Think Twice

This poem is based on true events reported in a local newspaper.

She loved him so much

She shot him twice

Left him once

For dead

In love’s name

Anyhow, he lived, somehow

Her guilt drove her to his hospital bed

From which he lunged for her throat

Angrily. He died clutching

Air

And she, her now

Twice smoking gun.

Comments: 15

sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Jul 21, 2007, 12:52pm EDT

How very sad - she'll pay the price for his abuse.

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Sue D. Jul 21, 2007, 12:58pm EDT

What made her go back to his bed? what kind of love is that?

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Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Jul 21, 2007, 1:19pm EDT

oohh....she should live him now..

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Edward Nudelman Jul 21, 2007, 1:29pm EDT

very visceral poem. the desparation of the moment is related in this well-constructed, sparse poem. The last three lines are superb.

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John F Walter Jul 21, 2007, 1:42pm EDT

You feel the mortal bond of these lovers in this poem in that desperate, breathless way you get at the climax of Francois Truffaut's Stolen Kisses. Not a wasted word, dramatically tight and the images swollen and blistering in my mind.
Excellent, Umar.

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Minakshi w. Jul 21, 2007, 3:36pm EDT

Short and yet so sharp. I could feel the pause between maybe..and maybe not...in the lines
'He died clutching

Air'
Visually stunning images that jump to be held longer...and cannot be snuffed out.

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Umar, Abu Nurain Jul 21, 2007, 8:52pm EDT

Thank you my friends and colleagues. The range of your responses tells me a lot about the poem's affect. There are so many paths this story could take and I think it gives us all pause when considering passion and love and what separates them as well as manifests when the mixture is too rich.

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Synchronicity W. Jul 22, 2007, 5:29pm EDT

wow...this sure is dramatic from start to finish! what a good idea to look at the newspaper for writing ideas.

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Denise- Marie Jul 22, 2007, 9:40pm EDT

Well done, indeed.

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Umar, Abu Nurain Jul 22, 2007, 11:33pm EDT

Synchronicity, you've got it! I've found incredible stories in the newspapers. Generally, they're just page fillers but incredible human dramas abound.

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Umar, Abu Nurain Jul 24, 2007, 2:00pm EDT

You're so right Judi. Anger burns the hand that feeds it.

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Denise- Marie Jul 24, 2007, 5:54pm EDT

This is a terrific idea for use in poetry workshops...headlines...

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Umar, Abu Nurain Jul 24, 2007, 6:07pm EDT

I think it might even go better in the workshop Denise if you used the stories that appear as space fillers. Small three and four paragraph stories. That's where the crazy America lives.

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