Mary O’Reilly was a good hearted soul and maker of tasty scones that had a common touch in any a brown bag lunch. Mary it might be said was a perfectionist and refused to make scones without the proper ingredients, so when the water lines were broken, she grabbed a subway token and off to the market she went to buy bottled water. She soon found the shelves empty and this led to her scones becoming spectacular.
Mary was an expert on mono-cultured potatoes and scones. She realized without water she could not make French fries with crinkles on. However, for the scones she needed only a teaspoon of water, so she went next door to the church and that’s where it all started. The Priest was in the Confessional and the Holy Water was bubbling in a small fountain. Mary saw opportunity and got several containers with lids and filled each with a month's supply of Holy Water.
Mary’s cousin Mary had seen what she had done and wondered if she should tell a Priest to get more of her countless sins pardoned. She decided instead to follow Mary home, then asked her boyfriend Tom to peep in the window to see what Mary was sinfully doing. Mary of course was making scones with clothes on. Tom's report to Mary had reverberations because Mary liked to gossip with reservations. Soon the whole town wanted Mary’s scones like an addiction or a habit. Everyone said they contained a blessing, but dagnabit, Mary started speaking Pig Latin and saying bu bu* for this was Karma cosmic action for any sin and boo boo.
Mary was soon called a criminal for selling scones with ill-gotten ingredients. There was some pretense that thought Mary’s scones contained a bless-ed sacrament. Quite a few scone eating sinners had their stomach’s pumped and then confessed Mary’s scones tasted heavenly. They were taken and put on a rack until they gave a pretentious confession posthumously. Rumors grew that Mary had cast spells and was bewitched and Holy Water was the reason some of her scones were not burnt, but crisp. Of course you’re welcome to believe this.
Mary was somewhat contrary to this whole affair unless you, the reader, have something to add or share.
* bu bu is how the oink oink sound is said in Japanese.
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Comments: 52
But, you have given a new definition to the expression "go fly a kite." (food fight in the taco shop.)
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
and others wanted to stone her.
"Stone the sinner scone supplier"
screamed one and all,
because they were jealous you see,
of the "holy this and holy that",
Mary made with the heavenly water..............
(("3 hail mary's and bathe in the water, never to make scones causing scorn again", said the priest, who then had to hail a cab, to go buy more water, as he had mysteriously , or not, run out of water..................
Now I think the scones turned out so great because the Holy Water was Bubbly Water "(the Holy Water was bubbling in a small fountain") and everyone knows the French like to make crepes with Bubbly Water because it makes them light and crisp...
The Evil Addiction is TEA! Ask Magi :)
Featured in Gather Writing Essentials, Monday, MWE.
Thank you,
Marilyn, Monday Editor, who's having a ball with all of these.
Those two = trouble? Big-time!
I've not had any type of alcohol for over a month. I had a tiny glass of beer 33 days ago. After I looked longingly at the golden liquid, I drank it and said, 'Yuck.' It was American beer. It has alcohol, but little taste. Give me beer drawn from wooden casks and I'll be in the horizontal position soon.
About fruits of my labor. Well, I cannot claim credit for picking the grapefruit that I did eat. Much better than beer in case you decide to do a taste test.
I love it and I would really like to
try one of those scones!!!
Or maybe some of your evil addiction with
whatever it is that you add to it????????