A Sad Weekend

Karen,
I am so sorry that your family is going through so much. I understand the hard decisions that we must make when we are caring for our loved ones. Each decision is unique and must be made on an individual basis. I know how hard these decisions are and I am in your corner if you need someone to talk to.

Oh, I am sorry that he was hurt, and that your family has had to make this decision in crisis mode and so quickly. Your poor mom!

But I am very glad that you have found a good facility for him.

That is very good that there are places that can care for him properly.

You made the right decision Karen. My grandfather had alzheimer's so I know what you are going through. I agonized about telling him about his son's death, (my father) but ultimately a family decision was made to not tell him. Alzheimer's is cruel, but my grandpa was lucky in that he didn't react violently in his confusion, he was just such a sweet man. He was sweet before this. Hopefully your Dad will get the loving treatment in a fine nursing home the way my dad and grandpa got. Hugs to you Karen!

Im sorry for your family , no matter whether you want to put them in a home or not its not an easy choice,and I know its hard,we can always say wed never do that to our parents,but sometimes its out of our control and sometimes its whats best, and I'm deeply sorry for this,and pray he will stay healthy.

I'm sorry things have progressed this far, but you always knew they would. You didn't abandon him. His mind abandoned him. You did what you could, but the time has come for you to step aside and take a break and let professionals who deal with this all the time step in and lend a hand. You know he'll be well taken care of and be made comfortable...and you can see him whenever you'd like. At this point, know you did your best...and he would more than likely prefer this so he's not a further burden on the family, though he has no clue what's going on now. It's for the best.

Karen...my heart goes out to your father and all of your family. I know how difficult Alzheimer's is and I also know that having him live apart from you all is hard to do. I know that he will get adjusted to it in time as will you all. I will keep all of you in my prayers, and don't feel bad about the decision you all had to make. It is for the best and he will be taken care of. You all have been there for him and will continue to be there for him...and somewhere deep inside he knows this. HUGS..

Sounds like you had no choice. My Mom had alzheimers and ra, so she stayed in bed....and didn't move around. I kept her and my Dad out of nursing homes until the doctor had a social worker insist that he go in one for 4 days. I felt trapped. It was only for 4 days. They messed up on his meds. I had it here but they can't give it from here....I called the doctor and got the back up doctor and he thought my panties were in an uproar over nothing. Dads ammonia levels went too high...he had a stroke and died two days later...

Moral of the story...keep a good eye on your Dad...and scream real loud...fuss fuss fuss

See hospitals have their on pharmacys...nursing homes don't...and if you don't push the staff...they don't move...they don't always realize the impact missing the medicine can have...

Oh and how do I know for sure... I was in a nursing home in 2006 and they couldn't get my antidepressant medicine... on the 4th day I blew about it and they made the drugstore make a special trip to get it too me. See, I was so messed up anyone in my shoes would be depressed....but please...why would you not see how important getting me the meds is?

Now imagine if I wasn't 52 and of sound mind....and able to raise a fuss...

There are great people working in these places, but the people running them try to save money and do not keep up with staffing enough. When they don't staff enough, people make messes and need showers...then more people make messes and the whole night the whole place becomes a disaster and everyone gives the aides a hard time...just because 6 people are doing the job of 10.

Don't feel bad, you can only do the best you can, but be pro-active for him and keep an eye on what they are doing for him...you may want to grease the rails too. My husband would stop and buy hot donuts and drop them off at the nursing desk for everyone...and I always thanked everyone...and showed an interest in everyone. Being nice pays off...but you have to keep an eye out...as he can't complain...he won't remember.

You and your family did the best you could, now you need to be his eyes and ears, okay!

It's hard to watch him deteriorate, it was hard to watch my Mom... but all you can do is love him and smile and not let him see your tears...

Karen,your father will be well taken care of. There is nothing wrong with putting him somewhere where he can get the proper care and you and the rest of your family will be able to get some rest. It is very difficult to take care of an elderly parent.

I don't think anyone should say "never" because sometimes you have to do what is best for the parent. They need to be safe, and the family needs to be free of some of the worry so they can just love them. You did the best thing, and my prayers are with you all.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I'm sure you have made the decision based on what is the best for your dad.

I'm sorry, Karen. I know you didn't want it to come to this.

You and your family are in my prayers.

My Dad was in the Hospital when they sent him to a Nursing Home, not my home. All the visiting nurses thought I did a good job. He got several bedsores to the bone from hospital stays and they healed under my care. I was heart broken they moved him to a nursing home so I know how you feel.

Karen I am so sorry you have to deal with this, even if this is for the best I know this had to be a hard decision to make. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, take care.

Unless someone in the family happens to be a RN with time on their hands, most of them could not even BEGIN to give the proper care to someone who is as ill as that... You did the absolutely the right thing... I will hold out good thoughts to you and yours... Hang in there, Karen...

Sounds like things are tough...I'll keep you in positive thoughts!

Karen, your family is in my prayers. It's a very difficult decision to make. I think you made the right one. We had to put my grandmother in a nursing home. She'd taken a fall as well and lived on the third floor of an apartment building with very steep steps. We didn't want her trying to leave the apartment and falling down all that way. We also had to put my mother in the same facility before she passed. She'd started with breast cancer but it had spread so quickly to other parts of her body. She couldn't walk anymore. My thoughts are with you.

It is a difficult decision, but you did what you felt was right. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Karen, you and your family are to be commended for the years you did care for your father. But, my family had the same decision to make with my aunt and uncle and it is diffcult but when 24/7 care is needed, no other choice could be made then the one your family made. Prayers for you and also for your father to find comfort in his surroundings.

Karen,
I am just stopping in to see how you are doing. I know how hard this can be on you and your husband. I am here if you need a friend to talk to.

Karen,

I'm sorry to hear that your family is going through this rough time. My wife's grandfather suffered from Parkinson's disease for several years. I know it's not the same, but we all saw the effects of a degenerative disease firsthand. Our prayers are with you.

It would be a very difficult decision and from the way it sounds it is for the best...and you can visit anytime as you said. We will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers on this end.

This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least ten comments, and as such has been removed from Comment Speedway! Congratulations, and check out this week's Help These Articles!