An Interview with Hillary:

What is the purpose of the United States Constitution?

Ms. Bill Clinton: It is a symbolic thing really, rather like the flag. You just wrap yourself in it whenever you need to (intending, of course, to impress whoever you are talking to at that time) and also point to it as justification for any measure you support.

Does it (the Constitution) hinder you in any real way now or if you were to become President?

Ms. Bill Clinton: No, not at all. We as Democrats have "pretended" we care about that document and stretched it's meaning so thoroughly over the years that it's ability to restrain has fortunately been lost.

As a U.S. Senator, do you read legislation before you vote on it?

Ms. Bill Clinton: No, that is unnecessary and frankly a waste of time. I am able to rely on my woman's intuition and 35 years in politics to know what would be best for me.

Critics say that you control your interviews and don't answer tough questions?

Ms. Bill Clinton: That's just not true, I have answered hundreds of questions and met thousands of people during this campaign.

Are you an American first or a Democrat first?

Ms. Bill Clinton: Well, that is really the same thing isn't it.

Is the campaigning draining on you.? How do you do it?

Ms. Bill Clinton: I'm in no wayze tired!

Your democratic party organization keeps talking about defeating a third "Bush" term. Why is no one talking about a third "Clinton" term ?

Ms. Bill Clinton: Ha Ha HA Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA AH.! Ha HA HA Ha HA Ha!!

Why have you not answered questions about your relationship with the convicted fund raiser Norman Chu or released the documents from your husband's administration about your activities there?

Ms. Bill Clinton: I have answered thousands of questions and met millions of people during this campaign.

Except for your earliest involvement in politics, you have trained with and been associated with many who could be called Socialists. What have you learned from them that you plan to implement during a Clinton administration?

Ms. Bill Clinton: Ha Ha Ha HA Ha Ha HA Ha HA AH.! Ha HA Ha HA Ha HA!!

Do you support the efforts of some States to give driver's licenses to illegal immigrants?

Ms. Bill Clinton: What I do support is comprehensive immigration reform so that the Democratic party can cultivate a whole new class of voters dependent on government.

We are on the edge of a potentially serious economic downturn. What is your solution?

Ms. Bill Clinton: We have to compel the businesses of this country to do more for their employees. We have to require that those that "have" give it to those that don't.

While you did vote for the conflict in Iraq you say now you would end it expeditiously. You also say you respect and support the troops. How do you square this with the numerous occasions in which you disrespected and even insulted the military and secret service staff that protected you during your husband's administration?

Ms. Bill Clinton: Ha Ha HA Ha Ha HA HA Ha HA AH.! Ha HA HA HA HA HA!!

What would you change on your first day in office as President?

Ms. Bill Clinton: I want the residence painted a nice tan color.

But, It's the "White House"

Ms. Bill Clinton: That's enough of your insolence. Take him away and throw him in the pit with the republicans. Ha Ha HA Ha Ha HA HA Ha HA AH.! Ha HA HA HA HA HA!! [Singing softlty to herself] Yes, I've paid the price................. But look how much I gained................. If I have to, I can do anything........... I am woman...............

[The above is a simulated interview with Ms. Bill Clinton. It includes some of her own statements and other positions that we can only surmise from her actions and words]