My 20's something story

Well, I guess it's time I bared my soul and told a few of you about my life. I guess the most interesting period would be after my honorable discharge from the Army. I certainly was not the same person I had been two years previously. I went to see old friends, but found we had little in common. Their lack of respect for my military service made me angry. One old friend started making fun of me and I grabbed him by the neck a pinned him to the wall. He was frightened, then angry after I let go. I just left and really felt alone.

I visited an old girlfriend who had gotten pregnant and had had a baby boy while I was gone. She lived in on the first floor of an apartment complex that was filled with people on welfare. She was bitter and I felt sorry for her. She was pretty, but she sensed my pity with disdain and this killed any chance of romance. I'll never forget my last visit to see her. There was a drug crazed man with a huge knife chasing kids down her street. When he saw me, he charged at me and I easily subdued him and was about to break his arm when the police arrived. He had reason to be crying out in pain the way I was holding him. I let go and the police took him into custody. They briefly questioned me and let me go,

Later, I could barely believe I had acted with such violence. I could have easily seriously injured that man. It sobered me to realize I had no fear in being attacked by a man with a huge knife, Why did I stand there and defend myself? I could have easily ran behind a car and avoided any possible contact. I did not go back to visit my old friend for two weeks. I finally called her up to her I was coming over. She said, 'Do you think you're too good for me?' I put down the phone and realized there was nothing I could do to overcome her bitterness. I decided not to go and see her. I never did go to see her again.

I started university classes with no idea what I wanted to do. I was a bit amused at how fake a lot of students were in class. They were trying to show they were cool, but were about as fake as a tiger without stripes. That some girls would coo over this pretense just made me wonder if they had any sense of reality. It was the disco dance craze era and most of the men came to class looking like they wanted to dance. I wore jeans and a T-shirt, I didn't have any wish to emulate these goofs.

If you talk about attitude, I had it in spades. The professors noticed me because I stuck out like a sore thumb. I think some of the professors thought I was a problem, but seemed quite relieved when I visited them and talked about the subject of the class, instead of trying to butter them up. (one professor actually told me this). I made zero effort to fit in with other students. I thought they were fakes and felt only disdain towards them.

The outcast role certainly did not hurt my dating life. I must of had over twenty girls ask me out for a date. There were weeks where I went out with five different girls. It was like a male Disneyland. I would say probably more than 25% couldn't wait to get me in bed. I actually grew tired of this. Almost every girl, finding out I wasn't a Henry Winkler type, decided they didn't want to continue dating me. It is possible they found out I was dating other women and did not want to date me. I didn't care.

Sex is nice, but I was looking for a woman who could accept me as me with no fantasy. Most of the women I dated were really disappointed to find out I had a brain. When I would talk about Emerson, Piaget, or James, their eyes would gloss over with indifference. We had nothing in common above the sheets, or in that of real life. After all the fake love, I was not quite prepared for the next woman I met. To this day, our relationship leaves me with a hollow feeling of confusion.

She was an Oriental woman who had been dating one of my very few male friends. This guy came from a rich family and he was turned off to the fakeness he said, Drips like the carnage of dead dogs.' He was a philosophy major and we became good friends. I got along well with his girlfriend and never thought of her as dating material. I was shocked when my friend told me she wanted to go out with me. He told me they had an amicable parting and it would be okay for me to date her. He then said, 'If you get in her pants, you'll be the first.'