Saved by the alarm or Ants can make you scream

I had a dream the other day that I was visited by ants on holiday. They weren't the ants from my sidewalks. No these were different, being covered in caramel and chocolate. They said, 'Take me to your leader. The one wearing a thong.' I said, 'No one in a thong is around.' My neighbors saw what was happening and they called the news stations for this story. So, if you read on, you'll plainly see all that happened that day to me.

The ants held a huge conference in my front yard, so I could not go to the store in my car. Soon the TV stations were arriving and several reporters were questioning me. What could I say, or even suggest, except to say ants are a pest. A few ants had overheard my words and, by all accounts, they were disturbed. They started munching my front yard grass, then were really angry when I thanked them for that. They had done a very good job that was noticed by all involved.

Next thing I knew, lawn care services offered contracts, but the ants said no to that. So they offered fringe benefits of lots of sand, if the ants would cut lawns on a scheduled plan. I thought for sure this would be enough and that maybe I'd get a decent cut, but like usual I was wrong, for in flew their masters from Washington and Oregon both wearing stylish thongs.

They were not happy, so it seemed, for these ants had escaped from their factories. These women scolded, but did not abuse and the ants told them they were confused. It seems they had climbed in boxes to get some rest only to be loaded on a jet that flew them to Michigan and then they had hitchhiked to my front lawn and were rather shocked I wore not a thong.

The ants cut my lawn one more time and sang the Happy Bunny song in rhyme. They all seemed happy when they said goodbye, but my neighbors howled and some cried, 'Please don't leave we want you to stay' and some wore  thongs, it was a hot day. It was a scene I'd rather forget as I went inside and watched Mr. Ed. The ants then left and I was glad, but my neighbors said I was a cad. I saw them mowing lawns of green with finger salutes when they saw me.

The alarm clock buzzed and I rubbed my eyes. 'Strange dream', I said, but soon a new surprise. The doorbell rang, it was quite early. The man at the door was UPS delivery. I signed the form, he gave me a package and a card saying thanks, then I unwrapped it. I opened the box and found chocolate ants. They were not moving and I was glad. So, I went outside to get my morning newspaper and waved to a neighbor who seemed filled with anger. She waved back with her middle finger it seemed to me as the doze button on my alarm sounded and ended my dream.