Lonely Journey

I apologize if this repeats any of the themes or thoughts found in my last major post.  Now on to the post!  I have found my journey to be a little lonely.  There have been periods along this road where I've had some companionship.  It truly makes the path a little easier to walk to have a few friends along the road.  There have been other times when I've really needed someone to be here and usually by some miracle they've appeared.  Other times, there has been no one around to cushion the blows.  At times my individual trail has been very difficult.  Heck, it's also been a bit depressing.

Yeah, the journey can be a bit rough.  When I was first finding out who I was, there was no one around.  You don't just wake up one day and bam your gay.  It takes time to accept who you are because until you do, you can't really expect anyone else to accept you.   There was no one around to talk too about what I was going through.  It would have been sweet to have had some kind of guidance during my teen years. I wanted someone to tell me that I didn't need to be ashamed of my sexuality.  I can honestly say that companionship has made the road a little easier.

Having someone around who understands how I feel or doesn't  judge is great.  You don't feel so alone knowing there are others going through some of the same things.  Having a friend makes a huge difference or at least it did for me.  I had friends who let me vent, allowed me to ask questions, and more importantly they helped me start to feel comfortable in my own skin.  Among the good times, there were hard times.  You know those times when you need or want someone there with you.

There were days and nights where I find myself wanting someone.  With age, I found myself wanting companionship more often.  I think it's because I'm more accepting of me.  Personally, the hardest days are those when I'm down.  I need that push at times.  Having a friend in my corner motivates me, gets me out, and encourages me.  There are nights when I crave someone's touch or hug.  Sometimes, we just need a shoulder to cry on or an outstretched arm to give us strength.  Truth is there isn't always going to be someone there.  We need to find friends wherever we can.

The journey hasn't gotten any less lonely.  It's gotten better.  I find that now I'm able to vent or reach out on my blog.  There are benefits to it.  I use to hide my sexuality behind a screen. Now, I am able to venture beyond the screen around certain people.  It's not perfect but its better.  Hopefully, things will improve for me.  I hope your journey is wonderful and beautiful.