So, in response to Peter's article about the Duggars celebrating the arrival of their 17th child I thought I'd write just a bit about why having a larger family is awesome. It may not be my most elquent work, but you can be sure it's from the heart.
I have four children. I hope to have many more. I hope to top ten. My children are precious to me. With each new birth my love for each child grows. Since the birth of our daughter seven months ago I've had the enjoyment of seeing a new side of my boys. One I've never seen before from them. A compassionate, nurturing and truly caring side. Nothing melts my heart like when all three boys run over to comfort Loralei as soon as she starts crying.
Do you know how much fun it is to listen to a symphony of little voices in the back of the van? Better than any radio station I've ever listened to.
All three of my boys share a bedroom. They won't sleep any other way. They share every toy. They are learning that more important than what's mine, is what I share with others.
Many hands make for light work. Cleaning their room speeds by when we all work on it together.
The noise. The constant, ever changing noise. The laughter and giggles, squeals and chatter. Even th etears and cries and yes, sometimes screams. I have the loudest house on the block and I revel in it.
One day, hopefully a long time from now, my husband and I will pass on. When we do, my children will have a strong family support system. They will never be left completely alone. They will have each other.
I have one sister. I love her but we're not what I would call close. I wish I had a sister or a brother that I was very close to, that I really connected with. When you have more siblings, you have more of a chance that there will be someone in the mix you really hit it off with.
Play dates, schmay dates. My children have a constant play date.
Best friends, protectors, confidants and shoulders to cry on are always available.
My olde children are learning to be parents. They get to practice now, under a watchful adult eye. My sons will be amazing fathers and will never be afraid to hold a newborn.
I love my large family. And as it grows, I love it even more. Our house is so full of love it may burst at the seems. I pray that it does! For when love bursts forth it touches everyone around us.
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Comments: 44
it sucks because no one is really close or very intimate... get together parties for holidays are like a huge event were little clusters of people only really talk amongst themselves unless you are over the age of 50. It sucks for people my age because i never talk to half of my 50 cousins (on one side) and dont know anything about them.
i actually saw my older cousin at the mall one day and he walked right past me without even saying hi. i dont really think he knew who i was. What a shame.
it also sucks around holidays because no one gets you anything (yes i am greedy) or remembers your birthday.
I only realized that i dont like big families until i met my boyfriend's. They are all very friendly with me and i know a great deal about each of them.. more so than mine.
its very selfish
There are seven children between us and only one still lives at home. My family now seems quite small and spread across the country.
Three make me CRAZY. I can't imagine being three or four times as child-ed as I am right now.
Laura, it is often difficult to see why people have an opinion different than your own. It is a rare gift to be able to look through someone else's eyes and see things from their perspective.
Anyone who says people who want large families are selfish don't know what they're talking about. Being a parent is the most selfless job on the earth. You simply cannot be a decent parent and be selfish. Selfish people will stop at 1 child, because they don't want their sleep interrupted with 3am feedings for the first months, 3am teething fusses the next several months, and then 3am screaming fits from 1-3 when they become aware of their dreams. Let's not forget those 4am wakeup emergencies when the diaper fails miserably from family taco night and you find yourself dragging your husband out of bed so one parent can bathe said stinky baby and the other can change the crib sheets and blanket, put it all to soak, and find a new outfit!
The happy noise is one of the things that I really miss from when my children were young. We used to crank up Weird Al and dance through the house when it was time to clean, and we had so much fun!
A few years ago, for the first time ever I was ill and stayed home from work, and all the kids were in school that day. The silence was eerie. To this day, I've not become used to the quiet.
You look like a star!
Lacey, sounds like you have a good family there. My cousins have four kids, 2 boys, and 2 girls, and they use no aid to support them. He runs his own IT company, so makes the money to afford them.
Peter ~ You just made my year!
Dan ~ Thank you. I love my children very much. They are my whole world!
William ~ I'm sorry you couldn't have that larger family you wanted. Not everyone is cut out for a lot of children. I hope you enjoy greatly the two that you do have. I wish you and your family the best!
:-D
However, regarding the breeders, I posted this on Peter's article:
Out of proportion indeed. Other countries suffer from the same ailment. It's called OVERPOPULATION!
No, the children won't be considered freaks though their parent's judgement is questionable. They're already considering having another child.........what drives people to do this? Why not adopt? I believe its ego driven. They are obsessed with leaving their legacy behind. Quite a legacy! The children will end up raising the children as the parents continue to breed like rabbits. How could anyone have the capacity to emotionally care for a family that size?
As for the "crazy cat lady". Let's not generalize; she's usually the one who takes in strays and other rescues. Often, she devotes most of her time to these animals and isn't ego driven.
However, some people don't care for animals ( or humans ) the way they should and they end up damaged. This is unfortunate but child abuse is much more prevelant than kitty abuse!
Hey, I should know....I'm turning into that crazed cat lady you pejoritively speak of.
Please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCk508EaT6w to educate yourselves!
I agree.
I always wanted to have more kids, I thought 4 would be good but the way things happened I have one and I am blessed to have my one.
Sometimes I still wish there could be more but I'm too old to have more now and we can't afford to adopt so we have our son and I am so happy he is here!
I've had people look down on me and make comments about our one as if I'd made some terrible choice. Some people just can't have more.
So, like I said you are blessed that you can have the children you want.
ALSO, WE THOUGHT ABOUT ADOPTING OUT OF THE COUNTRY BUT THAT TAKES QUITE A BIT OF MONEY WHICH WE RESEARCHED. WE ARE HOPING TO BE ABLE TO SAVE ENOUGH TO BRING MY DAUGHTER HOME A LITTLE BROTHER. SO PLEASE KNOW ALL THE FACTS BEFORE YOU CALL ONE CHILD PARENTS SELFISH!!! JUST LIKE I WOULD NEVER MAKE JUDGEMENTS ON PARENTS WHO HAVE ALOT OF CHILDREN.
I COULD SAY THE ONLY REASON THEY ARE HAVING ALL THESE CHILDREN IS TO DO THEIR HOUSE WORK AND TO TAKE CARE OF THE OTHER CHILDREN NOT BECAUSE THEY LOVE TO HEAR THEIR LAUGHTER AND CAN'T IMAGINE THEIR LIVES WITH OUT THEM. THAT'S NOT HOW I FEEL, I'M JUST GIVING YOU AN EXAMPLE OF HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL WHEN I HEAR THAT JUST BECAUSE I HAVE ONE CHILD I'M A SELFISH INDIVIDUAL! THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE MY VEIW..... KRIS BAKER
Happy parenting!
I just want to be very clear here. I am not saying you have to have a large family. I'm not saying it's for everyone. I'm not saying parents of one child or two children or even those without children are less or selfish or whatever. Comments were made about large families and I simply wanted to share the joy I have found in having a large family. I am sharing with you why I love my large family. Not why you should want to have a large family. Why I love mine.
love ya!