by *LORA* M.
Member since:
February 13, 2007

Women: same question for you as the men and be honest here

June 22, 2007 11:05 PM EDT (Updated: June 22, 2007 11:15 PM EDT)
views: 121 | rating: 9.9/10 (29 votes) | comments: 74
Would   you date or marry a guy who is overwieght?
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Comments: 74

*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:07pm EDT
I have. More then once and get this. They still did not want to be with me. They though themselves were 200 or + still wanted to be with someone size 7. Now if that does not make you feel bad. Even the bigger guys don't want cha. My point proven. :((
Heather C. Jun 22, 2007, 11:08pm EDT
Yes! I married twice...one very thin, one 20 pounds overweight.... guess which one has lasted 27 years...... hint: not the skinny one.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:09pm EDT
Heather? only 20 lbs. over. I was talking more. Glad your marriage lasted. that is an accomplishment today.
Lisa Frost Jun 22, 2007, 11:10pm EDT
I have. I don't usually like the "hot" guys because they are the ones that are cruel and mean and nasty to people. I have trouble being attracted to anybody strictly on looks. It is the person. Who they are that matters. Period.
Janet "Jax" B. Jun 22, 2007, 11:10pm EDT
My husband is over weight (but then again, I could lose a good 25-35 lbs too).
Heather C. Jun 22, 2007, 11:10pm EDT
Forgot to mention, I was at my ideal weight when we married and although he was heavier than me, I carried him over the threshold.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:12pm EDT
aaaaaawwwwwwwwwww Heather/ and right on Lisa
Larry H. Jun 22, 2007, 11:12pm EDT
Not me.
Missy Cline Jun 22, 2007, 11:13pm EDT
well, i dated guys that were chubby/overweight but my husband is a infamous stringbean.
Larry H. Jun 22, 2007, 11:13pm EDT
I woulldn't marry a guy for any reason,
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:14pm EDT
Larry answer under the mens column
Jennifer N. Jun 22, 2007, 11:14pm EDT
Why not? If I loved or cared for him, sure. Love isn't about someone's weight or lack there of.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:16pm EDT
Right Jennifer. But some people view it as such
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:17pm EDT
Well Isabella, a relationship is more then just sex. if that is all you base it on then it is a sad one. However, I do appreciate your honesty and that is what I asked for so thank you for that.
Dalal A. Jun 22, 2007, 11:19pm EDT
My husband is overweight but he is very attractive and has the most wonderful sense of humor ;P I never found that his weight or looks bothered me or created an issue in our relationship.
But sometimes he would have some attitudes with socialising or going for walks together, or even outdoor activities with the kids. that is what makes me sometimes think if only he is physically more fit it would make a difference.
I worry about his health sometimes, especially with age.
CyberGwen ! Jun 22, 2007, 11:25pm EDT
You said to be honest, so .....I haven't and probably wouldn't.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:29pm EDT
Nope Isabella you never even mentioned God in that sentence. You didn't need to get so rude or nasty. I was just saying sex is not always a priority at the top of the list for eveyone. Maybe for you and that is fine, but not for all. and unlike you I will not end this will a rude and insulting take that to your grave comment, instead will wish you a good evening.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:33pm EDT
way to go Trixie
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:36pm EDT
well Larry I thought it was funny for you to slip in and make a funny. sorry ya got booted.. you must be a silly guy.. lol anyways for my answer... It depends on what you consider overweight! My husband is not fat.. but If you look at his height and weight the pros my say he is overweight! He is NOT fat to me! I would not wanna date a really big guy with rolls.. no! it is just not for me! I want somone who care a little bit about themself to try to stay healthy! Many men these days have what ya call a beer belly(even though its not from beer) but I do not consider most of them fat! Its just one big hard belly not a bunch of rolls! I like a man who is also not lazy. one that likes to do things and some Fat (overweight men) dont wanna do much! I do love everyone though! Everyone no matter of size still have a heart and I would be a best friend just not a soul mate!
Dalal A. Jun 22, 2007, 11:37pm EDT
Isabella was trying to be funny and was taken tooooo seriously. I think the honesty part brings up the topic subconciously.
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:41pm EDT
thanks kathleen for sharing
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:46pm EDT
What the H is with your attitude Isabella. Nobody is trying to fight you so get off it. You come off with this big bad girl attitude. Saying if I want to fight you etc. I don't even know you. I asked a q. You answered. I made a general comment. You, NOT ME come back with a smart A$$ comment about take it to the grave honey. I simply said Iwas not going to be as rude as you, but chose to instead wish you a nice evening and you still come back attacking me. I am NOT the one with the problem here. You are the one who is threatening me. Again,. have a nice evening.
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:49pm EDT
dont waist your time Lora! some people have issue in life and they find anyone to take it out on! NOT like that is a bad thing Isabella! We all do it at some point! Have a good evening Gather!
Janet H. Jun 22, 2007, 11:49pm EDT
If I were single, I would if the guy was nice and had a lot in common with me.
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:50pm EDT
I got a new cell phone today! Its a Razor. My hubby bought it for me!! Yall excited or what ;)
*LORA* M. Jun 22, 2007, 11:51pm EDT
I have a razar too. what color is yours?
Lisa J Jun 22, 2007, 11:53pm EDT
Uh... I'm planning to marry someone who is about sixty pounds overweight. He has issues with MY weight, though, while I prefer to look at the "person inside."

*sigh*
Dalal A. Jun 22, 2007, 11:53pm EDT
Wow how fancy Tiffany. I guess now you and D&G have so much in common!
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:55pm EDT
mine is gray.. it has an mp3 player lol I stayed in van with kids while mu hubby got it for me! Its neat! He wanted to trade me cause his is a normal black razor.. I wanted pink or purple but they were out. Oh well who is d&g lol sorry
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:56pm EDT
hone. Takes pics and plays music and lotta stuff.. they can get on the net if ya pay for it but I did not want that!
Tiffany G. Jun 22, 2007, 11:58pm EDT
did not type in beginng hone. was supposed to be phone.. and not sure what came before that.. lol I am tired... supposed to be that time of month.. but thats for some reason not here today
Randy- Being true to myself Jun 22, 2007, 11:58pm EDT
Well, A relationship should first be built on true friendship and honesty. If a person goes into a relationship with sex and money as the reasons to be in a relationship, they will be sadly sorry. Ifelt like commenting here Lora, sorry for doing so, but I saw some nasty words tossed around.

I would hate to have to copy and paste comments for Gather to read. I have been around the block, and am on my third divorce. None were due to money or sex that brought us together or that took us apart.

Now, I hope all can play friendly, this is actually a great conversation topic to discuss, if people could stay friendly.

Enjoy ladies, that guy is going but watching, so no mean jokes, unless they are really funny.
Tiffany G. Jun 23, 2007, 12:00am EDT
WHAT GUY.. this is posed to be for women lol
Dalal A. Jun 23, 2007, 12:01am EDT
men with sense of humor are welcome too lol.
Tiffany G. Jun 23, 2007, 12:05am EDT
lol any women in here have kids or know much about early prego
Dalal A. Jun 23, 2007, 12:09am EDT
I have 2 kids (12 yrs boy and 5 yrs girl). Are you expecting?
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 12:13am EDT
I love ya Randy. Right on bro!
Tiffany G. Jun 23, 2007, 12:15am EDT
umm I am not sure I was supposed to start today.. I do take pills I am on 6 day pill and I should be on my ya know.. but I did not start today but I have cramping with the runs! Its awful sorry tmi!
ANY IDEAS THOUGH
Tiffany G. Jun 23, 2007, 12:19am EDT
yeah ok.. im done with that sorry
Elaine A. Jun 23, 2007, 12:20am EDT
Not sure...

My Hubby is Chubby ;-)
I am a 10 pounds over my ideal weight.

Both of us are dieting, and we leave for Las Vegas on Wed., we will still watch what we eat.
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 12:25am EDT
we are off the original q. here :-)
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 12:30am EDT
agree with you. It is about the inside not the out. Life is to short to worry about the superficial. God Bless.
Carolyn G. Jun 23, 2007, 12:33am EDT
I honestly believe that all this emphasis on looks and weight over intelligence and substance is why we have so many divorces in this country. We choose people for superficial reasons then wonder why they turn out to be superficial.

I'm not in the market at all any more, gave it up years ago. However, a person's size never mattered to me at all nor did their looks. I do admit that intelligence, sense of humor, and to some extent education were important to me. Still are for that matter. It's not that I don't appreciate looking at a slim handsome man, it is just that life has taught me that most such people are much more in love with themselves than they could ever be with me.

I'm a world-class cynic. I personally think that real love is as rare as unicorns.
Heather Montanaro Jun 23, 2007, 12:45am EDT
Looks don't last. I always went for the ones that made me laugh. The rest comes naturally. My hubby has many more pounds than he wants but when I'm laughing so, it's hard to notice!
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 12:52am EDT
agree sheryl and carolyn
Dalal A. Jun 23, 2007, 12:54am EDT
I agree that It is pointless to worry about superficial qualities in a man and the over all personality is what counts. But also compatibility is important when it comes to personality, and personalities are based on desires and goals in life. So even intellect and sense of humor do not save a bad match. Couples have to satisfy each other at every level for the relationship to be sucessful. So for a superficial person, if looks that matters I guess it is a personal choice. and hey! for such individuals I don't think a long term relationship is what they are after.
Randy- Being true to myself Jun 23, 2007, 1:36am EDT
Lora, I answered the question that you posed to men, and here is my response. I thought it might be food for thought over here to help as you all discuss.


Lora, My three wives were all very different physically. Sherry, my first wife was the same size waist as I when we divorced, and she was a beautiful woman. Theresa was a spark of a red head and was maybe 20 pounds over being skinny, and was a beautiful soul and a very pretty young lady. My last wife was very thin, tall and was what most men would say was well built. The young lady that I live with now is shorter and has a few extra pounds on the buttocks, but small besides that. So it is not the physical, but the emotional and friendship that has been built that is important to me.
Randy-Happiness is of the heart Joy is what happiness brings, Jun 23, 2007, 1:27am EDT delete
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 2:18am EDT
thank you for sharing randy and hate me.... I appreciate your insights randy
samantha b. Jun 23, 2007, 2:31am EDT
I would rather be will someone who is a little overweight than too skinny.
K K. Jun 23, 2007, 5:25am EDT
Sorry But I wouldn't marry any Guy skinny or fat
☀ Aunt Shanny Jun 23, 2007, 10:00am EDT
Actually, I prefer a huskier man. Who wants a skinny guy or a muscle bound dummy?
Kay C. Jun 23, 2007, 11:23am EDT
I married a man that was a bit overweight, but so am I. We both are trying to lose some pounds, about 25lbs. each. Neither of us are what you might call obese. We have a great deal in common, we both have a dry sense of humor and like a lot of the same things. We were both "fit" until our 40's and remember with fondness our previous forms. But I wouldn't trade him for aa skinny or muscle bound man! The body can be fit and the mind not, so I prefer spending my last years with someone who is loving, romantic, caring and can carry on an intellegent conversation over someone who is "totally fit" :)
tomi r. Jun 23, 2007, 11:59am EDT
I look past physical appearances. I'd have to say though, standing in a crowd and just going on appearance only, beefy guys are the first to catch my eye:) When I say beefy, I mean muscle or fat. I've even been attracted to men that are shorter than me. There are thin men I find attractive too. Oh hell, I like men:)
But after that first eye-catching moment, it all goes to personality.
tomi r
Cheryl W. Jun 23, 2007, 12:07pm EDT
Physical appearance is not the first thing I look at in a man. I look at his eyes, his smile, his character. I like a man that is self-confident, and if a man is self-confident in an overweight body, then the weight would not be an issue with me.
Michelle Earl Jun 23, 2007, 12:35pm EDT
I'm married, but I'll answer this anyway. What matters is on the inside. If the person treats me well, has a good character and so on, then fine, yes I would. My only concern would be for his health, same as the fact that I have my own health concerns.
jenny D. Jun 23, 2007, 1:52pm EDT
YES,
people shouldn't ignore someone on account of being fat, when you marry someone it's because you love that person for WHO they are, not what they look like.
Anita R. Jun 23, 2007, 4:46pm EDT
I look for a guy that has a good sense of humor, honest, dependable, & understanding. In fact I married such a man. We have been married for 28 yrs.
He is overweight & so am I. I agree with Jenny D. you marry the person for who they are & not what they look like.
Angie O. Jun 23, 2007, 4:50pm EDT
I have dated men with a few extra lbs and also think men and I base my thoughts about them on personality first. Yes, there has to be physical attraction but to base your idea on all how much someone weighs is really not real. In the future, no telling how much weight this person may lose or gain. Good and bad in all. And, I myself would like to lose a few lbs.
Barbi P. Jun 23, 2007, 4:56pm EDT
Skinny does not mean hot. My boyfriend is 140 and 6 feet tall and I would be more than happy to pack a good 40 pounds on him if it made his face easier to look at. And to be honest its a little distracting when your boyfriends curves are nicer than yours.
But really there is a limit Im sure, as there is for everything. If you get me a nice guy with a good sense of humor who is smart, educated and has a great job and a future and is really hot, Im more than happy with him being 500 pounds. But usually the weight isnt the only thing that keeps me away from a guy.
Dawn M Jun 23, 2007, 5:11pm EDT
My first husband was "normal" in the weight department. My second is very heavy. I'm much happier in my second marriage than I was in my first. Much, MUCH happier. Weight SO doesn't matter in terms of my personal happiness. The only thing I ever worry about is making sure he sticks around on the planet for as long as possible, so we can have more time together :)
Kathleen ♥ L. Jun 23, 2007, 5:31pm EDT
I don't find skinny or slight men attractive at all. In a crowd I'll notice the 'big guy' first, either by height or just body size as in husky or sturdy. But, if he's a total jerk it doesn't matter what he looks like. The man I am currently seeing is overweight, but so am I. He's not all jelly roll though, he's got that barrel chest that's slowly moving south. More important he's got a smile that starts in his eyes and just grows from there and he has a sense of humour, native intelligence not just book smarts, he's got 'steel' as the saying goes and is just an interesting character to be around.
Vicki W. Jun 23, 2007, 5:34pm EDT
I'm married to a truly average sized guy (not skinny, not overweight) now, but "eons" ago, when I was dating. It didn't make a difference. I was looking for someone with the same belief system, a good sense of humor, and with the intention of treating me right.
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 6:43pm EDT
thanks for sharing these with us
Christine G. Jun 23, 2007, 9:23pm EDT
I would marry or date a guy that is overweight.
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 9:49pm EDT
so would I.
*LORA* M. Jun 23, 2007, 10:33pm EDT
Lisa B....Really??? I mean he has issues with you? why? you seem so sweet and kind
Janice (What Would Buffy Do?)B. Jun 24, 2007, 10:37am EDT
When I met my husband, it was lust at first sight. I thought he was hot. He couldn't keep his hands off me. Ask a third party if we're hot and you'll hear crickets chirping! Time passes. I can honestly say any problems in our marriage have nothing to do with sex. In fact, i think attraction has more to do with pheromones and spirituality than what we actually look like.
*LORA* M. Jun 24, 2007, 12:50pm EDT
ha ha nice answer Janice
Arielle K. Jun 25, 2007, 8:27am EDT
Lora - Great topic for discussion (sorry I'm a little late on commenting, here). I have dated one guy who was slightly overweight but I don't think to the degree you are implying in your question. A big part of a relationship is not just the emotional attraction but the physical attraction. I think we all want the whole package: a guy who satisfies us both emotionally and physically (to the eye and to the mind). To be honest (as you've asked) I would most likely NOT date someone overweight just becuase I doubt there would be the physical aspect of the attraction. It's another thing if I'm already with someone and he gains weight...I am already comfortable enough to work together with him to live a better and healthier lifestyle.

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