(republished)
My daughter took my ice cream.
Fifteen minutes ago, the ice cream truck trundled by, playing its pied piper melody. My 4 year old little girl hollered "ice cream, ice cream!", so to please her my husband frantically tried to wave down the truck. (Sometimes I think they speed up so they can laugh while watching the chase in their rearview mirror!) I struggled into my shoes, and my daughter and I ran to the truck.
My husband, my daughter, and I each got a different type of ice cream. When we opened them, it was like magic to her just because it came from the ICE CREAM TRUCK. After she took 2 licks, the magic was gone. The treat I had just spent $1.00 for suddenly wasn't all that great. Her radar (all kids have radar for when their Mom's have something good), zoomed in on the ice cream I was getting ready to eat. And as all Mom's reading this can guess, of course I gave it to her.
This started me to thinking about all the things (big and little) we Mom's give up for our kids. An ice cream doesn't amount to much in the grand scheme of life, but to a 4 year old, it's HUGE. Instinctively, when they're young, kids turn to their Moms for anything they want and/or need. Little things like ice creams, toys, or anything you can buy to amuse them. Big things like love, attention,caring, support, trust and moral guidance.
There are so few years when a child solely turns to you. As they get older, their friends have more influence on the big emotional issues. Friends start getting alot of the trust and (right or wrong) providing some of the guidance. Your child might stop turning to you unconditionally.
Lay your framework young. Encourage your kids. Support your kids. Most importantly, love your kids.
All this thought came from one ice cream.
It was the best ice cream I never ate.
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Comments: 42
She got everything she wanted from her dad no matter what, except what she really needed, especially when I was adamant that she should have to earn it somehow. It is difficult trying to work with a parent that feels differently about how to raise a child, which I am still struggling with.
J F-the story is about giving your time and attention, I used the ice cream as an example of children wanting and needing so much from their parents; not just physical things, but emotional.
Liz- thank you!
Spencer- I could never leave the dads out LOL! Children need them too much!
Chelsea- Thank you!
Leigh- My daughter tried that with her dad and me, I think it's a knee jerk reaction with kids, LOL!
Erica- Thank you for the sensible comment and thanks for reading!
My son is "spoiled" in a lot of traditional senses. If he wants something and I can afford it, and it won't hurt him, he can have it. Larger purchases wait for holidays or birthdays, or they must be earned with hard work. It would be wrong to hand him EVERYTHING.
The rule in our house was, "As long as you and your friends don't break anything and clean up the mess afterwards, have at it." This meant they could be loud, they could take every single toy in the world and put it in the living room... it didn't matter. If they DID get too active, they were sent outside, just to help them live up to the "don't break anything" part of the directive.
Moms always sacrifice. It's what we do, it's what we're for. Children know that mom is their safe place, if they're lucky. I can't think of a better thing to invest in than that.
You mean you actually get to have ice cream, LOL!
Great article.
thanks for sharing this.
You spoke so well of parental love...the giving of all the ice cream we've got. :)
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