by Teresa T.
Member since:
August 6, 2008

Crap!!!! Selene S. is leaving Gather... (Sigh...)

December 29, 2008 01:36 PM EST (Updated: March 22, 2009 04:26 PM EDT)
views: 407 | comments: 82

I logged on to Gather this afternoon to find the worse news in my email box.  Selene S. has decided to leave Gather, because the powers that be didn't respond to the harassment she received from another Gather member.

I know they are very slow to answer the members sometimes.  It took them over a month to answer me.  Folks...see if you can't get her to stay and wait until the New Year.  They are probably on vacation and I am sure they wouldn't allow someone to harass her like this...

This place will not be the same without her.  Sigh...

Please don't go Selene...  Please don't go...

I don't feel much like writing/posting anything happy today.  Sigh...

 

Update: I just read Selene's post again.  I don't think she is staying, because Chuck said that this was the offender's first offense and they don't remove members for a first offense.  They only remove members who have had multiple offenses.  So...she is leaving anyway.  Sigh...

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Comments: 82

Bridget ♥ Dec 29, 2008, 1:36pm EST
That's awful!
Vivian P. Dec 29, 2008, 1:37pm EST
this sucks !! and it is unfair
Carol B Dec 29, 2008, 1:38pm EST
That is terrible. I wonder who this person is that is harassing her.
Carol V. Dec 29, 2008, 1:38pm EST
No!!!!!!! I agree with you and Vivian -- it does suck and is unfair!!
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 29, 2008, 1:40pm EST
wow that is very sad to knwo that if we are being harrassed we cant get help from gather support. very scary
Bridget ♥ Dec 29, 2008, 1:41pm EST
I'm sure that the Gather staff is just now back in the office. I know they have been out since Christmas Eve. I hope she gives them a little longer to fix this and that she won't leave!
Jennifer W. Dec 29, 2008, 1:42pm EST
I guess she is gone because I could not get to her page now.
~*~ tinksmagic ~*~ ~ Dec 29, 2008, 1:43pm EST
No one should EVER harass another. There's no reason or excuse for it. And it shouldn't be tolerated. If you do not agree with or like someone, just block them, on either party's end.
The Red Headed Witch of Gather G. Dec 29, 2008, 1:43pm EST
I don't want Selene to go and received the same e-mail you have from her. However, I don't think this article is the right way to go about asking her to stay either.
Candy S. Dec 29, 2008, 1:43pm EST
that isnt good I hate to see people leave because of others.
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 29, 2008, 1:44pm EST
tink the problem is we can't block anyone from our pages.
Only inbox. THat sux
Kelly M. Dec 29, 2008, 1:46pm EST
I don't want to see her go!
☆ Æ’åitÄ¥ ☆ Dec 29, 2008, 1:47pm EST
Aww that's too bad! The harassment has gotten way out of hand - it's awful that Gather can't seem to do anything about it either.

Hopefully she'll come back...
Chuck McGuire, Gather.com Member Support Dec 29, 2008, 1:48pm EST
I'm sorry that Selene is upset. I will respond to her today. Something was reported to us on Saturday the 27th, while everyone was out of the office. MaryAnne is still on vacation, so I'm the only one here from Support. I'm still answering members who wrote to us on December 24th, but maybe Selene will stay if I bump her ahead in the line.
Teresa T. Dec 29, 2008, 1:51pm EST
Thank you Chuck! Thank you!
.* Sandi * Dec 29, 2008, 1:51pm EST
Please don't go Selene... Please don't go...
Anne E. Dec 29, 2008, 1:53pm EST
unfortunately they don't do anything about being harrassed. I hope she doesn't go either. I like the stuff she posts.
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Dec 29, 2008, 1:53pm EST
Chuck-- hopefully you guys can come up with a solution to issues like that of selenes. It is unfair to all of us to have to go through crap like this.
This is not highschool
April H. Dec 29, 2008, 1:55pm EST
WOW, Chuck, Thanks for commenting here. I hope you can change her mind.
Howard b. Dec 29, 2008, 2:03pm EST
I hate to see Selene go. She has so many friends here.I hope things can be fixed for her to stay. Because we hate to lose this friend.
Ivan N. Dec 29, 2008, 2:05pm EST
Afew months ago (six, maybe) a friend connection of mine left Gather for basically the same reason. I think Lady Neeetah has the answer for problems involving other Gather members. A way to block harrassers and stalkers from posts.

We can block e-mail, so why not problem causers as well?

Selene....don't leave us.
Kris P. Dec 29, 2008, 2:16pm EST
Teresa, I'm glad you posted this, I hope Chuck can get this taken care of for Selene.

Thank you in advance Chuck!
Donna Besso Dec 29, 2008, 2:27pm EST
This issue has to be addressed as quickly as possible. I don't want Selene to leave.
Author/Poet Jackie Stroud-Painter Dec 29, 2008, 2:32pm EST
That stinks! We dont want her to leave!
Maria W. Dec 29, 2008, 2:37pm EST
Oh nooooooo, please dont leave Selene.
I'm seeing a lot of this the last few days. Not long ago, I talked someone who was being stalked and harassed out of leaving. She has learned to deal with the person and seems to be okay with it. I cannot say that I would though.
Lee P. Dec 29, 2008, 2:51pm EST
How sad, I tried to ping her or send her a message to stay, but it won't let me.

I hate to hear that some people can be that mean and harrass someone until they just give up. No one needs that kind of abuse.

I have hurt some feeling on gather before, but I can promise you it was not intentionally. Sometimes the printed word does not relay the smile behind the words, I'm just now learning about LOL, I think the whold world knew but me.

Hope she changes her mind and stays.
Jessica S. Dec 29, 2008, 2:54pm EST
i really wish selene wouldn't go... i hope she changes her mind. it is exactly what those harrassers want! they want a major reaction to their actions. grrrrrrrrrr!
Laura C. Dec 29, 2008, 2:57pm EST
I hope she doesn't go too...she and I aren't connected, but I still like reading her content.
Elle L. Dec 29, 2008, 2:58pm EST
oh no. She shouldn't let the bullies win like that. I hope she changes her mind.
Teresa T. Dec 29, 2008, 3:02pm EST
How can we keep in touch with you? Will you give us some contact info?
carolyn b. Dec 29, 2008, 3:41pm EST
wow, that's not good
Myria H. Dec 29, 2008, 4:48pm EST
I don't know Selene but I am sorry that anyone is mistreated. What can we do??
Bill's Spirit Dec 29, 2008, 4:54pm EST
Harassment is such childish crap!!

I wish the bullies would stop chasing good people out of Gather's playground.

Dag Gone It !!!
kelldogg ! Dec 29, 2008, 5:47pm EST
:-(
Sandy (back in Ohio...blah!) Dec 29, 2008, 5:50pm EST
I am sad to see Selene leaving. I may not be as close to alot of the members as the rest of you. But the reasoning behind her leaving is very sad. I don't feel a mutlitute of people should have to go through being harassed before gather decides to get rid of them because it is their first offense. Sorry I don't believe it was first offense. Just the first one to be reported. There is a big difference. I am upset over theis.
Shirley U Understand Me S. Dec 29, 2008, 5:54pm EST
things like this are just too frequent in the world today....sorry it chased her away
Oh no! I will have to send her a message. I certainly hope Selene will change her mind.
Some things never change...same ol' Gather....how sad.
Ali C. Dec 29, 2008, 6:14pm EST
That sucks! I hope they kick the scumbag off first offense or not!
Jeana Hamilton Dec 29, 2008, 7:59pm EST
that is crazy, the email she got was aweful.
.* Sandi * Dec 29, 2008, 8:45pm EST
Thanks for posting to ~ commentsneeded.gather.com
Happy new year
Lacey K. Dec 29, 2008, 8:53pm EST
That does suck! She should be able to feel safe here! I swear, sometimes the powers that be here do a god-awful job...
vickey w Dec 29, 2008, 8:57pm EST
I think anyone who uses an article , names someone names to try to harass another member should get one chance and off they go.... I think gathers rules are to lenient... I think that if we mention someones names to insult or make fun of, we should have to leave....
I think the name calling needs to stop too... THis is not debate by calling people names, making fun of them or their looks, or their families... Its ignorance... this is childish...
Dan R. Dec 29, 2008, 9:03pm EST
Hey Selene, you know you have a lot of friends here. Just a few asses should not make you run from them. I hope you do stay, and maybe this can be fixed.
Esther staley Dec 29, 2008, 9:04pm EST
That is awful, it is a shame the people have to be ruide and harhasse other people.
Blessing to you all for your feelings, for standing up for Selema.
Esther Staley
~Lady Neeetah of California~Obama #44 W. Dec 29, 2008, 10:40pm EST
Ivan, thanks.

I most certainly DO have some very specific answers, as I have certainly been harassed quite a bit, more than anyone knows, but not something of which anyone would be happy to brag (experience in being harassed.)

I sent Selene a private email. I am certainly able to EMPATHIZE with her on this one. If she reads the email, I believe she shall reconsider leaving, as Selene is quite a fighter, a strong woman, reasonable, and logical.

We have been blessed to have her here, and it would be tragic to lose one with such talent, the heart of an angel, and so giving.

I suspect that Gather is going to come through on this one, and the culprit won't be around very much longer. Let's have patience on the outcome.

The "Fat Lady" has yet to sing.

Good night all.
~Lady Neeetah of California~Obama #44 W. Dec 29, 2008, 10:42pm EST
Gosh, forgive my manners: Teresa T. you were an absolute DOLL for putting this article up.

Thank you!
~Lady Neeetah of California~Obama #44 W. Dec 29, 2008, 10:44pm EST
All the more reason why Gather should implement BLOCKING options for its members' peace of mind,

safety

and security

as soon as possible.


Let us please continue to urge Tom Gerace of the necessity of this feature.

Thank you, all.
Stephannie H. Dec 29, 2008, 11:50pm EST
We will miss you Selene
Steph-in-NE ..... Dec 30, 2008, 1:36am EST
sorry to see her go,, I wish the old saying would work, yet I am not sure it will,,, one bad apple should kill the whole bunch,,,,
Janie E. Dec 30, 2008, 2:31am EST
That's terrible!!!! Selene, don't give in to the offender!!!
J W. Dec 30, 2008, 8:11am EST
Don't leave Selene. That is exactly what he wants you to do
Susy R. Dec 30, 2008, 9:47am EST
So sorry to hear this!!
Gretchen Lee Bourquin Dec 30, 2008, 12:26pm EST
It's sad when good people are punished for what bad people do
*LORA* M. Dec 30, 2008, 12:26pm EST
what harrassment
Angela A. Dec 30, 2008, 12:31pm EST
I'm really sad that Selene has left. It's because the Gather staff refuses to acknowledge harassment. On her case, I think he should have been booted off right away. Because as far as I know, he has harassed three members including her.
I hope I got get that kind of treatment. If I ever receive hateful email, and Gather does nothing about it, I would probably leave too.
Marilyn M. Dec 30, 2008, 1:41pm EST
But if people don't report the harassment, Gather doesn't know. It can appear that someone has only one offense when they've had multiple offenses, if others don't report.
Diana B. Dec 30, 2008, 2:20pm EST
Marilyn does bring up an important point about not reporting harassment. There needs to be a better system in place for those individuals who choose to harass others on Gather whether that means a warning, suspension of their account for specified time or what have you in order to get the point across. I'm sure that the Gather staff is not purposely avoiding dealing with the situation and it may take some time to figure out what the right course of action to take is, especially during this time of the year.
Nancy L. Dec 30, 2008, 4:12pm EST
I'm sorry Selene chose to leave, but I understand why. It would be nice if we understood Gather's position on this issue, but I doubt whether they will make any general announcement. I have reported one person who was using filthy language and insulting me for my comments on another person's post, and I suspect he got a warning from Gather because I got an apology from him.
Bob Cronley Dec 30, 2008, 4:22pm EST
Don't go, Selene! Someone else switched Gather accounts because she was being harassed, too. Very sad.
Mooch -. Dec 30, 2008, 7:04pm EST
I'm sorry this is happening, unfortunately it will happen, I hope that Selene will change her mind and stay.

Mooch
Teresa T. Dec 30, 2008, 7:08pm EST
Selene is now officially gone. All the posts of the incident have been deleted. The three comments she made here on this post ~ deleted. All the comments on the two posts have been deleted. All almost 4,000 pings ~ deleted. All her pictures ~ deleted. The only thing that remains of Selene is a message that says..."Thanks friends..." Comments that were posted prior to the two posts about the harassment still remain. (Only her comments concerning the two harassment posts were deleted.) And last...but not least...her friends list still remains. Other than that...Selene has officially left the building. Goodbye my friend. You shall be greatly missed. :(
Claudia (kitty-cat) K. Dec 30, 2008, 9:19pm EST
It is very important to report these guys to the authorities. Every time you see something wrong, you should report it to the authorities. I have been doing it ever since I started networking on these sites. These nutsos should not get away with this stuff. In the past two weeks, I think I have reported two people on Gather, and I am forever doing it on Myspace, because there you really have your worst offenders.
Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Dec 30, 2008, 9:56pm EST
Thanks for sharing on Helping out one another
Tee B. Dec 30, 2008, 10:00pm EST
As a newbie, that is hard to hear that someone can go undisciplined after doing something inappropriate.
Dorian Kirk Dec 30, 2008, 10:31pm EST
i was harassed by a childish fool on here once too.. but she lost her battle. Selene should stay.
Darin Waugh Dec 31, 2008, 11:42pm EST
Yea, this is too bad! I hope someone knows her personally who can convince her to come back!
Teresa T. Jan 1, 2009, 12:46am EST
Her account has now been removed as of today. So there is no trace of her now. Even her comments in your posts have also disappeared. So...maybe after some time she will come back.
Janell R. Jan 1, 2009, 1:33am EST
This saddens me as well. Selene was such a bright spot on Gather who often made me smile.
Patti M. Jan 1, 2009, 7:54am EST
Sele say it isn't so. PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
René Allen Jan 1, 2009, 1:18pm EST
Well -- this is very, very sad to SEE on Gather continually. I just popped in here a little more this week, and this is all I am hearing about -- people being harassed by others on Gather. . .

I am sorry to see Selene leave here. She is just one of so many who have left because of situations like this. Very good people, good writers, extremely talented and gifted MATURE ADULTS have left Gather because of harassment, slander, obscene language, and foolishness.

Selene is my friend, and I hate to see her leave. I hope that Gather will handle her situation, they are very good at taking care of matters like this as far as I know. Chuck has been very helpful to me personally. And there are many other Gatherites here that are very considerate, understanding and helpful.

Thanks for telling us all what has happened Teresa ~ I would probably not have known otherwise ~ I have a sea of emails.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. And as Gather Members, WE should not allow anyone to harass anyone else on this Site.

PEACE in 2009.
Pam S. Jan 3, 2009, 9:02am EST
She will be missed.
Jeff H. Jan 3, 2009, 7:08pm EST
I wasn't on her friends list but liked to read her stories. It's too bad. Gather has lost somebody with a real gift.
Allyssa E. Jan 14, 2009, 4:38pm EST
Hopefully that person will learn from their mistakes and not harrass anyone again. Sorry to see it's made someone leave this nice community. :\
babsie wabsie Jan 17, 2009, 11:10am EST
i think this is horrible. it's sad that people can't get along but to harass someone into not feeling comfortable enough to stay part of the gather community is terrible. the harrasser should be the one leaving
Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Mar 23, 2009, 6:03pm EDT
That is unfair.
sandesh b. Apr 22, 2009, 7:08pm EDT
thnx for posting

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