Have you heard of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz?
The book is a beautifully written instruction guide to achieve a life of freedom and happiness. He teaches four lifestyle commitments, which can transform life into the realization of your own personal dream. They are simple, yet practical & enlightening.
1. Be impeccable with your words 2. Don't take things personally 3. Don't make assumptions 4. Always do your best
Sound simple? Not so fast! Rooted in Toltec beliefs, Miguel Ruiz has done us all a great favor to explain and illustrate the above four agreements. This book serves as a practical guide to how we live daily. Miguel Ruiz goes step-by-step, with practical's and examples, to help us achieve these four agreements. Carry this book with you, it may change your life. Below you will find a little more detail and my thoughts.
The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word. The broad scope of this concept is to avoid sin against yourself by controlling your words & thoughts. Sinning against the self takes many forms: such as, putting yourself down, gossiping, or putting anybody else down because you don't agree with their point of view. Actions and words need to be consistent. (part of being impeccable with yourself) The other side of the coin is the smoky mirror concept. The author makes the point that our perceptions of others are merely reflections of ourselves. Therefore, to put another down or project negative words or energy towards another person, is to lash out at the other person because of our own insecurities.
Don't Take Anything Personally. There is an awful lot of negative energy out there and some of it is directed at us by other people. If you take it personally and take on the poison of another's words, it becomes a very negative agreement you have with yourself. What anybody thinks about you, or says about you, is really about them. Not taking it personally allows you to be in relationship with anyone and not get trapped in their conflict. This agreement can also relate to things that we take personally that cause us to get upset.
Don't Make Assumptions.Have you ever heard the saying, When you ASSume, U make an ASS out of U & ME? That, is assumption.What we think we understand about what someone says, what someone means by what they do, etc, may often not reflect reality at all. More often, this will lead us to think badly of ourselves or of others, and reinforce not being impeccable with our word.
Always Do Your Best. Your "best" is a variable thing from moment to moment. "When you do your best, you don't give the Judge the opportunity to find you guilty or to blame you.” You can always say, “I did my best." There are no regrets. The other key to doing your best revolves about being in action. "Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are. Expressing what you are is taking action. You can have many great ideas in your head, what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward."
I could really relate to the mirror analogy and the concept that perception is the way that people see light. Truly, truth & spirit, through their own smoky mirror.
The first agreement was probably the most powerful for me. I never conceived of how much power & energy words have. I reflected on how many unkind words had drastically changed my life. I also reflected on how one, "I love you mommy", and a hug from your children can make even the worst year worth living.
"Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of love and truth for yourself." I would also add "for yourself . . . and others." This is a powerful and quite effective use of free will to make correct choices that lead one closer to God.
The second agreement is very close to the Buddhism concept of non-attachment. Don't take anything personally. (Not anything negative anyway.)
Don't make assumptions.
If you assume incorrectly, (and you will if you assume too often) misunderstanding is going to happen constantly.
If the reality is wrong, then the core assumption needs to be changed. No one can assume what another person is feeling & thinking without error.(Unless your a mind reader) I know some assumptions are harmless, but more often than not assuming causes problems & misunderstanding.
Do your best at everything. Not so easy when you are having a bad day, but if you can follow this one, regardless of mood, you will be a happy camper. Living in the present is truly living.
I also liked the author's take on forgiveness, which is not defined in the traditional sense. It is used more like remaining impeccable in your words. His description of forgiveness is one I find the most empowering.He describes dealing with blocked emotions, allow them to flow without obstruction,without judgment. If something needs to change, then do your best to change it. Don't take it personally, and don't assume that you personally are the cause of the negative actions.
I thought The Four Agreements was a wonderful read with many great concepts! You have to read the whole book to really identify. I plan to review this book at least monthly to keep me on my toes.
The authors web site is :
Don Jose Luis grew up in a long lineage of Toltec Teachers. His father, the Nagual Don Miguel Ruiz, and his grandmother, Sarita, passed on their Toltec Teachings to Don Jose, who carries on the family tradition of teaching Toltec wisdom.
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Comments: 17
I still reread it today, everytime I go on a trip or every so often.
The messages are simple but his explanations & reasoning hit home.
Not everyone was raised with these principles.
Thanks for writing about this book.
I think its time I took it out to reread it once again.
I often give this book away to friends.
It's not always easy to follow, but great to keep in mind.
I think this would be a good book for anyone.
It is good to read over and over.
My cousin took one of his classes years ago.
Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.
don Miguel Ruiz
Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
don Miguel Ruiz
Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
don Miguel Ruiz