Raeanna - The Bravest Woman I've Ever Known

On the first day of class, I noticed her because she was wearing an Army National Guard T-shirt.  Strange how it drew us together.  I asked her if she was in the Guard.  My father had recently retired from the Army.  I thought we might have something in common.

 "I'm a medic," she said.  "I can't afford college, so I joined the Guard.  I love it."

We became fast friends.  She lived on campus and I commuted, but we found time to study together and just hang out.  I taught her how to study.  She taught me how to relax.  She was alive and generous.

After graduation, we kept in touch via email.  She still had a year of college and I moved away to graduate school.  She also went to graduate school.  I was so proud of her.

  "I couldn't have gotten good grades without you," she told me.

Thanks, Nana, but you gave me more.

I missed her wedding and the birth of her first child.  The physical distance between us was great, but we were close.  She was a fantastic pen pal.  Raeanna dropped out of graduate school to care for son who had medical problems.  A year later, she informed me that she was pregnant again.  She loved being a mom.  Soon afterwards, she related a different type of news.

Her words came via email, but when I read them, I heard her voice.  "They found a lump in my breast.  What should I do?  I'm scared."

"Get treated.  Find a good oncologist.  Get a second opinion."  Lame advice.  Why couldn't I do more?

When her diagnosis came, it was worse than expected.  "It's an aggressive cancer.  It's already metastasized.  They don't think I have more than a year to live.  They say if I abort the baby, they can treat the cancer more aggressively and I might buy more time."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to fight.  And I'm going to hold my baby in six months."

She was brave.  I was a wreck.  Twenty-nine.  That's too young.

Throughout her treatment, she remained upbeat.  "I might lose my hair but at least I won't have to shave my legs!" 

Oh Raeanna, you're so brave.

"They're watching the baby carefully.  He's fine."

"I'm glad."  But what about you? 

The baby was born healthy.  Raeanna held him.  She was so sick by then that she needed assistance, but she held him.  That's what she wanted. 

She sacrificed precious moments of her own life to bring a child into the world.  What could be more heroic?

Two months later, I received an email from Raeanna's mother.  "She's leaving us.  The doctor says she has less than a week.  If you want to say good-bye, you'd better come now."

I didn't go.  I should have gone.  But I didn't want to see my hero weak and frail.  I wanted to remember her with that infectious smile in that Army National Guard T-Shirt.

I miss you.

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