It seems each day that passes the crankier I get, or that I'll need a reminder for something I'll forget. There's nothing right now I seem to have forgotten, but just give it some time and my wife will think I'm rotten and say in a few words I have a brain like a bird, or maybe it was birdbrain I heard. There are some things I don't understand, and I don't think it has a thing to do with age, or being a man. Like why do politicians not honor their pledge? Do they take their vows with their fingers crossed instead. They say they love our country and our citizens too, but do little to help us and treat us like we're fools. They've talked about border security since 2001, but our ports are still wide open, yet at airports we can't keep our shoes on. My toenails are growing cause I can't take clippers on the plane, but no one checks baggage loaded on the plane. They stand and give speeches then build bridges to nowhere. Maybe they think the middle class will someday move in there. Their eyes aren't wide open to ordinary citizens plight, but their hands are sure stretched wide for big donations that some try to hide. Oh they loved the money and a sound byte where they can grin, but when it comes to a vote they remember only those who give. So they pass laws and regulations to benefit a few and soon even vitamin supplements will be illegal for that's how they're serving you.
There are other things that simply pass me by, like why a bad hair day can cause a woman to act really wild. I'm not talking about those tapes advertised on TV, but the sky has fallen mentality that equates bad hair with misery. I comb my hair once a day and think it looks alright, but have seen women with one strand out of place become cold as ice. It's not my fault please blame the wind or anyone but me. I really think your hair looks nice, but you accuse me of lying. Now, I think I will switch subjects and now talk of E. D. It not a personal crisis as you'll soon plainly see. This E. D. is Elsie Duggan, also known as the Dandelion Queen. Now she is promoting goldenrods, which I think of as ragweed. Now I wonder if I should blame her for the allergies I had. I was stuffed up for over a week and it was pretty bad. Did she come to Michigan riding on the back of Billy's bike and plant her precious goldenrods, which would not be very nice? Other things I don't understand is why Sheila and Wilma too like to cover ants with caramel and chocolate goo. Or why Rita gives cellphones to her zebra bulls. I think she should set up a speaker phone for it must be hard to dial with a hoof. I don't understand why llama are so much better than sheep when you are counting and trying to fall asleep. I guess I should than Marge for letting me know this truth, but there is one problem, it's when the llama spit on you. I would go to the dry cleaners run by Barbara B, but she would tell me to drop my pants but I'm too shy in front of a lady. One other thing has puzzled me and it's the last thing I'll relate. I just can can't figure out how Donald eats so much chocolate cake.
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Comments: 45
The second paragraph made me laugh out loud.
I am in awe of your talent. Not only can you rant about a lot of truths and make a lot of sense as you do so, but you do it humorously and in rhyme. I don't know that I have ever read anyone who rants as well as you do.
I'm feeling down and I was way down!! I have bad hairs
day cause I have more than one hair on my head!heehehe
That 'Drop your pants' didn't mean you took them of on the
premises, just bring the pants in and drop them off!! LOL
And thank you for calling me a lady I liked that!! And Elsie
on the back of a bike? Too funny! Yeah, Donald I would like
a piece of chocolate cake once in a while too!!hehehehehe
Thanks William for sharing your rant with us I'm sure evey
one was tickled pink over it you rascal!! *smile*
Just Me
Barbie
sustenance to help with the writing of more rants.
Loved this William, as always.
I'm mad about lowly office staff that won't accept legal papers, people who draw up immunizations and then leave out the medicine that they were supposed to draw up, so that a 4 yr old has to go back for more shots, and then pizza people who throw my order slip in the floor rather than make my simple pizza. Oh yes, I am also ranting about massage therapists who cough all through your massage.
I can't do my rants in poetic verse though. You are the master of that skill!!
You can borrow this fellow if you want.
be stuffing his mouth with Marge's llamas' fur, and Norma needs to be careful eating Donalds chocolate cake, or she might be adding inches, lets hope its taller and not weight, and Sheila send some of that caramel over here to me, Tom Gerace is shutting
down tonight to fix us don't you see, well you know how that is as gather fixes go, instead of an improvement , things will probably be slow. Okay that is enough for me
I must get off before the shutdown, and if I lose this post of mine, Olay will not be able to erase the frown. (I added that because the one I did just before this disappeared, do you suppose the Gather gremlins are out already?)
I kept thinking though, what I tend to say about life until I break it down and remember to appreciate the small, good things about it.
Life Sucks And Then You Die
Good thing I am analytical enough to think it through and realize it doesn't.
I do not like my curly hair or the Medusa look when it is windy. LOL
"There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio -- every one is man-made." I do not know if this is true, but if so, I think the Ohio government should sue Minnesota for having 10,000 lakes and not sharing. As my grandson is fond of saying, "But grandma, that's NOT FAIR!"
I liked Carol's comment too about skipping ranting and going straight for screaming. I could have done that yesterday. I didn't know the government was going to come down against toenail cutting but I am sure it's on the way.
Bill your ranting has set me off and I'd better have a cold shower.
Are you going to make yourself a candidate for government? I'll swim the Rio Grande to come and vote for you
I'll vote for you, too, William, if you decide to run for office. I thought Fred would have to swim the Atlantic Ocean, though. How did he get into Mexico?
Hire some business people to run this country. After all it is a business, that should be ran like one. Not a bunch of fat cats liveing high on our money, making laws, they dont have to live by. Thats it. I have said my peice.