Lonely Sundays

Having a job that keeps my busy all week, it seems I could be content to have all day Sunday to do nothing. But why do I feel I should be doing something? For one thing, it's way too hot to put my foot out the door, so I'm barricaded in here with drapes closed to keep the sun out and the A/C in. But there's memories of Sundays sitting on a pier with a gentle, cooling breeze coming in off the water. Or sitting in a swing on a covered porch with someone churning the old ice cream maker. Not this wandering from room to room, knowing I need to de-clutter or dust or wash clothes to get ready for work tomorrow. There's no motivation to do that. One time I had a friend who understood; I could call her and she'd be here with me, helping me get things done, not judging me for being the slob I feel I am right now. Too bad she moved to Colorado, not even in the same time zone. There are friends here that like me, they say I'm funny, we enjoy working together, and even go out to eat on Friday night at Cracker Barrell or Ruby Tuesday's. But they don't know the other me; the me that stays in a big t-shirt and slippers all day, and is constantly on the hunt for food, the only thing around that makes me feel good.

Comments: 8

Darlene T. Jul 29, 2007, 4:14pm EDT

I feel guilty about it sometimes also. But then I stop and think how hard I have worked all week and I deserve to do nothing. I pick and choose what I will do in the area of chores and cleaning up, but do not in any way feel I need to do it all.
Today, will I change the sheets or do the vacuuming? Decided on the sheets so they will feel and nice and crisp tonight. Take the break....you have earned it.

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Rose Marie M. Jul 29, 2007, 4:54pm EDT

Thanks for your comments, Darlene. You are right, I have worked hard all week. I went in the depression group and some of them were writing about manic episodes, sometimes I wish I'd get a sudden burst of energy. I've never been manic, well I do normally get excited sometimes or can laugh hilariously when I'm with friends. But the energy I need today just isn't happening. I guess I'll just go read the paper. I finished the book MiddleSex yesterday and really enjoyed it. I usually can feel ok if I have a good book to read.

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Faye K. Jul 29, 2007, 8:33pm EDT

Darlene, those were really nice comments. I feel the same way. Sometimes the best thing is to do nothing ... those days can be so therapeutic and relaxing. The pace of life nowadays can be so fast and frantic. It is good, at times, to slow everything down and enjoy your own company!

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Rose Marie M. Aug 2, 2007, 10:35pm EDT

Hi Kevin, thanks for writing. I try the "fake it til you make it" routine on myself. I can force myself to do something if I get out of the house. Changing the environment helps a little. I keep watching for that spurt of energy to magically appear. I hope you're having a good week.

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Synchronicity W. Aug 13, 2007, 8:50am EDT

i suffer from depression too. i was just recently diagnosed with MS which didn't help. the inertia is the worst. i hate that feeling. i have done two things recently to help myself. i am now getting a good night's sleep by taking melatonin and i am trying a natural supplement called SAM-e for the depression. the melatonin definitely works for me. the SAM-e is working i feel but it possibly could be a placebo effect. i feel so much more productive.

thanks for writing this rose marie. i wil try to write some about my experience with depression too.

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Rose Marie M. Aug 13, 2007, 9:17pm EDT

A good night's sleep is worth gold, isn't it? I was stressed out at one time of my life and the quality of my sleep suffered. I have tried several different medications, but now I try not to worry about it so much. Sometimes I function all right on 6 hours, although I think I do better on 8. I love to sleep and have happy dreams. Did you ever dream you were laughing in your dream and remember it? That only happened once that I remember. Anyway, thank you for writing, and I hope your health improves everyday.

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George A. Aug 26, 2007, 2:26pm EDT

Life usually gets in the way of living. I know that to be a true fact.
Maybe that's why so many of us long for the "easier times"
Actually we are living the "golden future" and it's a great one! Think about it! The entire world at our fingertips. Who would have "thank' it?
Let's try to enjoy every hour. They never return. Staying home is not bad sometimes.
Specially if we are surrounded by things we love and make us happy.

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Carolyn K. Sep 3, 2007, 8:09pm EDT

I see nothin gwrong with lazying around in PJs all day. I think we all deserve some down-time.

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Lonely Sundays

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