Some humorous items

I got a chuckle from these when I read them in my email.

A new student had joined the class and the teacher asked him if he knew his numbers.

"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."

"Good. What comes after three."

"Four," answered the boy.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven."

"Very good," said the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A jack," was the response.   

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy voice, I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech.

"Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"

Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed. "I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter named Susan."

"Gosh, Mom," came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd be this mad."   

When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS".Coincidence?    

A junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble.

Arriving home from work one night, he informed her,"I finally discovered why I've been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago, and I just learned today that I've been sitting in the wastebasket."