by CyberGwen !
Member since:
March 7, 2007

What do you do when your shrink commits suicide??

October 10, 2007 01:45 PM EDT
views: 255 | comments: 67

Last week, San Luis Obispo had it's first foray into Murder/Suicide.  A couple and one of their children is dead. This is a horrible thing to happen to the families involved, but as the news continued to follow up, it touched me even more.......

 Here is the latest

The husband was my Psychiatrist.  The story is still developing, but it leaves me really shaky and unsure about my treatment.  I honestly don't know what to think, say or do.  What do I do when the people I put my trust in are obviously having severe problems of their own??

On a good note, the couple did have two other children that were not harmed. 

 

 

 

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Comments: 67 ( 1 removed by CyberGwen ! )

Taylor ~hopes no one forgets her!~ Blue Oct 10, 2007, 1:46pm EDT
wow...i would begin to wonder about the things he said to me...it doesn't surprise me...they probably think about all the people that they see
Deb J. Oct 10, 2007, 1:50pm EDT
OMG, that is really sad! But you will find another doctor. You'll be okay! Sure is awful what happened though. Sorry!
Hollie ~TNR Works~ Oct 10, 2007, 1:55pm EDT
Wow. That is truly scary. Someone who you trusted to help you, was mentally unstable himself. I'm at a total loss of words. I'm more saddened by the loss of the children's lives. What made him kill part of his family and not all. How thankful that two actually lived through it. But the trauma they will suffer through and eventually need psychiatry themselves will be really tough on them I'm sure.
Mary McCartt Oct 10, 2007, 2:38pm EDT
How tragic for everyone, especially those left behind. Please find someone to help you through this.
CyberGwen ! Oct 10, 2007, 2:46pm EDT
I must add that they don't know that he was the one that killed his daughter or his wife. They just know that he did kill himself.

Thanks Mary, I have been on the phone with my insurance to find a new doctor ASAP.
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Oct 10, 2007, 2:55pm EDT
On my!! What a sad tradegy.

I would find another doctor as soon as possible. That way the doctor can review your case.
michelle K. Oct 10, 2007, 3:07pm EDT
That's awful! Well it's easier to give advice than to follow it, so it doesn't mean what he said was off or the wrong advice. But crazy stuff indeed!
♥ Adair ♥ K. Oct 10, 2007, 3:29pm EDT
That is sad. I wonder if the two kids who survived saw anything. My heart is breaking for them.

Gwen I hope this doesn't worry you to much, if what he said was right or wrong.
Jodi G. Oct 10, 2007, 4:00pm EDT
Wow! that's really scary.
Alainia~ Tha one n only~ a. Oct 10, 2007, 4:31pm EDT
It's sick enough to want to kill anyone, let alone you kids! Imagine how those other two children are going to feel. It'll be hard to grow up without a mother or father knowing why you don't have one!
CyberGwen ! Oct 10, 2007, 4:33pm EDT
It bothers me, but I am trying not to dwell on it. Everyone has problems, you just seem to forget that your doctors are people too.

This area just has so few mental health professionals that it was a struggle to find him... There is one that I did see for a while....he is being investigated for stalking.....then there are a few that treat children only....I swear there are only a couple left and just getting an appointment takes months!
Birdee F. Oct 10, 2007, 4:33pm EDT
Wow that is sad! :o(
CyberGwen ! Oct 10, 2007, 5:02pm EDT
It was birdee or I guess that I should say is.
William M. Oct 10, 2007, 5:14pm EDT
WOW! I don't know what to say.
lynn a. Oct 10, 2007, 5:55pm EDT
It would make sense to me that people who pursue psychiatry or psychology would do so out of a basic need to understand themselves and other people and to deal with their own problems, so it doesn't surprise me that from time to time one of them also loses it. They know a whole lot more about human nature and statistics, but they still have to deal with all the issues other people do and can get overwhelmed much as anyone elsle. I am sorry that it was your psychiatrist.
Amanda "middle of nowhere" C. Oct 10, 2007, 6:08pm EDT
What a sad story!
elizabeth e. Oct 10, 2007, 8:26pm EDT
OMG
Nanina Hawk Oct 10, 2007, 9:32pm EDT
I'm sorry Gwen that it was your doctor! I hope you can find another one. I am sure it has left you shaken. While we like to think those in the mental health field wouldn't have any problems. They are human and while they might be able to help other people and be really good at it. Their own life might be spiraling out of control.
I heard about this on the news.
Divorce is hard on everyone. Its too bad this happened.
I don't blame you for feeling uneasy or sad.
Thats enough to bum anyone out.
Bundy P Oct 10, 2007, 10:30pm EDT
This is awful...
CyberGwen ! Oct 10, 2007, 11:13pm EDT
They haven't said much about the why or how, but I do feel awful for the kids.
Jamie ~grant me the serenity..~ G. Oct 11, 2007, 4:00pm EDT
wow, that sucks. It's horrible enough that you knew the guy but to know that the man you told personal stuff to did that is bad.
CyberGwen ! Oct 11, 2007, 5:29pm EDT
It does suck! I spent almost an hour on the phone with my insurance trying to tell them that the last provider on my list has, well,....passed on. You would think that they would try to be helpful. Heck no!
The Red Headed Witch of Gather G. Oct 11, 2007, 11:14pm EDT
oh my....how aweful
Linda K. Oct 12, 2007, 2:38am EDT
I have a dear friend who used to be a psych nurse at French. She may have a good recommendation for you? If you're interested, e-mail me. I am so sorry ~ it's a mess.
Leslie "Missy" T. Oct 12, 2007, 6:45pm EDT
So sorry to hear this. I hope your insurance can help you find someone else.
Jo C. Oct 12, 2007, 6:48pm EDT
That is so shocking and terrible. The only thing I would add is that psychiatrists are as prone to being human and imperfect as any of us. Doctors are not gods. I know that it is easy to assume that someone in a "helping" profession should be able to help himself but think of how easy it would be to burn out, listening to peoples troubles all day long. Also, it had to be hard to have a wife who had issues, such as drug addiction, if that part is true.

Sometimes people are drawn to professions due to their own insecurities. Prison guards who want to torture prisoiners. Camp counselors who are predators or molestors. I DO think these people are exceptions and that there are kindly people out there too.

I know this must be traumatic for your but please NO NOT LET this turn you off of psychiatry or counseling. There ARE good ones out there. Lot any doctor, some soar, some are average, some are mediocre.

I feel sorry for this man and the pain he was carrying around as well as his victims. Such a tragedy!
Jo C. Oct 12, 2007, 6:53pm EDT
More info:

"Neighbors described the Rivards as a reclusive family that had marital problems, which also were reflected in court documents. They never saw the children playing outside but did see their mother coming and going.

She was a stay-at-home mom who had battled prescription drug addiction, and he was a San Luis Obispo psychiatrist who had owned his own practice for two years, according to divorce case records in court, neighbors and his office manager.

'I know he wasn't happy with his marriage,' said A.J. Brann of San Luis Obispo, whose daughter was friends with Olivia Rivard. 'He said he couldn't wait for his marriage to end.'

Police records show that since 1998, officers went to the home twice before to investigate suicide attempts. The records do not indicate who attempted suicide."

Clearly, there was a LONG-TERM period of issues and problems with this couple.
Bonnie S. Oct 12, 2007, 7:01pm EDT
That is sad, I hope you can find a good replacement.
Jo C. Oct 12, 2007, 7:42pm EDT
If he was prescribing any meds to patients, even ones that weren't narcotics or tranquilizers, then there will be patients who need to find replacements fast, as stopping some of those meds cold turkey can be quite serious!
Gwen, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. Even though it might take a while to get a new psych lined up, your primary care physician can probably prescribe maintainance meds, if any are needed, in the meantime.
Austin Cushing Oct 12, 2007, 10:39pm EDT
Wow.

I know I've heard that psychiatrists have a very high suicide rate in general, but I'd definitely not want to be one of their patients... I'd feel guilty.
CyberGwen ! Oct 13, 2007, 1:18am EDT
Thanks so much for all of you input Jane. I am still not convinced that he did all of the killings. For some reason, maybe it is the rumors of the wife's drug addiction, I am picturing that maybe she shot the little girl and then herself. It is just so sad, no matter what happened.

Actually, we had weaned me off of my meds and were getting ready to try something new. When I started seeing him last spring we found that the dosage that I had been taking (from another DR.) was a lot higher than the reccomended.

Thanks to all:)
Heidianna "Coriander" T. Oct 13, 2007, 10:21am EDT
Wow, what a shocker! I think since it takes so long to get a new doc, you should start that right away! And when you call, you should say you were a patient of his, and that you feel an urgent need to speak to someone about your treatment. I would think that a good doctor would want to reassure patients in a time like this.

How awful for the couple's remaining children.
CyberGwen ! Oct 13, 2007, 11:44am EDT
Doh! Cori, I never thought of saying that! The couple that I have called haven't had any appoinments open, this my just get me in earlier, thanks!!
Angella *ThePilatesLounge.com* H. Oct 13, 2007, 5:30pm EDT
Youcan only focus onthe good that came out of your sessions- As long as you made progress, you should feel good about it- It's like a coach that doesn't know how to play very good anymore but can still coach you to make the good plays-
Angella *ThePilatesLounge.com* H. Oct 13, 2007, 5:30pm EDT
Good Luck-
Angella *ThePilatesLounge.com* H. Oct 13, 2007, 5:32pm EDT
I meant to say too that you will be fine and I bet you will be much stronger than you thought you could be throughout the whole thing- hang in there!
R A. Oct 14, 2007, 2:40am EDT
"What do I do when the people I put my trust in are obviously having severe problems of their own??"
I think that just shows that no one is perfect. Everyone is dealing with issues of their own. Though its true if you go to someone for any kind of help you expect them to be the best. But then as they say, doctors are the worst patients, maybe because they know too much..
Chuck M. Oct 14, 2007, 7:49am EDT
That's terrible.
Jo C. Oct 14, 2007, 6:27pm EDT
I hope you'll update us on what happens in this case. I feel for his patients and the survivors.

P.S. Thanks for being kind enough to take time to comment on one of my articles, even in the midst of this shocking turn of events. That was so kind of you.
Christopher K. Oct 14, 2007, 8:55pm EDT
sorry to hear
CyberGwen ! Oct 15, 2007, 3:25am EDT
Thanks all. I am doing ok, it has just been a schocker!
I hope you find a good, competant Dr. that will be good for you. it is easier to give advice than to follow it yourself.....
j - Frugal Mom - r. Oct 18, 2007, 1:18pm EDT
This is such an awful situation, and it just shows that not even a psychiatrist can escape his inner turmoil.
Vivian P. Oct 18, 2007, 1:20pm EDT
so tragic
LILLIAN H. Oct 18, 2007, 1:53pm EDT
this is sad,and it shocks me,but thats life, LIFE AT TIMES HELPS TO WAKE US UP HELP,THAT HUMANS WILL GO THROUGH DOORS IN LIFE TO LEARN SOME VERY SERIOUS LESSONS IN LIFE ,BUT WE MUST GO ON,TO MATTER WHAT IS THROWN OUR WAY. LIFE IS HARD IT IS NEVER EASY AND THAT IS WAY WE MUST BE STRONG.
CyberGwen ! Oct 18, 2007, 2:42pm EDT
It is all sad. There is supposed to be a news conference today at 2. I will have to remember to watch what their final report is about it.
golds g. Oct 19, 2007, 5:21pm EDT
very scary to hear about someone you know and trust
I tried To warn you Oct 22, 2007, 3:20pm EDT
Drinking and other self destructive behaviors are more common among psych professionals than one expects. Additionally, many disclose info to their patients that they are not supposed to. I think the pressure of the industry is tremendous . It's getting even worse because we have shifted into a victim blaming mentality where we offer much ministry and care to offenders., to people "in recovery", and telling people with real emotional problems to snap out of it.

This line of thinking causes problems that the shrinks cannot resolve in their own minds, let alone help someone else to process. And unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened in the psych community.
CyberGwen ! Oct 23, 2007, 7:24pm EDT
That is scary Angela.
Maureen Sullivan Stemberg Oct 25, 2007, 10:31pm EDT
OMG. so awful...and so very scary for you. I use to be afraid if my pych. ever moved!!
I am truly sorry...please, talk to another professional. Don't loss your trust and all the work
you have done. You are still the same great person...remember that. ~mo-zy
CyberGwen ! Oct 26, 2007, 3:21pm EDT
Thanks Maureen....I used to worry about that too!

I am getting help from my insurance, they finally realized that they need to get on the ball with helping me find a new one:)
donna c. Oct 29, 2007, 6:02pm EDT
I think I would have to have a psychological evaluation sheet filled out on the next psychiatrist I saw...explain to them what happened and tell them you just want to make sure they are going to be around to help you and not distress you further.Hugs,Peachy
CyberGwen ! Oct 30, 2007, 2:12pm EDT
Donna, that is a great idea! Thanks:)
Cheryl R. Oct 31, 2007, 12:48pm EDT
Gwen, I hope you can find a new psychiatrist. Have you checked with hospital stress centers near you? I have a psychiatrist through the stress center here and she does not do therapy, just medication. If she feels I need therapy she refers me to one of the on staff councilors.
Della B. Oct 31, 2007, 11:34pm EDT
I was also his patient, but only saw him once (2 days before). Aside from the sadness for the family and surviving children, it really shook me. It is all too familiar to me, even though my father didn't kill us, he beat us severly and I think my father could have killed us (almost killed my brother, except the police were called). All the work I've done coming to terms with that was put right at the forefront of my conciousness.

But, with the work I have done to heal from child abuse I've learned to not see people in black/white or good/bad, because each person has some of each and to different extents. Overall, to me, this means the doctor could have given lots of good psychiatric care, even with his inner psychosis. And he may have been really good at the care of others, but as Dr. Phil says - don't substitute my judgement for yours, meaning I guess you'll have to judge what really was therapeutic and what was not. And this would go for anyone's advice and support, because ultimately its you, when you cut through the crap, that knows what is truly best. The therapist can only help bring it to the surface and make suggestions.

I feel also for anyone under his care because this certainly is an event that can shake the foundation of healing. But, I pray that trust can be developed within the self and with others who help with the original problems and those stemming from the murders.
CyberGwen ! Oct 31, 2007, 11:59pm EDT
Cheryl, I am not sure if we have anything like that here, I will have to check it out:) Thanks!
CyberGwen ! Nov 1, 2007, 12:01am EDT
Della,

Wow! I hate to say it, but it is nice not to feel alone in this. I hadn't seen him for over a month, I can't imagine your position. I am sorry.
Della B. Nov 1, 2007, 12:08am EDT
Me too (about not feeling alone). The good news is that I'm was in a pretty good state with my past when it happened, so I'm doing ok with it - other than of course how it is disturbing to anyone (and still some that personally "retraumatizes" me).
CyberGwen ! Nov 1, 2007, 12:12am EDT
I was in a good state too,thank god, but like you, it brought a lot of memories from childhood back.
*LORA* M. Nov 2, 2007, 12:15pm EDT
we had one here in our city do that last year
CyberGwen ! Nov 2, 2007, 7:37pm EDT
That is horrible Lora.
Tad Auty Nov 3, 2007, 11:40pm EDT
Well you have to wonder what motivates a person to study the mind in the first place. In my experience, it is people who have 'issues' of their own that draw them into the field. AND THATS NOT TO SAY some are not helpful or brilliant...JUST because of that! They understand many of the 'issues' first hand. But they are human too! many good therapists cannot function BUT can assist others to function better. It is sad, but that's why when I'm speaking about high I.Q, 'gifted children' or Asperger's Syndrome/autism, I try to make people realise that it's sometimes the most apparently strong, that are our most vulnerable. The tree that cannot bend in the wind snaps.
CyberGwen ! Nov 4, 2007, 1:23am EST
LOL, Tad, you are right. My major in school at one time was Psych. Go figure, I figured that I could help people and help myself at the same time.

That is a really valid point about people's strength. You think they are a rock and then wham!
Dorine H. Dec 8, 2007, 5:37am EST
Pray for God's help to find a competent and trustworthy shrink!
Kathy D. Dec 12, 2007, 2:24pm EST
Thanks for commenting on my Gather publications! I'm trying to return all comments and help members meet their point goals.

Here's a 10 to let you know that I stopped by....

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