INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0 - REALLY FUNNY

My girlfriend sent me this in my e-mail this morning. If you’re a woman, maybe you can relate. If you’re a man – RUN FOR COVER.   

INSTALLING HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and

.

I noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance --

.

Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which

.

operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable

.

programs, such as Romance 9.5 and

'

Personal Attention 6.5                        

.

then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0,

 .

and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and

.

Housecleaning 2.6simply crashes the system. I've

.

tried running Nagging 5.3to fix these problems, but to no avail.

.

What can I do?

.

Signed, Desperate

------------------------------------------------------------ -----
 

Dear Desperate:

.

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,

. 

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML"

.

and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the

.

Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,

.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications

.

Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  But remember, overuse of the

.

above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to

.

Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1is a

.

very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0

.

(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize

.

control of all your system resources).

.

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0program.

.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have

.

limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You

.

might consider buying additional software to improve memory

.

and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

.

Good Luck,

.
Tech Support