

Deb, I hope you at least have CPAP for your apnea. I was 37 before I got it, and it has made a world of difference in how much more rested I feel during the day time. I also hope you can get health insurance, b/c it sounds like it is either time to go on or go back on anti anxiety meds. Turns out I needed those for most of my life, but did not meet the right doc--psychiatrist--until I was 50 to make that happen. I am very thankful for them. I hope things work out for you. God bless.

reply to this comment

Mike G. Dec 4, 2007, 11:48pm EST

I'm going through the same thing job wise, not so severe. But two things I can recommend: Go to the library or bookstore and get a book on beginning meditation. I thought it sounded real flaky at first, but it really helps relax you, and bring down your blood pressure. If you don't want to learn full meditation, you can just work on the breathing exercises. It will also help you focus. I think one of the reasons for our anxieties is leaving too many negative thoughts to jump around in our heads. You can also take a benadryl to sleep. I would recommend a half of one only-that's what I take anyway. Make sure to get them in tablet/not capsule form. I only take a half because they tend to make it hard for me to wake up, and remain energetic. And just remember it's just a job, it's not a jail. Good luck to you.

reply to this comment

Deb G. Dec 5, 2007, 3:17am EST

Mike, thanks so much for the caring advice. I do use benadryl to calm me down and I will look into meditation and see how it goes. God Bless.

reply to this comment

Roxy K. Dec 6, 2007, 11:41pm EST

I understand this too well.

Is this some form of state aid you can get? then you could get some medical help, it would at least be a start.

And I agree that meditation helps.

I wish you luck, and hopefully a not so people-oriented job.

reply to this comment

Amanda "middle of nowhere" C. Jan 21, 2008, 4:39pm EST

You may be like me and get anxiety even from a job you like, especially the Sunday night blahs. I saw a therapist who helped me learn imagery exercises...substituting negative images and worries with positive ones.

reply to this comment

Sharon A. Mar 14, 2008, 9:49pm EDT

My God! This is me!!!!!!! I always have issues with new jobs. And, I always take jobs with people who I have to take care of! And I hate it! And my anxiety is just out of control!

I use hypnosis/meditation exercises.

Try to disassociate the way you feel about your job from the fact that it is a job. I know Bob said that. True. You just are going there for the money right now.

If you find you have to quit, you are not a loser.

reply to this comment

Anxiety and the New Job

Comments: 12

Join the Conversation

You might also like