Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from the "US "
21. Tries to use credit cards in a roadside hotel.
20 . Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health conscious.
19 . Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he
will say Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far is possible
(but deep inside multiplies by 43).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead repeats "Zee" several times, and if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11 . Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8 . Avoids eating spicy food.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza instead of Dosa.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
Asks questions etc. about India as though its his first visit to India
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important ones:
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways
by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
The Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ..." or "When I was in US..."
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Comments: 8
It is true for any one who spends substantial time there. Everything in the US is so systematic that it becomes second nature, then when one gets home everything else is chaos.
and then had to stop! Cos, I've been in the "US" for far too long - O, dear, I do wonder what fun the folks back home are going to make of me !!!
(I REFUSE TO DRINK DIET COKE THOUGH!)