13 more days and we will have an empty nest once again!

    For those that don’t know, about a year ago my significant other’s daughter moved in with us.  It was supposed to be a temporary thing until she and her friends found a place to rent.  I thought that it would be a great chance to get to know her and since it was temporary, how hard could it be, right?

    Many foolish endeavors have started with that phrase, “How hard could it be?” and this was no exception.  I do not have children and do not plan on ever having children.  It is just something that didn’t quite get wired right with me, but this was the 19 year old daughter of the man that I love, she was an adult, more or less, and a great opportunity to clear the air, get to know her and maybe even know him better through her.

    Then it got better and even longer……..they never found a place, the roommates/friends dropped out of the picture and time passed.  I thought that I was bad at that age, but I hope that I wasn’t that bad.  Turns out she is a slob, stays out until all hours, often getting home after he has left for work, doesn’t do dishes, but loves to cook elaborate meals at midnight, considers the washing machine her hamper, the dryer her iron, works, but always seems to need gas money, and I could go on.  She is a fun and nice gal, but I think she sees him as her pocketbook and me as her maid and her grocery store.  (I don’t mind going to the store on foot like I do, but the lists she leaves are insane!)

    This was challenging to say the least and while it never threatened his and my relationship, his parenting skills and her behavior has threatened my sanity on many occasions.  (There were days that I literally just couldn’t even come out of our room.) It seems that he has the hands off approach to dealing with her and just gave up long ago in trying to set rules and sometimes boundaries.  I spent a couple of months frustrated because I thought by venting to him that he would then turn and have a heart to heart with her about the issues.  Turned out that he wasn’t and he expected me to deal with her directly.  (he should have told me that!)  Well, I tried, but nothing really changed.  I am not good with confronting people and also feel that as a not even step parent yet and a mere 15 years or so older than her, it just isn’t my place.  Anyway, we went on…

    Good news!  She and her cousin found a place!  Bad news! It isn’t available until August and her cousin has to be out of the dorms in May and needs a place to stay until then.

    And then there were two.

    I hate to say it, but the second one is no where near as bad.  Are you allowed not to like your step children?  That seems like a really evil thing to say, but there it is.  This one actually does dishes, keeps normal hours, doesn’t spend money like water and even eats dinner with the two of us on occasion.  (Is it possible to pick your step children? I want that one.)

    Still, one more body in this house has been a bit much.  I used to have this nice clean bathroom and now I have all of my toiletries on our dresser.  Some were expensive and disappearing at a rate that I couldn’t afford and there were times that I couldn’t even get to them in the bathroom.  (note to self: three women in one bathroom is never a good idea!)

    My time as a 24/7 parental figure is  coming to a close.  My house is a wreck and my nerves are shattered, but one thing has become crystal clear.  It is a hard job being a parent and something I am just not cut out for. 

    So, on August 8th, we will once again have the house all to ourselves…..at least until they get hungry or need to do laundry.  I am thinking of changing the locks!

    P.S. if someone can explain to me how one can have money for fake nails, trips to Disneyland, etc. but not gas money, I would be grateful!

    P.S.S. To my step dad-I am so sorry for everything that I may have done and thanks for putting up with me!