by *Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle D.
Member since:
January 16, 2007

So, I'm a little strange.

September 20, 2007 09:49 AM EDT
views: 100 | comments: 44
Strange is good.  I have learned a lot in therapy.  One thing I've learned is that I'm not crazy: I'm gifted.  I am an empath.  I feel the pain and emotions of others.  This is good.  That is why I get upset at mean people.  I want you to be happy so I can be happy.  I can't enjoy a sandwich if you don't like yours.  It took me a long time to understand this.  I dream of dreams of other people.  My dreams have beginnings, middles, ends.  They are great fodder for writing.  I am starting my first book which is part truth with a sprinkling of fiction.  My fiction source is my dreams.  So being strange is not so bad.   I like strange.  I don't like hateful people.  I don't like movies like "Titanic"  Those people suffered.  I can't watch something like that.  Are you an empath? 
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Comments: 44

David Salyer Sep 20, 2007, 9:59am EDT
Definitely.
Kim A. Sep 20, 2007, 10:00am EDT
yes I think I am.Great article,Carol.
Jennifer P. Sep 20, 2007, 10:02am EDT
Not like you are though.
C A. Sep 20, 2007, 10:03am EDT
Nope, I'm a Capricorn.
Lisa Frost Sep 20, 2007, 10:03am EDT
I tend to have a lot of empathy for people around me, even if I don't know them.
Dan R. Sep 20, 2007, 10:04am EDT
empath, is usually associated with Depression, which is what I was told once while in the hospital because of my depression. I am empathic, which means the emotions of others affects me. An empath not only feels the emotions of others, but will develop the same emotions for themself without the logic causing it. Basically, an empath absorbs and develops the same emotions as those around them, and it is hard not to do so, as you have no control of it. All you can do, is to try and keep a positive frame of mind for yourself, and keep as many posative people around you as possible.
Jaime R. Sep 20, 2007, 10:07am EDT
No - I can imagine what others are feeling but can't feel it. But I think it's amazing that you can.
Val G. Sep 20, 2007, 10:12am EDT
I can identify. Thanks for sharing your innermost feelings. It's hard to bear one's soul
sometimes. You did a great job!
Teresa W. Sep 20, 2007, 10:13am EDT
Unfortunately yes. Sometimes it's so bad that I have had to go out of my way to avoid people that I know are in emotional pain because sometimes I don't have the emotional strength to handle it. It's not always like that but there are times that yes, I run away from others pain. I guess that makes me very extremely strange. :-(
LEЯA © Politcally Incorrect M. Sep 20, 2007, 10:13am EDT
Wow, that is strange. Never heard of that before. At first I thought you were describing codependence, which is similar I think.

I don't think I'm an empath. But, it could explain why my boyfriend absolutely hates being around people who have very negative attitudes. I mean he HATES it! I always thought he was rather extreme about it.

Interesting.
Robyn F. Sep 20, 2007, 10:15am EDT
especially towards animals, i felf bad for Cujo:)
Tory H. Sep 20, 2007, 10:25am EDT
At times, I'd definitely call myself an 'unwilling empath'. Usually I can 'tune out' strangers and people I'm not fond of, however, if friends are upset or unhappy or uneasy, I usually feel that right away, and it tends to affect my mood. If I realize that's why I'm suddenly feeling a certain emotion, I can usually seperate myself from it and focus on my own mood if need be, but I can definitely still sense those around me.

One of those things that can be helpful sometimes, and not so much at others...
Tara R. Sep 20, 2007, 10:30am EDT
I have the gift of mercy, so yes I can relate to what you are describing here. My husband laughs at me sometimes because of how I can be. I can't watch some t.v. shows without sobbing (and I do mean sobbing). It has it's bad points, but it has a lot of good points as well.
penni d. Sep 20, 2007, 10:31am EDT
Carol, oh, are you my SISTER???? Have to go hide in the woods sometimes, it gets so INTENSE>>>>have often been accused of being a witch, mindreader..........
and it is only picking up EMOTIONS from others.....The good news for you is that it becomes a LOT more BEARABLE as you age.....
spiritoftruth
Cindy M. Sep 20, 2007, 10:41am EDT
I'm glad to hear it is bearable with age.Does that mean we get jaded and cant respond as well?I think people who go thru abuse develop empathic abilities so they can survive.depression takes you thru an emotional minefield that prepares you for or gives you the ability to be empathic.Dan is right;you have to brace yourself for the barrage of incoming emotions that flood your psyche.
Midnite Writer -- Kim Sep 20, 2007, 10:48am EDT
I prefer "eccentric" lol :) Keep going! You're fine!
K S. Sep 20, 2007, 10:55am EDT
empaths have learned to hide what they are b/c society, in general, has no place for them ..... we are labeled as crazy, strange, unbalanced ..... many people do not understand [most of the time, the empath does not understand] what is going on, and the people with "normal" sensitivity tends to view anyone who is extra-sensitive as being strange .... perhaps we should start to view those with "normal" sensitivity as being impaired ....
John B. Sep 20, 2007, 10:58am EDT
I have never met a stranger because I have never met anyone any stranger than I am. Different is a good thing,
David Rochester Sep 20, 2007, 11:04am EDT
Yes, indeed I am. It has proven to be both a huge asset and a major detriment, particularly in business dealings . . . I know exactly what my clients need in order to feel reassured or comfortable, but conversely, if someone is hostile or upset, it is very difficult for me to deal with. In interpersonal relationships, it often seems to people that I am almost able to read their minds. I've had to learn how to deliberately create energy barriers between myself and other people;I'm like a lightning rod for other people's experiences and emotions.
jane K. Sep 20, 2007, 11:16am EDT
good for you :) it's good to be weird, odd, strange
Priscilla (wishing I was in Costa Rica) ~. Sep 20, 2007, 12:02pm EDT
I am to a degree, while I can enjoy Titanic, & other such movies, I get upset with the amount of dealth, pain, etc. that I see/imagine.
Miz Lynn aka/BooBoo Sep 20, 2007, 12:26pm EDT
Most definitely and sometimes I wished I weren't....
Kimberly Ripley Sep 20, 2007, 12:36pm EDT
Oh yes....guilty as charged. It definitely beats being a sociopath!
Larry H. Sep 20, 2007, 12:53pm EDT
thanks for sharing..
CyberGwen ! Sep 20, 2007, 1:29pm EDT
I was going to say no, but then I read the comments and changed my mind. I realize that I feed off of the emotions of those around me. If you are up...I am, down and sulky, then I am.

It sucks! I often take it as my fault if one is upset, when it usually has nothing to do with me. This happened to me just last night and try as I might, I couldn't help myself from crawling into my shell and thinking that it was my fault and that I should be able to fix every one's mood.

Sometimes, I see this behaviour as extremely self-centered. I mean, really, does every one's mood have to be all about me?? It isn't, but my logical mind is seldom in the driver's seat.

It does make it hard to deal with people. Teresa brought up a point that I deal with all of the time. I tend to isolate because I just don't have the emotional strength to deal with everyone.
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Sep 20, 2007, 2:07pm EDT
Just remember one thing : If you wasn't so starnge I wouldn't like you so much. I like others that are different than me. As I feel I learn more from others that are strange or different from me.
Jerri H. Sep 20, 2007, 2:55pm EDT
Yep....and I don't always like it....there are just so many mean people now a days!
Cristina S. Sep 20, 2007, 4:05pm EDT
who knows? not like you though... but your way is a gift!
Pat M. Sep 20, 2007, 4:59pm EDT
Only with certain people, and I'm not sure whether it's empathy or co-dependence...
amy s. Sep 20, 2007, 7:57pm EDT
thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about yourself. I thoughly enjoyed reading about it.
Taylor ~hopes no one forgets her!~ Blue Sep 20, 2007, 8:35pm EDT
i am to a certain extent...I sometimes worry too much about others and not about myself...I loved Titanic the movie and bawled...and movies with animals make me cry everytime...
Kimberlee S. Sep 21, 2007, 12:19am EDT
Oh yes, I won't even watch the news anymore.
Lina :-p Sep 21, 2007, 1:18am EDT
I am and it takes over my life sometimes. I had to move away from my struggling family so I could blossom and grow on my own. I have to distance myself from certain things and people... It's hard but it is also unique and special.. It makes me more emotionally intelligent...
Alison Pearce Sep 21, 2007, 3:23am EDT
Speaking from MY heart Carol! Let's be strange together, it'll be a much nicer world!
Debra N. Sep 21, 2007, 11:12am EDT
AHA! I sensed something special about you! I have long admired your spirit and strength of conviction. Now I know the source of it - your heart. Yes; I too suffer this affliction. The trick is to turn it into something positive, which you certainly have done. Sometimes my mushy heart won't even let me watch the evening news without breaking into tears.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle D. Sep 21, 2007, 11:26am EDT
I went to a new doctor and he says that it does get better with age, not that it goes away, but that you become more aware of why you feel that way. I wrote a ghost story about Elizabeth. It's still here. An empath is able to feel emotions of past and present. Scary. I love Elizabeth. Many of us are sisters in this. The woods sounds great right now.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle D. Sep 21, 2007, 11:29am EDT
Another tip: If you are an empath, don't ever watch Sophie's choice. It just about killed me.
Heather W. Sep 21, 2007, 11:49am EDT
I think that sometimes I have too much empathy. A little bit is good, but too much leaves you exhausted.
Debra N. Sep 21, 2007, 2:46pm EDT
I did watch Sophies Choice without knowing what I was in store for. Especially don't watch it if you have children. Of course, I also became physically ill and almost passed out at the Holocaust Museum.
Susan N. Sep 21, 2007, 4:33pm EDT
Must be - I always thought I was just extra sentimental!
I MUST watch certain shows (documentaries of Kennedy's assassination , the Holocaust, earth quakes and tornadoes, 9/11 etc.) if I know they are on because I feel guilty if I do not honor the suffering portrayed, sounds dumb I know, but that's how my mind works sometimes.
Barb M Sep 21, 2007, 8:42pm EDT
To some extent - I feel deeply for others - and I get hurt and upset when they are.

I don't see anything Strange in being who you are!!!
James B. Sep 23, 2007, 3:21pm EDT
Does it make me selfish that it won't phase me if we are eating and you don't enjoy your meal. I would help you try to send it back/get a replacement -- but I am going to scarf mine down.

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