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by Jessica S.
Member since:
July 15, 2008

Christmas Evening Chat: Anyone Up For It??

December 25, 2008 07:21 PM EST (Updated: December 25, 2008 07:22 PM EST)
views: 51 | comments: 125

I'm feeling a little down and alone this evening.  Chat with me!  I know there are some others lurking around Gather tonight!  :)

Let's hang out!

Expand Tags: christmas, chat, life, anything, random
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Comments: 125

Beth - Doing God's work Daily J. Dec 25, 2008, 7:22pm EST
I am in out and trying to catch up with comments.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:23pm EST
me too, beth... just hanging out trying to stay busy instead of lonely
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j - Frugal Mom - r. Dec 25, 2008, 7:26pm EST
I'm not really up for a chat, as I'm about to go back to bed. I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas though, even though I know it must be rough this year.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:27pm EST
thank you, sweetie... i hope you're feeling better soon!
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:28pm EST
I'm here. Spending a quiet evening, waiting for an old time movie to come om
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:29pm EST
It was a nice day--I always enjoy being around the grandkids and I always enjoy coming home to a glass of wine and some down time
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:29pm EST
do you know why you're feeling dowqn? Holidays can do that to you.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:30pm EST
yes, it's a quiet evening here, too, mary. i'm watching an old movie on Turner Classic Movies right now. :)
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:31pm EST
just feeling lonely because my husband is not here this year... feeling a little anxious with my anxiety disorder, too... just not the best christmas this year, i guess....

did your grandkids have a good christmas? did santa bring them some good gifts?
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:31pm EST
I'm waiting for Meet John Doe--I think it's Barbara Stanwyck and Gary Cooper. I've done with Christmas movies.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:32pm EST
Teh kids always have a good time. I know what it's like not to have a husband when you're younger. My husband was military and gone for a year a time twice
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:32pm EST
Anxiety disorder? One of my daughter's has that problem sometimes.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:33pm EST
yeah... i'm just trying to look forward to next year and counting the blessings i do have now. :) don't you love those old movies??! they just make me happy.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:33pm EST
She also has had panic attacks. It's interesting because she knows she has food allergies but doesn't associate the disorder with food.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:34pm EST
i've had anxiety since i was a child... panic attacks and such... sometimes i'm okay, but sometimes it flares up if i'm stressed out...
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:34pm EST
Do you have any family around you?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:34pm EST
i'm mainly kind of OCD about public places... worried about getting sick or something happening to me when i'm away from home.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:35pm EST
I'm very big into using the power of our minds, using meditation, affirmations, and just learning to feel things the way we want them to be. It takes a bit of practice but I find it works.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:35pm EST
no, my family is 2 hours south... i was there yesterday with them, but chose to come home because my anxiety was just getting the better of me... i feel safest here. ya know?
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:35pm EST
That's what happens to my daughter. She's afraid of having a panic attack in public.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:36pm EST
yes, most of the time i try to use cognitive therapy... reversing my self talk... you know, instead of saying "oh no! something bad is going to happen!" you say to yourself, "if something bad does happen, you will be okay!"
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:36pm EST
yeah, the longer i've struggled with anxiety/panic, the more people i find with the same issues... it's much more common than some people think
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:36pm EST
Although she did take her two kids and go up to another one of my daughter's for the holiday. I talked to her earlier and she's anxious to get home where she feels comfortable. I"m sure you know what that is.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:38pm EST
I hope your daughter has a good time and she doesn't feel too anxious. I do know exactly what it's like... It's almost as if you don't want other people to notice your anxiety and feel like they have to single you out or worry about you or something...
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:39pm EST
It's a shame that people think you can change your problem because it is basiclly mental but it is so much more than that. I t
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:40pm EST
My PC is acting funny, taking a long time to do it's thing.

Do you ever wonder if it could be a past life thing? I dont believe or not believe in past lives but boy it sure explains a lot of stuff.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:40pm EST
i do come across people who seem to think "just get over it" is what's gonna magically make the anxiety go away...
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:41pm EST
Jessica, I just wrote an article about depression etc., sorry I can't remember if you commented or not. It is getting to be that time when my brain starts shutting down.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:41pm EST
i do believe that! i believe that when we are born, we chose our life... we have lessons we have to learn during this life... and sometimes it takes a few lives to learn all of those lessons...
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:42pm EST
you did, chana? i don't think i've seen that yet... i don't think i'm exactly depressed... just struggling with my anxiety disorder this time of year... but extreme anxiety/panic attacks can lead to depression sometimes
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:42pm EST
Oh good because I think your situation is connected to a previous life
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:43pm EST
So you believe in Karma?
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:43pm EST
Something tells me you had to hide in a previous life, in fear for your life/
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:44pm EST
I also talked a little about stress/panic disorder and insomnia. I have those too.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:45pm EST
Hi Chana, I hope you don't think I'm strange but these thoughts are just coming into my consciousness.
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:45pm EST
I have a couple of online friends that are really haveing a hard time with depression right now. So it was inspired by them.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:46pm EST
I'm picking up 1858, heaven knows why, West VA, something to do with coal mines.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:46pm EST
Chana! That was a great article! You said some of the things that I try to say or that I think without writing down... It's hard to explain anxiety/panic/depression to those who have not experienced it. By the way, has your kitty come home?
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:46pm EST
Hi Mary, Strange? What thoughts?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:46pm EST
i definitely believe in karma, mary
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:46pm EST
Chana, can you send me the link to your article? I know a few people who have a really hard time with depression
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:47pm EST
hmmm... i have family frome west virginia, and my great grandfather was a coal miner... my memaw (his daughter) passed away, and i miss her really bad
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:47pm EST
Chana, thoughts about previous life for Jessica. The thoughts are just popping
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:48pm EST
No Jessica, I have gotten to the point where I don't think I will see her again. She will be the fifth one we have lost this year. Two from old age, one during childbirth and the other we have no idea what happened to him. He just died. hubby was really overcome over losing him.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:48pm EST
Oh my- making a connection like that always unnerves me a bit--I've done past life readings for people a long time ago and always got blown away by the connections. Haven't done any in a long, long time.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:50pm EST
Rather than a past life it could be a genetic memory connection. I know those exist
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:50pm EST
chana, that is just too sad... i know what it's like when something happens to a pet... they are like my family... i have two cats myself

mary... that is just so strange that west virginia and coal mining came up!
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:51pm EST
whenever i'm feeling really down, i always wish that i could call my memaw... she grew up really poor in west virginia... you know that song "coal miner's daughter?" that pretty much describes her life... she was such a big influence in my life. (my mom's mother)
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:52pm EST
I agree about West VA and coal mining. Don't ask me where it came from. I just know it was strongly coming into my thoughts
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Rebecca [Future Teacher] Dec 25, 2008, 7:52pm EST
I'm in and out on gather. I hope you have a better evening, take care
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:53pm EST
You can talk to her you know. One of my son't died two years ago and I talk to him and it gives me peace--I don't pretend he is there but I like to think maybe he hears me.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:53pm EST
that makes me feel good, though, mary! like my memaw is here... even if it is just in my own subconscious
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:53pm EST
thanks, rebecca!
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:54pm EST
Did your memaw's nam start with a G?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:54pm EST
oh! i'm so sorry about your son, mary! i do try to talk to her sometimes... hoping that she will hear me and give me a little strength...
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:55pm EST
no, her name was kathleen
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:55pm EST
Actually Mary you are reminding me of the very first article I wrote on Gather. I have a thing for Scarlett O'Hara. Tough and beautiful. Maybe I was like that if I had past lives.
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 7:55pm EST
hello all, how are you?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:56pm EST
oh, chana! i have watched that movie so many times, and i LOVE that character of scarlett... she is so strong and just does what she has to do
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:57pm EST
hi netty! just chatting, how are you?
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:57pm EST
Chana, could be or perhaps Margaret Mitchell. She knew Scarlett better than anyone
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 7:57pm EST
Hi netty, did you have a nice Christmas day?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 7:58pm EST
that's true, mary... maybe scarlett's character was mostly margaret mitchell's character! :)
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:58pm EST
Thanks Jessica, yes they are my babies. Hubby saw his son yesterday, I was hoping they would have a visit today. He is in the marines. Hubby came home and said You know what, he's a man. I said yes he has been for awhile, he's 25. And Hubby said No, now he is really a man.. His son was in full dress uniform. I swear I saw some tears in his eyes.
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 7:58pm EST
Hello Jessica and Mary
Yes I had a wonderful Christmas
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 7:59pm EST
Hello Chana
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 7:59pm EST
Hi Netty!
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:00pm EST
awww, chana! that is so great that he got to see his son! they DO look impressive in those full dress uniforms, don't they? my sister's husband is a marine.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:00pm EST
Probably, Margaret and Scarlet. When I was writing my novel, I couldn't seem to let it end and one of my daughters said it was because I identified with the main character and since he was getting ready to leave this lifetime, I didn't want to let go.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:00pm EST
what did you do for christmas, netty? get to see some family?
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:00pm EST
We had a very laid back Christmas, I am feeeling good, no stress at all..lol
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:01pm EST
How come I"m missing so much of the conversation between Jessica and Chana?
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:01pm EST
Family was here over the weekend, so quiet today
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:01pm EST
i've always wanted to write a novel, mary... lately, though, i've been thinking of writing my own memoirs... how hard is it to get published?
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:01pm EST
I love a man in uniform!
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:02pm EST
i don't know, sweetie! maybe try refreshing a few times...
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:02pm EST
Mary, you wrote a novel? What is the title?
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:02pm EST
don't we all, netty! lol!
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:02pm EST
Oh I found it with google...The House of Annon?
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Linda B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:03pm EST
Howdy, folks! Just stopping by and found this fascinating.

Every Christmas my son and I go to my parents' for 'the day' and then come home in the afternoon to rest, relax and otherwise veg out....my sister and her family are here this year and I simply couldn't stay there all day and visit. I needed some space and solitude. So we came home, I took a nap and my son just left to go back over there. I just can't face it. My food addiction/eating disorder has kicked into high gear and my body is yelling at me because of it. I can't get 'things' back under control in the middle of so much going on. My mother criticized my eating habits at the dinner table the other day--completely unprovoked, it came out of the blue--and I just can't shake off the effects of being humiliated that way. It's been progressively harder to be in the same room with her.

Just so sad....that she has an eating disorder for which she won't seek any kind of treatment and that I am letting her illness so strongly affect my efforts to deal with mine.

I think I just 'hijacked' your chat...but then again, maybe not. We're all at home alone on Christmas night for various reasons...does anyone have any experience in dealing with such family dysfunction?

Tears now....
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:03pm EST
ooooh!!! you googled her and found it!! lol!
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:04pm EST
The novel is "The House of Annon" and it's about how people learn to change their lives using the power within.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:05pm EST
Oh, Linda! How callous of her to make such a comment!!! Grrrr! Some people just have no couth! I know how you feel not being able to face people at a time like this, though... I'm kind of having the same issues with anxiety right now... just having panic attacks and anxiety and wanting to be alone rather than have people fuss over me when they really don't understand...
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:06pm EST
Linda, I"m an older woman, raised six kids, and I'm going to tell you, if your mother does that to you, stay away from her. She has no right to cause you so much pain.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:06pm EST
wow, mary! i'm going to have to read it now! i've always had ideas for books and have wanted to do some writing of my own, but i never know where to start.
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:07pm EST
"Hugs" for Linda, I think you did exactly the right thing by removing yourself from the situation.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:07pm EST
You stand up for yourself Linda and under no circumstances should you go back there until she learns to be a kinder person.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:08pm EST
Linda, maybe once the holidays are over, you could mention how hurt you were by your mother's comment to her..... some people are just so clueless they don't know how bad words can hurt sometimes
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Netty B. Dec 25, 2008, 8:08pm EST
I hear water running, Hubby is doing the dishes...tee hee
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 8:08pm EST
Actually Jessica I didn't get to see hiim. Hubby's dad is not fond of Jewish people and I try not to go where I am not welcome.
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:09pm EST
On the other hand, she struggles with her own issues and rather than find fault with herself she does it to you.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:10pm EST
WHAT!! Chana, that is horrible! Ew! I can't believe how f****** stupid some people are! poor you!
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:10pm EST
netty, you are lucky to have a man who will wash dishes lol! my hubby washes dishes too... he's not too proud to do "woman's work."
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M. Bradley McCauley McCauley Dec 25, 2008, 8:10pm EST
Two of my daughter's married Jewish men and I love them, the sons in law as much as the Chatholic ones. People absolutely drive me bananas with their prejudices.
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Sensational Sadie Sexy Senior Sitizen Dec 25, 2008, 8:10pm EST
Hi gals, Sadie is here.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:11pm EST
hi sadie! yay! got a little group of chatters going now!
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 8:12pm EST
I actually feel sorry for him Jessica. It is so sad to hate. It's bad for your spiritually, emotionally and physically plus you miss some great things in life.
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Jessica S. Dec 25, 2008, 8:12pm EST
chana, you should tell your hubby's dad that you're not very "fond" of prejudice people hmph!
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Chana M. Dec 25, 2008, 8:13pm EST
Sadie everytime I see you I think of The Beatles song.
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Sensational Sadie Sexy Senior Sitizen Dec 25, 2008, 8:13pm EST
This is getting slow. Perhaps it is time to republish.
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Priscilla (wishing I was in Costa Rica) ~. Dec 25, 2008, 8:13pm EST
hello everyone!
Merry Christmas!
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