My Mighty Star- Another mother Lost....

I met my might star, Jennifer Varner when I was dating her brother at the age of seventeen. We did not like each other at first, no surprise though. We were too much alike to get along at first. But it did not take long for her to steal my heart in friendship, even after my relationship with her brother was over. We were inseparable for many years, doing everything together. We never fought over anything and we were always there for each others problems and mistakes. she never looked down on me for the mistakes I made in my life and was always there to pick me up when I fell down. I had to move from Washington state to Florida with my Fiance in 1997, she ended up pregnant right after I left. She made the trip down for my wedding and was of course my Maid of Honor. Jen taught me how to smile I have always said. Whenever anything makes me smile big, I see her smiling back at me. Every time. I would not know what a true, goes through your heart smile was if it was not for her. She was in a terrible car accident in April of 1999, right before my 21st birthday and just a month after hers. Leaving her infant son behind. We talked on the phone all of the time and ALWAYS ended our conversations with I miss you and I love you. I was devastated to say the vary least, brought down to my knees in a split second. Every year since her accident I buy a balloon and write a personal message to her on it. I say whatever I need to for that year, from I miss and love you to I wish you were here for me to talk too.  I go outside into the open alone and cry for my loss and talk to her, then I release my balloon and watch it float away up into the Heaven's, to her. A message delivered. I talk about her all of the time to others, whenever someone is down there is always a story about Jen that helps to bring them up again. I also use her as a "sounding board" to talk with when I need some advice that I am sure I will come up with the answer she would have given me. She will always and forever be in my heart and in my life. My children know her picture and know how much she means to me, even though she is in Heaven with God. As long as she is in my heart and in my head she is in my life, forever.